Twitter is frustrating when I actually want to express an opinion about something...
It's my posting day and this came up on the internet today, so I decided to write down some of my thoughts on it. Twitter is a useful tool, but 140 characters is not enough to have a meaningful discussion about any topic.
Basically, this guy, found this Kickstarter project and incited this petition to remove it. Incidentally, and quite bizarrely giving this whole issue an anime link, this is the guy in question.
The real problem here is that men like this think they're entitled to get laid and any trick they can perform to convince women to sleep with them is acceptable, as long as those women don't scream "no." For this reason I understand the disgust people are feeling over this issue, and I am in no way trying to be complicit in this creep's worldview. However, at the same time, advice that could potentially mislead readers into believing that forcing themselves on women completely against their will is not the same as telling them outright to rape them. It's not even suggesting that rape is okay. It is certainly suggesting that sexually harassing women is okay (which it isn't). It is certainly encouraging men to take dangerous risks with their own safety and, to be perfectly honest, freedom by engaging in less-than-gentlemanly and borderline illegal conduct, but it isn't telling them to continue when the woman says no. Nothing shown in any of the blurbs seems to indicate that these women have had their faculties removed under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, or that they are unable to give consent for any other reason (under-aged, mentally disabled).
It is disheartening that this entire tactic seems more drawn from a perception that "getting awesome with women" is the precipice of manliness, and that finding meaningful life fulfillment without tricks and douchey bullying is considered "pussyness." It is likewise worrying that any of the obvious losers looking for sex advice in this book might take "be dominant" and "don't wait for consent" to mean "do whatever you want regardless of what the woman says or does about it." Ultimately the greatest concern over this entire affair is that because of this book someone is going to get sexually assaulted, someone else is going to go to jail for sexual assault, and the completely careless Mr. Hoinsky is going to find himself sued over his bad advice.
So, in summary, this ill-conceived project is:
Condoning rape, no.
Encouraging sexual harassment, yes.
Potentially dangerous, yes.
He should probably rethink this thing before it goes to print, and we should all rethink how our society's values about sex and conquest lead people down paths to dark and disgusting places. Ultimately, I think my biggest disappointment here is that all too often this is the kind of relationship advice that is given to socially awkward men on the internet. We'd all be living in a much better world if these stories looked a lot more like this one.
Basically, this guy, found this Kickstarter project and incited this petition to remove it. Incidentally, and quite bizarrely giving this whole issue an anime link, this is the guy in question.
The real problem here is that men like this think they're entitled to get laid and any trick they can perform to convince women to sleep with them is acceptable, as long as those women don't scream "no." For this reason I understand the disgust people are feeling over this issue, and I am in no way trying to be complicit in this creep's worldview. However, at the same time, advice that could potentially mislead readers into believing that forcing themselves on women completely against their will is not the same as telling them outright to rape them. It's not even suggesting that rape is okay. It is certainly suggesting that sexually harassing women is okay (which it isn't). It is certainly encouraging men to take dangerous risks with their own safety and, to be perfectly honest, freedom by engaging in less-than-gentlemanly and borderline illegal conduct, but it isn't telling them to continue when the woman says no. Nothing shown in any of the blurbs seems to indicate that these women have had their faculties removed under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, or that they are unable to give consent for any other reason (under-aged, mentally disabled).
It is disheartening that this entire tactic seems more drawn from a perception that "getting awesome with women" is the precipice of manliness, and that finding meaningful life fulfillment without tricks and douchey bullying is considered "pussyness." It is likewise worrying that any of the obvious losers looking for sex advice in this book might take "be dominant" and "don't wait for consent" to mean "do whatever you want regardless of what the woman says or does about it." Ultimately the greatest concern over this entire affair is that because of this book someone is going to get sexually assaulted, someone else is going to go to jail for sexual assault, and the completely careless Mr. Hoinsky is going to find himself sued over his bad advice.
So, in summary, this ill-conceived project is:
Condoning rape, no.
Encouraging sexual harassment, yes.
Potentially dangerous, yes.
He should probably rethink this thing before it goes to print, and we should all rethink how our society's values about sex and conquest lead people down paths to dark and disgusting places. Ultimately, I think my biggest disappointment here is that all too often this is the kind of relationship advice that is given to socially awkward men on the internet. We'd all be living in a much better world if these stories looked a lot more like this one.