Anthropologists have the most fun at bars

Apr 22, 2005 14:54

Beeyootiful new icon by... Shite. I forgot! Somebody very, very good. Don't fuck with the anthropologists, people.

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Stopped off at the bar last night on the way home for a beer or two before diving back into the homework mess (which we never really dove back in to, has it happened) and met a RANDOM SCARY MAN. At first blush, RSM appeared to be a harmless drunk just trying to figure out a way to hit on us, but then his 50-year-old friend started talking to my friend and I was stuck with him. In the course of 20 minutes he revealed to me that:

a) he had too much respect for human beings to lay a hand on them in violence;
b) he was at the bar to get a few beers before smoking his pot -- which he had so cunningly hidden inside a box of mints, thus apparently ensuring his pot also freshened his breath;
c) he worked for the CIA (if I had a dime for every time a guy thought this was a clever joke...);
d) he had been arrested for deliberately wrecking his girlfriend's car;
e) he had done very, very bad things, apparently contradicting point a);
f) he in fact worked for the Office of Personnel Management, looking at medical forms all day, but was in his soul an artiste and musical virtuoso;
g) when I pretended to have a big, strong, drug-dealing boyfriend already (hell, why not?) he gave me his phone number so that I could help him score;
h) while I wasn't his "perfect" woman, though attractive enough, I should give him a call in case I wanted some good dick or honest conversation.

I love going to the bar. :-) Everyone should come with me to the bar! RSMs all around! We'll bat them around like kitties with mice.

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James Dean is coming to happy hour at my university with me (!). This is only our second date (don't look at me like that, I've been busy!), and I'm a wee bit nervous. I was going to wear a skirt again but it's raining and none of my pants fit me since I started going to the gym. I tried emergency shrinking a pair in the dryer this morning and I'm saving them for the evening. (/anxiety)

Told the ex-boyfriend about James Dean the other day -- mmm, the satisfaction was so good. His new girlfriend is fugly. I win!

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OMG, it's so true!!!!11!!!

Vin Diesel coined the term "horny" when, during a rhino hunt in darkest Africa, he reached total sexual pleasure after being gored by an alpha-male Rhinoceros. He then killed the rhino with his soul.

Learn your own Random Vin Diesel Fact!
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