September 27th, 2007- November 5th, 2007
I miss concede_believe, and I hate everything else. I don't care if all of my pictures are gone. I will make this journal better. I have decided to add all the entries from other journals to this one (although, they'll be out of order) to create a more complete volume. Each enty will have the date, time, and comments just to make it even better. Go me.
I shall start with surrender_trust.
05 November 2007 @ 11:15 pm
I'm really liking the idea of undergraduate research. I like the idea of co-majoring in zoology and environmental sciences. I like how I'm finally reading a book for my English class that I might actually enjoy. I like that I just studied all afternoon/night for a microbiology exam that won't go towards my major or count for Miami Plan credit. I like the idea of not taking Spanish next semester. I like the idea of studying abroad in New Zealand. I like the idea of going to Costa Rica for a few weeks right after school before everyone will be home. I like how this entry has no point.
COMMENTS: glass_radical on November 7th, 2007 12:48 am (UTC)
english class reading material? enjoyable?!
i'm....not quite sure....if I understand.....
surrender_trust on November 7th, 2007 04:18 pm (UTC)
I know. It's a new concept for me, too. I'll let you know how it goes.
swallowed_zen on November 7th, 2007 01:28 am (UTC)
I like that you stole my double major and will probably do better because that's just how you are. Even if I've had this dream for awhile, I can't be jealous that you'll outdo me because that just means one more person out their doing something great. And besides, now we can work together FOREVER, not just in the summer.
But you're still a thief.
surrender_trust on November 7th, 2007 04:22 pm (UTC)
Well, your just sweet and you obviously picked the best major. What else could I do but copy you? So, where are we going to work in four years?
22 October 2007 @ 08:53 pm
I just wrote a short essay about how I want a grant for undergraduate research in life sciences. I don't know how much of it was true, but it was written really well. I guess I'm lucky that way. Sometimes when I write it just comes out right. Like it makes a point in a smooth and intricate way without me having to think too much about it before hand. I dunno, I guess I just wanted to express my gratitude for that because it's something that really has nothing to do with talent.
I went to West Virginia this weekend. Brian lent me a really good book called Blue like Jazz. It answered some questions and posed some more, but I think I'm going to read it again in a few weeks and take notes.
The trip was great. I found out that I really like backpacking, and I really want to go backpacking around Europe for a few months this summer. I doubt that it'll work out, but you never know. Lucy did it the summer after her first year in college. I don't want to be a copycat, but it's a really great idea.
I really like having options. And opportunities. And writing. Oh, man, it's not even November, and I'm feeling really thankful for a lot of stuff.
I guess I'm thankful for that, too.
COMMENTS: swallowed_zen on October 23rd, 2007 07:38 pm (UTC)
It's good that you're happy. But something about this makes me want to gag. Like if I didn't know you, I'd probably hate the person who wrote this because they're so fake. But I do know you. Does that make it okay?
I love you though.
surrender_trust on October 24th, 2007 12:07 am (UTC)
Well, I'm feeling rather oddly lately, and I'm doing my best to describe the feelings but it's harder than it sounds. It's best just to generalize at this point. I guess thankfulness just seems like the most accurate word for it.
I dunno. I don't want to sound fake.
We have some stuff to talk about, in any case. You'd better be coming this weekend.
14 October 2007 @ 10:00 pm
Okay. I just got back from this freshman non-denominational Christian group that Brian helped put together. It made me think a lot about some random things, none of which had anything to do with the central message of the meeting, but that's okay.
I've never really been much of a public kind of religious person. I guess I was always more comfortable with a private faith. The idea of going to church was always unattractive to me, but I think that going to these kinds of things is really helping. They aren't church exactly, but the concept is the same. I think I might just be uncomfortable with watching other people express their faith. It almost seems different than what I feel. I mean, I know that it is supposed to be different for each person, but I just feel separate from everyone else in this kind of situation...
Shoot. This isn't coming out right.
Do you ever have an idea or a thought that you wanted to express or share with someone else, and the words sound right in your head, but just get jumbled on the way out? Yeah, that's me all the time.
Okay... let me try this again.
I feel like I am an observer of life, rather than a participant. I just spent the whole weekend in the middle of a forest in Indiana. It was an experience that should have brought some sort of feeling back. Like camp-sickness or realization of the beauty of life or sadness about missing out on the fun activities on campus or something. But I got nothing. Not even frustration at the fact that we spent the entire weekend trying to build a metal building that should have been up last Monday. Key word: trying. Hours of work got us nowhere, basically. Anyway, time is just flying by, and I think I'm having a good time. At least I'm not feeling sad. But then again, I'm not particularly happy either. Busy is a good word. Not an emotion, but you know.
Crap. That didn't come out right at all either.
Perhaps I shall sleep on it and try again another day.
10 October 2007 @ 08:14 pm
Whenever I go to an some sort of academic advising session, they always tell me that I seem to be really well-adjusted and that I seem to have things under control. It kind of makes me want to laugh every time I hear it, except for the fact that I hear it a lot. Could it possibly be true or am I just a good actor? It's almost an identity crisis.
COMMENTS:
redwindmill11 on October 11th, 2007 04:25 am (UTC)
I had a meeting with my First Year Enrichment "coach" about basically just being a first year student and stuff...she told me that I had things "under control" and that I seemed like I knew what I needed to do to get ahead and reach my goals.
I've never felt more clueless about stuff and yet i just nodded.
College is wack.
30 September 2007 @ 02:50 am
I've just been having a really long, really personal discussion about religion and faith. I'm really messed up and really clear at the same time. I feel wanted and useless. Enlightened and thrust into ignomity. My life is a paradox. I'm making progress, though, and that makes me hopeful. One thing is for sure... things are moving in directions that I never expected. Oh, the beauty of college.
COMMENTS:
Songsparrow96 on September 30th, 2007 08:18 am (UTC)
Life is a Paradox Think of it as Paroxysm...Your on your way!
religion is the practice of faith one puts in action...Faith is the evidence of things not understood that one ask to come to be,and confidence/promise/honor that is pledged to us...Paroxysm is...passion,excitement,fire,submission and gain. Dear surrender_trust keep your focus...God maid you perfect criticizing yourself keeps you in confusion ... Have more assurance your on the right track you just spoke that yourself...relax your not your professor don't fail grade yourself.It's not about being wanted or useless the fact remains your needed! Your sense of direction/devotion will see you through Believe in yourself and rest on our loving God of Grace as He has granted you a pardon take the opportunity to renew your passport and all the rest will follow and be there when you least expect it because answers come when we seek them on time! Best wishes and fondness I leave you with always:
songsparrow96
27 September 2007 @ 01:44 am
So here we are again. My last journal is a waste of space since all of the pictures got deleted or something, so I decided to continue on here. From concede_believe to surrender_trust. See the parallelism? Good.
Well, I don't think that I'll be posting pictures here. At least, not exclusively. We'll see. I kind of miss it, but I'm also really busy with college or whatever. Speaking of, I have a microbiology test to be studying for... I guess that's why I decided to make a new journal.
I have a lot to say about college, I just can't seem to organize it properly. I can't decided or commit or focus. It will sort out eventually, I'm sure. I've felt faith again for the first time in years, and I am unbelieveably excited about it.
Oh, microbiology... yeah.