(no subject)
"Alma. Alma, pick up the phone. Almie, it's Bert, pick UP already. I know you're there! I can feel magical vibes across the phone line that TELL ME that you're there. Seriously. It's sort of like Spidey senses. I'm all Spider-man and it's like, 'My SPIDEY SENSES are tingling!' You hear that, Almie? My Spidey senses. Know. That you're at home when I'm at my apartment trying to call you on the phone yet YOU ARE NOT PICKING UP and this makes me very very sad. Almie, I could be in grave danger right now and you wouldn't even know because you're not picking up! Maybe you won't see me on Monday! Or maybe you will, but I'll be in vampire form. Jesus, wouldn't I be hot as a vampire? Do I dazzle you? Seriously, Almie, you should be picking up right about---"
Click.
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
"I think your machine must have given out or something. It couldn't handle my sexy vampire voice. Anyway, I think you should be answering your phone right about now because I KNOW you're--- wait you said you were gonna be at the symphony tonight, didn't you. Whoopsies! Oh well. Call me when you're home because I have CRITICALLY IMPORTANT NEWS, OKAY? I won't be able to sleep if you don't call me. Seriously. That's a demand."
Click.
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
"Hi! Uh. That was Bert, by the way. Just thought you should know. Oh, and this is Bert right now! All right. Call me!"
----
“Hello Bert.”
“ALMIE! You called!”
“Yes, I called. It’s very late and I’m very tired. What do you want?”
“Okay so this is CRITICALLY IMPORTANT. Do you remember that time when we went to Lucille’s for chocolate chip pancakes and mango pineapple smoothies?”
“Bert, we never did that.”
“Yes we did. Tomorrow. Meet me there at nine-thirty, all right? Day off! It’s a snow day - school already called me and everything. We’re all set.”
“Bert, I have a husband.”
“So, you can’t eat with one of your colleagues?”
There was a short pause, and then:
“Fine. I’ll meet you there. It’s late. Go to sleep.”
Click.
--
Alma didn’t exactly know why she was meeting him here for breakfast, of all things. She was fifteen minutes late because she had been waiting for Gus to leave for a meeting for work.
She wasn’t sneaking out. She was absolutely SURE - she was not sneaking out. Alma just liked to send Gus off. Right.
When she spotted him at the restaurant, already sitting in a little booth as he waited for her with both of their smoothies already made, Alma couldn’t help but roll her eyes with a little smile. He was so endearing, and it made her all fluttery and the fact that that happened made her sort of annoyed. Therefore, Bert was extremely annoying.
It was a breakfast. They talked about pointless little things - classes, student gossip, how Bert was going to turn into a zombie… the usual. The unusual part was that Alma was all giggly the entire time, not even complaining how childish it was that they ordered chocolate chip pancakes, perhaps the worst breakfast food one could possibly eat. (Or, in Bert’s opinion - the best breakfast food, especially on a snow day.)
What didn’t help was when they were paying their bill, and Bert leaned over for a quick kiss that she had surprisingly returned. Alma wasn’t sure what was going on, but she sort of liked it.
What she didn’t like was when she looked over and saw Gus eating breakfast with his secretary, who looked very much as if she were not in business attire. This wasn’t a business deal. This definitely wasn’t something for the orchestra.
She tried to hide her disappointment, never telling Bert what was wrong and never mentioning it to Gus.
"Almie, I think I'm turning into a zombie."
Click.
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
"I think your machine must have given out or something. It couldn't handle my sexy vampire voice. Anyway, I think you should be answering your phone right about now because I KNOW you're--- wait you said you were gonna be at the symphony tonight, didn't you. Whoopsies! Oh well. Call me when you're home because I have CRITICALLY IMPORTANT NEWS, OKAY? I won't be able to sleep if you don't call me. Seriously. That's a demand."
Click.
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
"Hi! Uh. That was Bert, by the way. Just thought you should know. Oh, and this is Bert right now! All right. Call me!"
----
“Hello Bert.”
“ALMIE! You called!”
“Yes, I called. It’s very late and I’m very tired. What do you want?”
“Okay so this is CRITICALLY IMPORTANT. Do you remember that time when we went to Lucille’s for chocolate chip pancakes and mango pineapple smoothies?”
“Bert, we never did that.”
“Yes we did. Tomorrow. Meet me there at nine-thirty, all right? Day off! It’s a snow day - school already called me and everything. We’re all set.”
“Bert, I have a husband.”
“So, you can’t eat with one of your colleagues?”
There was a short pause, and then:
“Fine. I’ll meet you there. It’s late. Go to sleep.”
Click.
--
Alma didn’t exactly know why she was meeting him here for breakfast, of all things. She was fifteen minutes late because she had been waiting for Gus to leave for a meeting for work.
She wasn’t sneaking out. She was absolutely SURE - she was not sneaking out. Alma just liked to send Gus off. Right.
When she spotted him at the restaurant, already sitting in a little booth as he waited for her with both of their smoothies already made, Alma couldn’t help but roll her eyes with a little smile. He was so endearing, and it made her all fluttery and the fact that that happened made her sort of annoyed. Therefore, Bert was extremely annoying.
It was a breakfast. They talked about pointless little things - classes, student gossip, how Bert was going to turn into a zombie… the usual. The unusual part was that Alma was all giggly the entire time, not even complaining how childish it was that they ordered chocolate chip pancakes, perhaps the worst breakfast food one could possibly eat. (Or, in Bert’s opinion - the best breakfast food, especially on a snow day.)
What didn’t help was when they were paying their bill, and Bert leaned over for a quick kiss that she had surprisingly returned. Alma wasn’t sure what was going on, but she sort of liked it.
What she didn’t like was when she looked over and saw Gus eating breakfast with his secretary, who looked very much as if she were not in business attire. This wasn’t a business deal. This definitely wasn’t something for the orchestra.
She tried to hide her disappointment, never telling Bert what was wrong and never mentioning it to Gus.
"Almie, I think I'm turning into a zombie."