bored now
I wish school would hurry up and start. I've been bored long enough to start being overly irrational, and I don't wanna. Well, maybe one of the potential job prospects will pan out and I'll be among the gainfully employed in the next couple of days. Rrr. Too bad there's nothing I particularly wish I was doing or becoming right now. The only thing worse than involuntary boredom is utterly passive boredom. At least when you're being forced to wait for something, you have that to look forward to. Right now, I'm kinda tired of forcing interest in various new activities, and I'm pretty much just waiting for something to catch my eye. I still enjoy hanging out with Jorge, even though we've started breaking the no-touchy rule. He's still like a feisty little kid. Though I wish he'd show more diverse interest in passtimes. There's only so many Monopoly games I can lose in a row and still want to play.
I have been seriously considering pursuing the chance of getting a girlfriend. But I'm just so inept. I've never up and decided I wanted a significant other before, I always just stumbled across them. I thought maybe I could meet more people if I tried on the net. Walking up to a cute girl and saying Hi, I like you, are you perhaps bi or gay? doesn't usually work on the statistically accessible crowd. But the whole internet profile thing is a bit of a farce. I want to fall in love with Tara, from Buffy. She is my dream girl, and possibly the only girl I'd out to my family for so I could marry her. But really, I think I'm limiting myself to being attracted to girls at the moment cause I know I'll have a nice pre-fabricated excuse not to commit. Plus, I don't really need another tick in the guy column right now. I'm way too emotionally unbalanced to risk getting emotionally involved with anyone. Jorge lectures me on it regularly. That if I'm going to be nice to the guys who ask me out, I should be willing to get involved. Either that or nip it completely in the bud and not drag anything out. Well, I'm doing my best balancing gentleness with honesty. It's a thin line.
My folks are leaving for Alaska in two days, they'll be gone a couple of weeks. I don't know if I'm happy about that or not. I've been wanting them to just leave me alone for a little while, so I can rattle about the house alone finally. It's just that the silence and the self-indulgence I usually steep myself in doesn't end up doing a whole lot of good for my mental state. Well, if nothing else, if I don't enjoy being by myself around here, it will help me stop resenting their presence once they get back.
I have been seriously considering pursuing the chance of getting a girlfriend. But I'm just so inept. I've never up and decided I wanted a significant other before, I always just stumbled across them. I thought maybe I could meet more people if I tried on the net. Walking up to a cute girl and saying Hi, I like you, are you perhaps bi or gay? doesn't usually work on the statistically accessible crowd. But the whole internet profile thing is a bit of a farce. I want to fall in love with Tara, from Buffy. She is my dream girl, and possibly the only girl I'd out to my family for so I could marry her. But really, I think I'm limiting myself to being attracted to girls at the moment cause I know I'll have a nice pre-fabricated excuse not to commit. Plus, I don't really need another tick in the guy column right now. I'm way too emotionally unbalanced to risk getting emotionally involved with anyone. Jorge lectures me on it regularly. That if I'm going to be nice to the guys who ask me out, I should be willing to get involved. Either that or nip it completely in the bud and not drag anything out. Well, I'm doing my best balancing gentleness with honesty. It's a thin line.
My folks are leaving for Alaska in two days, they'll be gone a couple of weeks. I don't know if I'm happy about that or not. I've been wanting them to just leave me alone for a little while, so I can rattle about the house alone finally. It's just that the silence and the self-indulgence I usually steep myself in doesn't end up doing a whole lot of good for my mental state. Well, if nothing else, if I don't enjoy being by myself around here, it will help me stop resenting their presence once they get back.