Its only monday

[comster25]

6 more days until kim is back at home. Until I can actually get in contact with her again.
Could be as long as 11 days until I see her again.
Raaar!
Im missing her so much.
And Im really scared shes not really missing me much at all.
I had a dream she was coming home and could see me and she didnt even care.
Im really scared this will happen in real life. Im COMPLETELY paranoid.
She will just come home and I wont matter anymore.
She'll realize while shes gone Im not even half as great as she thought I was.
Im not worth anything.
I'll just be forgotten.
I dont know why I feel this way.
Im just so scared this will happen that I cant get it off my mind.
Im so scared to lose her. Or worse, Im scared I already have.
Ive already lost so much from my life it kills me.
I can't lose her too.
I feel like nothing I do matters.

Im going to try to go to the gym soon and kick my ass.
Even though its -5million degrees outside.
And these pills Im taking that are supposed to give me energy dont usually do much of anything until 7 or so at night.
I feel tired right now...not energized.
They are probably just fucking up my sleeping pattern.
I might stop taking them soon.