Limerence....
What a great word! This was a term passed along to me by debgirl001 a while back... and it seems that this term has been playing a role in my life and I never knew it... apparently it's been playing a role for a long *LONG* time...
why am I one of those folks? am I just unable to stand on my own?
who knows?
and does it really matter - that's probably the key question...
I'm a person that enjoys that passionate feeling you have for someone that you are infatuated with... I guess you could say that I'm in love with the feeling of having a crush on someone... heh!
I'm a bit fortunate, I think, in being able to actually *have* those feelings for other people! how sad is it that there are people out there that can't open up their hearts to others. I almost was one of those... I mean, hells bells, you get burned enough, you have a tendency to not put yourself out there again - right? Gods, I was close to doing that... but, fortunately ( or unfortunately? LOL), it's apparently not in my nature to give up on love.
I haven't yet found anyone that I truly, passionately, love yet... and I'd like to say it's because I haven't been looking - but it's mainly because I don't have the bloody *time* to go looking! I have, over the years, found a number of potentials... potentials that, for one reason or another (married, in another state, emotionally unavailable, gay, physically repulsed by me, mentally unstable; the list is long), haven't really worked out.
I wonder if I'll ever get tired of that dull *CRUNCH* that happens when you run face first into that wall? That moment when you realize that the other person will never feel for you the way you feel for them?
And I'm not just talking about love, although that is usually where you want it to be - it's about every level. There is someone out there that you admire and look up to and have enormous amounts of respect for - and you find out they despise and/or loathe you. I've had that happen. But, usually, it's that warm feeling in your mind and heart that you get around the object of your desire, that turns to a cold knot in your stomache and ashes in your mouth when you discover, or finally realize, that it ain't never gonna happen.
No... I suppose that until the day that I either have my feelings reciprocated, or my time in this existence is ended, I'll be one of those romantic idiots... and that's not bad considering what a cynical bastard I am most of the time.
I don't know if the universe has any plans for me to find anyone... and given my lack of sensing when *ANYONE* is interested in me (unless they apply said interest with a brick, two-by-four, or secondary party), I'm not sure I'll even realize said person... the best I can hope for is that 1) my brain is working the day I meet said person, 2) that the said person is, in fact, a woman, 3) that she (seriously, it better be a 'she') has a brain - and isn't afraid to use it, and 4) that she be what I would consider to be attractive (despite what she or anyone else thinks). Not asking for to much, am I? LOL
My friend 'L' has pointed (a couple times, I think) out to me that I don't need anyone to make me a whole person - and I'm very well aware of this. Actually, all I need is to be myself in order to be a whole person - but I very much want to be able to share my whole person with another... and as long as it doesn't become all consuming for me to have someone, I think that it's okay to want to have someone in my life.
So, being in a state of limerence ain't a bad thing... not a bad thing at all! Thanks again, Deb!
why am I one of those folks? am I just unable to stand on my own?
who knows?
and does it really matter - that's probably the key question...
I'm a person that enjoys that passionate feeling you have for someone that you are infatuated with... I guess you could say that I'm in love with the feeling of having a crush on someone... heh!
I'm a bit fortunate, I think, in being able to actually *have* those feelings for other people! how sad is it that there are people out there that can't open up their hearts to others. I almost was one of those... I mean, hells bells, you get burned enough, you have a tendency to not put yourself out there again - right? Gods, I was close to doing that... but, fortunately ( or unfortunately? LOL), it's apparently not in my nature to give up on love.
I haven't yet found anyone that I truly, passionately, love yet... and I'd like to say it's because I haven't been looking - but it's mainly because I don't have the bloody *time* to go looking! I have, over the years, found a number of potentials... potentials that, for one reason or another (married, in another state, emotionally unavailable, gay, physically repulsed by me, mentally unstable; the list is long), haven't really worked out.
I wonder if I'll ever get tired of that dull *CRUNCH* that happens when you run face first into that wall? That moment when you realize that the other person will never feel for you the way you feel for them?
And I'm not just talking about love, although that is usually where you want it to be - it's about every level. There is someone out there that you admire and look up to and have enormous amounts of respect for - and you find out they despise and/or loathe you. I've had that happen. But, usually, it's that warm feeling in your mind and heart that you get around the object of your desire, that turns to a cold knot in your stomache and ashes in your mouth when you discover, or finally realize, that it ain't never gonna happen.
No... I suppose that until the day that I either have my feelings reciprocated, or my time in this existence is ended, I'll be one of those romantic idiots... and that's not bad considering what a cynical bastard I am most of the time.
I don't know if the universe has any plans for me to find anyone... and given my lack of sensing when *ANYONE* is interested in me (unless they apply said interest with a brick, two-by-four, or secondary party), I'm not sure I'll even realize said person... the best I can hope for is that 1) my brain is working the day I meet said person, 2) that the said person is, in fact, a woman, 3) that she (seriously, it better be a 'she') has a brain - and isn't afraid to use it, and 4) that she be what I would consider to be attractive (despite what she or anyone else thinks). Not asking for to much, am I? LOL
My friend 'L' has pointed (a couple times, I think) out to me that I don't need anyone to make me a whole person - and I'm very well aware of this. Actually, all I need is to be myself in order to be a whole person - but I very much want to be able to share my whole person with another... and as long as it doesn't become all consuming for me to have someone, I think that it's okay to want to have someone in my life.
So, being in a state of limerence ain't a bad thing... not a bad thing at all! Thanks again, Deb!