And all the boys did shrink.

[computerblue84]

today i went to my first narcotics anonymous meeting with peter. it was a very scary, frightening, yet chilling experience. it was scary being in a room full of people who were at least 10 years older than me, but they were very nice. it was kind of like in the movies where people go like "my name is ***** and i'm an addict." it took every bit of bravery i had to say that i was an addict in front of all those people but i learned a lot. you look at people who are like 50 and are so far gone that they dont even know if theyre aive or not, and i know im gonna end up like that, but i dont want to. i still have this ego complex where i still refuse to say that i am an addict. i still cant accept that, but surrendering is hard. that whole one day at a time thing makes sense though. (i got the keychain, bitches!) i felt scared. they must have thought i was 10 years old. i might be going again but i need to eat first. its good walking weather....but i still dont know. the thought of never doing drugs again makes me want to kill myself.

but on a much, much happier note....

the show last night was BRUTAL!! asschapel kicked ass and so did the other bands. they ended up staying with melanie at her house and we watched big trouble in little china while eating terrible pizza. i love melanie so much, my little hetero teddy bear.