Pity is Ignorance to the Positive
So, I see I haven't written in a very long time. I'm still working at Little Caesar's. I feel like I do pretty well just as long as I stay focused. I forget some relatively unimportant things here and there sometimes, but most of the time I feel like I'm a valuable player in keeping the house efficient. Still not tired of my job, either. I enjoy cutting a hot pizza getting some of the hot grease on my fingers and whining about it. Heh. Doing things faster than the high-end people expect me to do them is also amusing.
Besides work, though, life is pretty dull. Communication is strange and barely inspiring, to say the most. I don't think I'm in depression, but there's a real slump right now. I want a relationship so I can have someone to focus on other than myself. Maybe even better understand who I want to be... I don't know. That topic is always up in the air for me. Maybe I should just make good friends who will last. I don't know what's right. I feel more empty as I think about it... so maybe I'll drop it.
One thing that never changes is my overall interest in music. I continue pumping out new titles nearly daily. Experimenting here and there, not always seriously, but I try and get my keyboard playing time in as often as I can... which is actually kind of interesting right now, even. I want to reach the point where I can form deep, inspiring melodies off the top of my head, with variation which often includes a bass AND lead. So... I want to use both hands more often. I think I've innovated my ideas from composing on-screen to playing piano (and vice-versa) pretty well. That's important to my growth-- finding a natural feel to what comes out of me without thinking. I can reach a very peaceful state when I'm enjoying certain songs, and I want to further that by having a more natural flow of ideas and a true musician's outlet, rather than some mathematical and note tinking that develops ideas. I think I'm really getting there... but there's so much more to go.
*sigh* I need to get back in school and write for a better reason.
Besides work, though, life is pretty dull. Communication is strange and barely inspiring, to say the most. I don't think I'm in depression, but there's a real slump right now. I want a relationship so I can have someone to focus on other than myself. Maybe even better understand who I want to be... I don't know. That topic is always up in the air for me. Maybe I should just make good friends who will last. I don't know what's right. I feel more empty as I think about it... so maybe I'll drop it.
One thing that never changes is my overall interest in music. I continue pumping out new titles nearly daily. Experimenting here and there, not always seriously, but I try and get my keyboard playing time in as often as I can... which is actually kind of interesting right now, even. I want to reach the point where I can form deep, inspiring melodies off the top of my head, with variation which often includes a bass AND lead. So... I want to use both hands more often. I think I've innovated my ideas from composing on-screen to playing piano (and vice-versa) pretty well. That's important to my growth-- finding a natural feel to what comes out of me without thinking. I can reach a very peaceful state when I'm enjoying certain songs, and I want to further that by having a more natural flow of ideas and a true musician's outlet, rather than some mathematical and note tinking that develops ideas. I think I'm really getting there... but there's so much more to go.
*sigh* I need to get back in school and write for a better reason.