As I lay with my head in your lap camerado
All the parties that had to be planned and entertained by me are now officially over and that tightness that has been weighing in my chest for the past few weeks has acceptingly subsided. Oh, I don't know how I pulled everything off because I'm so broke right now and even though experience has proven it time and again, I still cannot just accept the fact that everything is probably going to fall right into place the second I blink away to fret over some other something...silly me, always learning new lessons and never really learning from them.
I like my new job okay, but i miss the other people I used to see everyday. We all worked together for years. When you change your life so drastically you know that you should be prepared for a shift in all that seems normal and safe, but it's easy to pretend that you will keep strong ties with things that previously required virtually no effort on your part. Most bonds can and will be broken. Isn't' it just a matter of time? I think I'll go visit tomorrow.
It's hard for me to meet new people, often I search for some sort of depth were there is none, for myne eyes at least. Everyone has some sort of real person packed away inside themselves I think. I become disinterested easily and hardly ever pursue new friendships. This is something I would like to work on, although it might be hard considering I know a lot of the people I work with already. Ah, talk talk talk
quiet
Here is one of my favorite poems by Walt Whitman. I read it every now and then...sometimes i cry
As I lay with my head in your lap camerado,
The confession I made I resume, what I said to you and the open air
I resume,
I know I am restless and make others so,
I know my words are weapons full of danger, full of death,
For I confront peace, security, and all the settled laws, to
unsettle them,
I am more resolute because all have denied me than I could ever have
been had all accepted me,
I heed not and have never heeded either experience, cautions,
majorities, nor ridicule,
And the threat of what is call'd hell is little or nothing to me,
And the lure of what is call'd heaven is little or nothing to me;
Dear camerado! I confess I have urged you onward with me, and still
urge you, without the least idea what is our destination,
Or whether we shall be victorious, or utterly quell'd and defeated.
I like my new job okay, but i miss the other people I used to see everyday. We all worked together for years. When you change your life so drastically you know that you should be prepared for a shift in all that seems normal and safe, but it's easy to pretend that you will keep strong ties with things that previously required virtually no effort on your part. Most bonds can and will be broken. Isn't' it just a matter of time? I think I'll go visit tomorrow.
It's hard for me to meet new people, often I search for some sort of depth were there is none, for myne eyes at least. Everyone has some sort of real person packed away inside themselves I think. I become disinterested easily and hardly ever pursue new friendships. This is something I would like to work on, although it might be hard considering I know a lot of the people I work with already. Ah, talk talk talk
quiet
Here is one of my favorite poems by Walt Whitman. I read it every now and then...sometimes i cry
As I lay with my head in your lap camerado,
The confession I made I resume, what I said to you and the open air
I resume,
I know I am restless and make others so,
I know my words are weapons full of danger, full of death,
For I confront peace, security, and all the settled laws, to
unsettle them,
I am more resolute because all have denied me than I could ever have
been had all accepted me,
I heed not and have never heeded either experience, cautions,
majorities, nor ridicule,
And the threat of what is call'd hell is little or nothing to me,
And the lure of what is call'd heaven is little or nothing to me;
Dear camerado! I confess I have urged you onward with me, and still
urge you, without the least idea what is our destination,
Or whether we shall be victorious, or utterly quell'd and defeated.