Not my wedding:
Where I am not holding my reception:
a faux-castle in a strip mall in the south suburbs.
What I'm not wearing:
a headpiece that makes the unsuspecting childlike model look like a carousel horse
shoes in which the spike heel lights up when I walk
That headpiece has been one of my favorite photos for a while now - it's just too terrible to be believed.
The castle thing wouldn't be quite as funny if I hadn't encountered it entirely by accident while driving around the forest-preserve region near lab. As it happened, I was out looking for a quiet little picnic shelter, and passed through a wide spot in the road that had a couple of diners and a drugstore, and a legal office - basically a crossroads with a strip mall on each corner - and encountered a large sign in ye olde scripte for Royalty Banquets with a red LED display underneath proclaiming "LOVE IS: Jerry and Kathy" (or some such) with a little wedding bell image and the date. This caused me to do a little double-take, and saw the stone "castle" set back past a wide parking lot. I drove on, and maintained the impression that it was actually attached to the drug-store/etc. strip mall. A detour around traffic took me past there today; while I was delighted to get the name so I could ridicule the website, I was disappointed to see that it is in fact its own building, not just a stone facade on a converted Chinese Buffet.
Anyway, that's the wedding anti-update for today.