Scary Goverment Therapist-Ish Lady
Damn, I hate those things. 0__0; I need to go to the bookstore today. I even brough my money! But Holy Shit, I hate that. My Mom always told me that if I said anything that could be interpreted wrong, that they'd take me away to the "Foster Homes" place, and that I'd never see her again. Bitch. I think she scares me on purpose, just to torture me. I mean, God Damn, it's not bad enough that I've had to put up with her paranoia for my entire shitty life, now I can't even cry? Now I can't even speak? Now I can't even write? If I'm all everyone else has, then what do I have, huh? Does anyone think about that? Yeah, I'm being punished for existing. I'm being punished for being strong. And I would rather die than be like them. I'd rather die than give up my pride, or my books, or myself. I'd rather die than let them see me cry. I'd rather die than let them break me. I will not become as weak and as pitiful as my psychotic, cruel, tormenting mother. I will not let them know I exist. I will not let myself become prey to these "emotions". I haven't felt anything but cold for 13 years, and now they beat me inside untill I cuccomb? No. My weak mother broke. My family broke. My life broke, and my world broke. And now, my pages are breaking. Now, my foundations are breaking. Now, my almost-existance is becoming alive, and I do not want to be like them. I will not ever act, talk, look, or be like them. I will die to let myself exist in my own way. They are trying to trap me in my own books, in my own "existance". I refuse to exist. I REFUSE. I will not exist here! I do not want to exist here! I will die to save what little they have not forced upon me. I do not want to live here. They will blind me. They will stab me. They will try to force emotions upon me. But I refuse to become what they are: Human. Filthy, horrible, cruel, broken, pieces of flesh and blood. I refuse to become Human. I REFUSE HUMANITY. I REFUSE TO LET MYSELF BE FORCED INTO A SET OF PLASTIC EYES, AND FAKE HEARTS, AND UNREAL EMOTIONS. I would rather die than become HUMAN.