Despite the fact that I am spending way too much money on our house-outdoors this spring, I am not what you'd call a gardener.
For example, Dirk had to school me on what a spade is. I know it digs things, I'm not that bad. But consider:
This is the ace of spades:
These are two things with which one can dig - one is a shovel, and the other a spade:
Which one looks most like the card?
It turns out I am incapable of calling a spade a spade.