Thoughts
I have the following lyric stuck in my head: "I've been through the desert on a horse with no name..." It's extremely irritating. But I don't feel like listening to music, so there's not a great chance of getting it OUT again. Oh well.
School is almost finished for the term - possibly for the whole summer, if I don't make it into the writing class I'm on a waiting list for. I don't care much, one way or another. Being so near the end of the term, and having most of my homework done, has given me great peace of mind. I've had time to work some on my book, to relax, and to do a little self-improvement. I'm sure most of you haven't noticed much of a change yet, but I hope you will over time. That is, I hope I can stick with it this time. Being in school makes me into a totally different person. I'm absent-minded, rude, stressed, irritable... all bad things. Stress really affects my personality and behavior, and for that I am sorry.
I suppose my next step should be to clean my room. I simply have too much crap. For one thing, my room is not layed out very well. Now that the weather will be improving, I won't need my heater on anymore and can finally move the bed back against the wall to give myself more central space. Besides, I swear that heater doesn't work anyway. I have it on for half an hour and it is hardly warm at all. It's probably broken. It used to work pretty well, as I recall...
The book is coming along. I'm still having fun with it, though I regret to say I've recently added some scenes that will greatly complicate the story line. They will either help or hinder its total production... Time will tell, I suppose.
For some reason I've been obsessed with having kids lately. I don't know what it is. Maybe the Spring. Maybe the fact that I hardly have any friends... I want a girl and boy, EmmyLou and Vincent. I would be adopting, of course. Or having someone else have the babies for me. Probably my sister... I'd probably want her to quit smoking, though, or at least cut way back. I dunno. I'm way too young to have kids right now. Gabe and I are poor, I'm still very much a student, and neither of us has even flown the nest ourselves, yet. Besides, Gabe doesn't want kids. I used to think, fuck having kids. You have to give up your entire social life. But I don't think that's necessarily true... First off, almost any parent will tell you it's more than worth it. Second, I know people who have really cool little kids they can take places with them who behave and everyone likes to have around. And my kids would be cool. EmmyLou would be my little rockabilly mama and Vincent would have a mohawk from the time his hair grew to more than an inch and a half in length. They'd be so cute, and since they'd be Gabe's and my kids, they'd be badasses too. Then... I got to thinking about Eric's parents and Jeff's parents... how hard it would be to have your child die... then I was reading a book about kidnappers/rapists and thought... it's so dangerous for children in the world. If I had a kid, I couldn't live with them dying before me. So I don't know... I guess we'll see what happens five to eight years down the road...
Tomorrow after work I have to buckle down and study for my test. I figure tomorrow I will study tests 1 & 2, then Wednesday evening I'll study the new material. As it turns out, though I have been freaking out about my Biology grade again this term, I only have to get a high "C" grade on the final to pass the entire class with a "C." Not bad, eh? For me, anyway.
I miss Gabe when he's not around. It seems weird... like he'll call and I'll talk to him and it's not a big deal, but when I'm not with him or talking to him, he seems like a weird dream. I can hear him talking, and everything I remember him saying makes me feel all happy because it's either really cute, funny, intelligent or bold. I feel good but he seems far away sometimes. I hope that's not a bad sign.
I think that's about all I have to say at the moment. I hope everyone has a good summer and does well on their finals if they're in school. If they're not... well fuck you, lucky sons of bitches! :)
<3 Bonzo
School is almost finished for the term - possibly for the whole summer, if I don't make it into the writing class I'm on a waiting list for. I don't care much, one way or another. Being so near the end of the term, and having most of my homework done, has given me great peace of mind. I've had time to work some on my book, to relax, and to do a little self-improvement. I'm sure most of you haven't noticed much of a change yet, but I hope you will over time. That is, I hope I can stick with it this time. Being in school makes me into a totally different person. I'm absent-minded, rude, stressed, irritable... all bad things. Stress really affects my personality and behavior, and for that I am sorry.
I suppose my next step should be to clean my room. I simply have too much crap. For one thing, my room is not layed out very well. Now that the weather will be improving, I won't need my heater on anymore and can finally move the bed back against the wall to give myself more central space. Besides, I swear that heater doesn't work anyway. I have it on for half an hour and it is hardly warm at all. It's probably broken. It used to work pretty well, as I recall...
The book is coming along. I'm still having fun with it, though I regret to say I've recently added some scenes that will greatly complicate the story line. They will either help or hinder its total production... Time will tell, I suppose.
For some reason I've been obsessed with having kids lately. I don't know what it is. Maybe the Spring. Maybe the fact that I hardly have any friends... I want a girl and boy, EmmyLou and Vincent. I would be adopting, of course. Or having someone else have the babies for me. Probably my sister... I'd probably want her to quit smoking, though, or at least cut way back. I dunno. I'm way too young to have kids right now. Gabe and I are poor, I'm still very much a student, and neither of us has even flown the nest ourselves, yet. Besides, Gabe doesn't want kids. I used to think, fuck having kids. You have to give up your entire social life. But I don't think that's necessarily true... First off, almost any parent will tell you it's more than worth it. Second, I know people who have really cool little kids they can take places with them who behave and everyone likes to have around. And my kids would be cool. EmmyLou would be my little rockabilly mama and Vincent would have a mohawk from the time his hair grew to more than an inch and a half in length. They'd be so cute, and since they'd be Gabe's and my kids, they'd be badasses too. Then... I got to thinking about Eric's parents and Jeff's parents... how hard it would be to have your child die... then I was reading a book about kidnappers/rapists and thought... it's so dangerous for children in the world. If I had a kid, I couldn't live with them dying before me. So I don't know... I guess we'll see what happens five to eight years down the road...
Tomorrow after work I have to buckle down and study for my test. I figure tomorrow I will study tests 1 & 2, then Wednesday evening I'll study the new material. As it turns out, though I have been freaking out about my Biology grade again this term, I only have to get a high "C" grade on the final to pass the entire class with a "C." Not bad, eh? For me, anyway.
I miss Gabe when he's not around. It seems weird... like he'll call and I'll talk to him and it's not a big deal, but when I'm not with him or talking to him, he seems like a weird dream. I can hear him talking, and everything I remember him saying makes me feel all happy because it's either really cute, funny, intelligent or bold. I feel good but he seems far away sometimes. I hope that's not a bad sign.
I think that's about all I have to say at the moment. I hope everyone has a good summer and does well on their finals if they're in school. If they're not... well fuck you, lucky sons of bitches! :)
<3 Bonzo