I pay; therefore I write
I have a year subscription to live journal, so I need to start writing more in it. I just dont have anything great to say lately, besides depressing shit.
Oh, here's a great quote, courtesy of Heather: "I gave it my best, but I could not give it my all" hahahahaha. Classic.
I'm really sick of my depression and just want it to be over with. I have short spurts of realizations when i know that things will not be like this for long, and it will pass, but I am definitly in a hole here. I just have to try and think positive. I really dont want to go on meds again, for christs sake.
I look like shit today, my outfit is strangely thrown together, my legs are pale as hell and looking quite chubby, I have barely any make up on, my hair needs a trim majorly, I have dark circles under my eyes. Oh, and since I'm on a roll: I still cant find my new capital one credit card, and i keep calling capital one but i get put on hold for 20+ minutes everytime i finally talk to someone, then get transferred and have to wait AGAIN, so I still havent been able to talk to anyone. My oil needs to be changed, I need to study math, exercise, get a facial (pimples uhhhh), and I need to exercise regularly. That means I need to lay off the cigarettes and other unhealthy things that put me in counter-productive cycles.
I just want to feel NORMAL again.
I'm so 'off' since Jon and I broke up. I'm the one who ended it and I feel horrible...I try to remember it was the right thing to do, but I miss him so much in my life. Its strange, I spent 2 1/2 years w/him, talking everyday, and then *poof* its gone.
Its been a few monthes now, and I still dont feel good. Actually, its been harder these past few weeks.
Oh, here's a great quote, courtesy of Heather: "I gave it my best, but I could not give it my all" hahahahaha. Classic.
I'm really sick of my depression and just want it to be over with. I have short spurts of realizations when i know that things will not be like this for long, and it will pass, but I am definitly in a hole here. I just have to try and think positive. I really dont want to go on meds again, for christs sake.
I look like shit today, my outfit is strangely thrown together, my legs are pale as hell and looking quite chubby, I have barely any make up on, my hair needs a trim majorly, I have dark circles under my eyes. Oh, and since I'm on a roll: I still cant find my new capital one credit card, and i keep calling capital one but i get put on hold for 20+ minutes everytime i finally talk to someone, then get transferred and have to wait AGAIN, so I still havent been able to talk to anyone. My oil needs to be changed, I need to study math, exercise, get a facial (pimples uhhhh), and I need to exercise regularly. That means I need to lay off the cigarettes and other unhealthy things that put me in counter-productive cycles.
I just want to feel NORMAL again.
I'm so 'off' since Jon and I broke up. I'm the one who ended it and I feel horrible...I try to remember it was the right thing to do, but I miss him so much in my life. Its strange, I spent 2 1/2 years w/him, talking everyday, and then *poof* its gone.
Its been a few monthes now, and I still dont feel good. Actually, its been harder these past few weeks.