Hello, again
It has been exactly three months since my last Live Journal post. It seems I always come back here to leave my most personal feelings. So what has happened in the last three months? I graduated, said goodbye to a lot of friends, made a lot of new friends, cleaned my room about 12 times, went to shows, watched movies...did more summer stuff. I don't know. I'll talk about that later.
My family has been having money problems. My brother blows as much money as he makes. My mom barely makes enough to pay the bills. My dad has been borrowing money from my brother and myself. My dad borrowed all my graduation money. He came by today to borrow more money from my brother, but he used most of his money on his birthday party, so he only had $160 left in his bank account. My dad borrowed $100. It's not like I don't believe my dad will pay us back. He always has.
He came by and my brother went to the bank to pull out money and while he was gone, my dad started talking about my future. He apologized for not being able to make enough to support us. I told him not to apologize because he already works a couple of jobs. I regret now more than ever not working at the fair. As much as I hated the fair, I obviously need the money. I figured starting in fall with a work study program and the secretarial job I got would be enough, but now I don't know anymore. The more I think about it, the more my head begins to hurt. Fall semester starts before I start my morning job, so I don't know how the hell I'm going to be able to pay for books. I'm hoping financial aid will help a lot.
My dad brought up transfer schools. I told him about how a lot of the places I want universities I'm considering are private and very expensive and he told me he wanted me to transfer to a UC to save money. He told me that he wanted me to become an accountant or an auditor because they make loads of money. After that, I wanted to cry. Not in a stubborn brat kind of way, but my dad has always been the one that backed me up. He was always the one (usually the only one) adult that told me to do what I love, to go where I want, no matter how much money I make or spend because money's not important.
More than anything else in the world, I want my regular dad back. The man who lived off every penny he made and didn't care to keep a penny more. It was never about being wealthy for my dad. It was just being to get by and keeping those he loved happy. Now I'm going to work harder to make my dad happy.
My family has been having money problems. My brother blows as much money as he makes. My mom barely makes enough to pay the bills. My dad has been borrowing money from my brother and myself. My dad borrowed all my graduation money. He came by today to borrow more money from my brother, but he used most of his money on his birthday party, so he only had $160 left in his bank account. My dad borrowed $100. It's not like I don't believe my dad will pay us back. He always has.
He came by and my brother went to the bank to pull out money and while he was gone, my dad started talking about my future. He apologized for not being able to make enough to support us. I told him not to apologize because he already works a couple of jobs. I regret now more than ever not working at the fair. As much as I hated the fair, I obviously need the money. I figured starting in fall with a work study program and the secretarial job I got would be enough, but now I don't know anymore. The more I think about it, the more my head begins to hurt. Fall semester starts before I start my morning job, so I don't know how the hell I'm going to be able to pay for books. I'm hoping financial aid will help a lot.
My dad brought up transfer schools. I told him about how a lot of the places I want universities I'm considering are private and very expensive and he told me he wanted me to transfer to a UC to save money. He told me that he wanted me to become an accountant or an auditor because they make loads of money. After that, I wanted to cry. Not in a stubborn brat kind of way, but my dad has always been the one that backed me up. He was always the one (usually the only one) adult that told me to do what I love, to go where I want, no matter how much money I make or spend because money's not important.
More than anything else in the world, I want my regular dad back. The man who lived off every penny he made and didn't care to keep a penny more. It was never about being wealthy for my dad. It was just being to get by and keeping those he loved happy. Now I'm going to work harder to make my dad happy.