YOU ALWAYS HURT THE ONES YOU LOVE; aka ares commentary p.1
So I'm rereading Ares, which is my favorite Manga for a reason that is beyond me at the moment. Because it is written.... so poorly. But I love it... so much. But... God.
Okay, so we're not starting at the beginning because idk i dun wanna. We're staring at when Baroona and Michael are trapped with 40 enemy soldiers (and one master swordsman!) inside some passageway in an enemy country. And they're fighting and shit and then they meet the fucking Master and Michael tells Baroona this:
OH GEE THANKS MICHAEL YOU GO TAKE THAT ONE MASTER SWORDSMAN WHILE I TAKE THE 40 SOLDIERS WHO WERE TRAINED UNDER HIM AND PRETTY DAMN GOOD AT FIGHTING! SURE! THAT SOUNDS FAIR!youdick
BUT NEVER FEAR! Because after Michael has his little fight, and Baroona has had one of the sexiest fight scenes ever drawn, this happens:
Yeah. That's 34 soldiers dead. And Baroona killed them all. Bad. Ass.
So yeah then the team Baroona and Michael are fighting for win the war and Baroona and Michael become kind of famous for pretty much... ending it! Because they caught the king of the enemy country and all and shit.
aAND THEN TWO MONTHS LATER BECAUSE THIS MANGWHATEVER JUST HAS NO SENSE OF PACING WHATSOEVER cut to the generals of the Country of Chronos (i.e. the good guys) who are plotting to kill the only good sexy general, Icarus. It is a very menacing scene, filled with campy evil laughter and fast zooms outwards.
also: Radink is the stupidest fucking name for a country anywhere. It should be renamed Radinky.
Anyway Icarus is all HURM THEY ARE REALLY OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO KILL ME BY SENDING ME ON THIS HERE SUICIDE MISSION TO TALK TO THESE REALLY STRONG ENEMIES WHO WILL TRY TO KILL ME. AND IF THEY FAIL TO KILL ME, THE OTHER GENERALS WILL TRY TO KILL ME. SO LET'S GO HIRE THOSE THERE MERCENARIES TO PROTECT ME.So he derps off in his little carriage and drags baroona and michael with him, and baroona and michael drag their friends ares and gohu (who is so fucking useless) with them.
MEANWHILE AT THAT ENEMY FORTRESS THEY'RE HEADING TOWARDS BAD TRANSLATIONS HAPPEN. OR BAD WRITING. IT'S HARD TO TELL.
KILL THEIR HEAD BUT DON'T WORRY YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL HIM
I'M GETTING MIXED MESSAGES man it would totally suck to be cygnus, the guy he's giving orders to. I would be so confused.
Anyway, Icarus and gang enter the enemy fortress and the head-enemy general greets them.
He looks like this:
i don't know about you guys, but a shady man in a creepy cloak with eyes like that? totally the top of my trustworthy list.
especially when i notice that wherever i look
there's
lots
of blood
on a side note, i like the fact taht whoever wrote this also wrote 'black knight' down at the bottom (which is the name of thebad guys Icarus and co. are talking to). It's a nice gesture. You know, in case we thought Joe the Baker did it, now we know that these really evil fucking looking guys did it. Thank you, dying soldier!
Anyway they enter the castle for whatever reason and things go sour really fast and it ends with ares attacking Mr. Creepyhood because HE'S THE GUY THAT KILLED ARES' MASTER A LONG TIME AGO AND RAJKL;AGJL;anger! But Michael and Baroona stop him from being really stupid and then this happens.
so in case you missed that extremely subtle hint: MICHAEL IS TOTALLY THE PRINCE OF THE ISIRIS KINGDOM. Also I like how that guy just... assumed that if you're named Michael you're a Prince. Isn't it a common name? It's got to be a lot more fucking common then fucking Baroona, but no one recognizes him as Daraak's fucking ex-champion gladiator until like. Chapter 69. HEH. 69.
anyway more shit happens and it's revealed that Ares is this really famous dead swordsman's apprentice and also the generals do try to kill Icarus but Ares, Baroona and Michael wipe the floor with them so it's just like HEH.
so then we get to a new volume (VOLUM 8! ROFL DAMN RIGHT I SKIPPED THE BEGINNING)
and we get the only character introduction pages in all of Ares.
And the author of this manga proves to us that he's incredibly lazy. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE FUCKING DESCRIPTIONS. CELINE DION COULD WRITE BETTER DESCRIPTIONS THAN THAT.
Anyway after a really fucking long flashback, we get some Baroona angst which I find adorable.
WHY YES HE IS also to further prove michael's a sexy dick/craycray
WARM AND TINGLY
seriously. what. the fuck.
and then this happens:
ICARUS: THE WORLD'S WORST GENERAL
DOESN'T CARE IF HIS KING DIES!
ALL YOURS FOR 19.99!!!
and with that I'm going to sleep because LOL IT'S ALMOST ONE AM AND I HAVE CLASS TOMORROW
Okay, so we're not starting at the beginning because idk i dun wanna. We're staring at when Baroona and Michael are trapped with 40 enemy soldiers (and one master swordsman!) inside some passageway in an enemy country. And they're fighting and shit and then they meet the fucking Master and Michael tells Baroona this:
OH GEE THANKS MICHAEL YOU GO TAKE THAT ONE MASTER SWORDSMAN WHILE I TAKE THE 40 SOLDIERS WHO WERE TRAINED UNDER HIM AND PRETTY DAMN GOOD AT FIGHTING! SURE! THAT SOUNDS FAIR!youdick
BUT NEVER FEAR! Because after Michael has his little fight, and Baroona has had one of the sexiest fight scenes ever drawn, this happens:
Yeah. That's 34 soldiers dead. And Baroona killed them all. Bad. Ass.
So yeah then the team Baroona and Michael are fighting for win the war and Baroona and Michael become kind of famous for pretty much... ending it! Because they caught the king of the enemy country and all and shit.
aAND THEN TWO MONTHS LATER BECAUSE THIS MANGWHATEVER JUST HAS NO SENSE OF PACING WHATSOEVER cut to the generals of the Country of Chronos (i.e. the good guys) who are plotting to kill the only good sexy general, Icarus. It is a very menacing scene, filled with campy evil laughter and fast zooms outwards.
also: Radink is the stupidest fucking name for a country anywhere. It should be renamed Radinky.
Anyway Icarus is all HURM THEY ARE REALLY OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO KILL ME BY SENDING ME ON THIS HERE SUICIDE MISSION TO TALK TO THESE REALLY STRONG ENEMIES WHO WILL TRY TO KILL ME. AND IF THEY FAIL TO KILL ME, THE OTHER GENERALS WILL TRY TO KILL ME. SO LET'S GO HIRE THOSE THERE MERCENARIES TO PROTECT ME.So he derps off in his little carriage and drags baroona and michael with him, and baroona and michael drag their friends ares and gohu (who is so fucking useless) with them.
MEANWHILE AT THAT ENEMY FORTRESS THEY'RE HEADING TOWARDS BAD TRANSLATIONS HAPPEN. OR BAD WRITING. IT'S HARD TO TELL.
KILL THEIR HEAD BUT DON'T WORRY YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL HIM
I'M GETTING MIXED MESSAGES man it would totally suck to be cygnus, the guy he's giving orders to. I would be so confused.
Anyway, Icarus and gang enter the enemy fortress and the head-enemy general greets them.
He looks like this:
i don't know about you guys, but a shady man in a creepy cloak with eyes like that? totally the top of my trustworthy list.
especially when i notice that wherever i look
there's
lots
of blood
on a side note, i like the fact taht whoever wrote this also wrote 'black knight' down at the bottom (which is the name of thebad guys Icarus and co. are talking to). It's a nice gesture. You know, in case we thought Joe the Baker did it, now we know that these really evil fucking looking guys did it. Thank you, dying soldier!
Anyway they enter the castle for whatever reason and things go sour really fast and it ends with ares attacking Mr. Creepyhood because HE'S THE GUY THAT KILLED ARES' MASTER A LONG TIME AGO AND RAJKL;AGJL;anger! But Michael and Baroona stop him from being really stupid and then this happens.
so in case you missed that extremely subtle hint: MICHAEL IS TOTALLY THE PRINCE OF THE ISIRIS KINGDOM. Also I like how that guy just... assumed that if you're named Michael you're a Prince. Isn't it a common name? It's got to be a lot more fucking common then fucking Baroona, but no one recognizes him as Daraak's fucking ex-champion gladiator until like. Chapter 69. HEH. 69.
anyway more shit happens and it's revealed that Ares is this really famous dead swordsman's apprentice and also the generals do try to kill Icarus but Ares, Baroona and Michael wipe the floor with them so it's just like HEH.
so then we get to a new volume (VOLUM 8! ROFL DAMN RIGHT I SKIPPED THE BEGINNING)
and we get the only character introduction pages in all of Ares.
And the author of this manga proves to us that he's incredibly lazy. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE FUCKING DESCRIPTIONS. CELINE DION COULD WRITE BETTER DESCRIPTIONS THAN THAT.
Anyway after a really fucking long flashback, we get some Baroona angst which I find adorable.
WHY YES HE IS also to further prove michael's a sexy dick/craycray
WARM AND TINGLY
seriously. what. the fuck.
and then this happens:
ICARUS: THE WORLD'S WORST GENERAL
DOESN'T CARE IF HIS KING DIES!
ALL YOURS FOR 19.99!!!
and with that I'm going to sleep because LOL IT'S ALMOST ONE AM AND I HAVE CLASS TOMORROW