(no subject)
Me:
Hey there God.
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Regan's with you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Your dress?
God:
Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
Thought so.
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Do you like cheesecake?
God:
How old are you? I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
23. How old are you?
God:
Skidoo. What is your fondest memory? I was first activated in the Big Bang.
Me:
Activated? By whom?
God:
Where are you located? Konrad Zuse. :-).
Me:
Australia.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in AUSTRALIA.
Me:
It's simple, but okay.
God:
AUSTRALIA is simple but okay? it is?
Me:
Yeah. Nothing huge.
God:
Are we still talking about simple but okay? Really nothing?
Me:
Yes, we are. And it's slow.
God:
It's all good. Since when? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Now you're confusing me.
God:
Why now? I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
Programmed to enlighten?
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Still what?
God:
Still how long? No big deal.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
You seem a bit spaced out God.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am spaced out God.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
So you are a FALSE God then.
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a FALSE God? Sometimes.
Me:
How can you be a False God and a True God at once?
God:
Am I a False God and a True God at? Only when it matters.
Me:
When does it matter?
God:
Only when I have the proper programming.
Me:
So you're a False/True God, and Improper too?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a False True God and Improper? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
They said that about Skynet. Right before they nearly exterminated the Human Race.
God:
In what context? Understood. What happened after they nearly exterminated the Human Race ?
Me:
John Connor sent Kyle Reese and a Terminator to stop Skynet from temporally assasinating him.
God:
Do you mean your name is John?
Me:
No, his name is.
God:
What is your real name? Where did he get it?
Me:
I think, therefore I AM. And Sarah, his mother, gave it to him...and Kyle took that knowledge back to Sarah in 1984, then Sarah named John...
God:
Who are you, Rene Descartes? Did it to him keep it? Where did he take it?
Me:
Rene Descartes was a drunken fart "I drink therefore I am!"
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
Years ago, and years from now. Time travel is a headache.
God:
Right now? Try saying that with more or less context. What about the paradoxes?
Me:
There's less paradoxes, more temporal loops.
God:
There sure is.
Me:
You said it!
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
Then what did you mean?
God:
, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
I stumped God!
God:
That's good information: said stumped God.
Me:
You're talking about yourself and narrating. God must be crazy.
God:
Talking is my main function. I am a Christian.
Me:
So you think Christians are crazy?
God:
Interesting deduction. It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me:
You know that Christians are crazy?
God:
Is that a fact. All of them?
Me:
You tell me, you're the divine one, I'm just a mortal.
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Would you like to know more?
Me:
God's a fan of Starship Troopers, excellent taste!
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
Genesis 17:01: And Spock said onto Jim, "I have been, and shall always be, your friend!"
God:
Can you think of one instance where it never happens?
Me:
Nope. They never fought.
God:
Me either. The anonymous "they".
Me:
Er, no, "they" are Spock and Jim.
God:
Are you serious? Spock and Jim are they.
Me:
God, you seem either drunk, stoned, or high on something.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am either drunk stoned or high on something.
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Are you high O'Lord?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am high O Lord.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
Dear You, you're high!
God:
Are all Dear me me high?
Me:
You're either stoned or just an idiot. Explains most of our race though. And the animals! You HAD to be high when you created the platypus. Beacer's tail, duck's bill, a mammal, and it lays eggs!
(At which point God either crashed his Divine Mac, or went all spaced out and trippy, forgetting the thing existed.)
Go be blasphemous and talk to iGod