I have an announcement to make
I was searching to find a way to say what I must say without offending anyone or hurting any of my friends. The last thing on earth I want to do right now is to lose friends, but I feel I must be honest with myself and everyone else now.
Here is my problem, pure and simple. I'm starting to 'burn out' as far as writing fan fiction is concerned. There are many factors that have contributed to my 'condition'. One is the vast number of 'joint' fics I've been working on with others. At first, long ago, I would get a request once in a while to work on a story together, and that was fine. But now I've received at least a half dozen joint/incomplete stories that were started as RP's. Seriously folks, I am SO confused right now I'm finding it hard to keep up with the storylines or characters anymore. I don't fault anyone for this, I'm very flattered that folks think enough of me to want to include me in their storywriting process. However, the situation has just gotten out of hand. Last summer, Cobber tried to warn me about this, he could see me 'burning out' when I was in denial. Cobber my friend, you were right. I should've taken your advice then.
Part of what I liked about writing was the ability to express myself, to create my own little world where I could simply daydream and write what I saw. I so enjoyed coming up with my own ideas and pursuing them. However, in the past six months, it seems that the only ideas I've been working on are other folk's ideas. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate all those story suggestions, I really do. The problem is, I feel like when someone 'hands me' an idea that I am now obligated to write that story for them. This has also contributed to my present mental state of 'blah' when it comes to fanfic writing.
I don't mind the ideas as much as I mind the constant online 'role playing' I've been doing (or in some instances, been forced to do). I love chatting with people online, individually and in group chats. But lately, everytime I go online, I get MSN windows popping up all over my desktop. At one time last month, I was attempting to chat in eight windows at one time. Bottom line is, I just can't do that anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy chatting with my friends, but it's getting to the place when everytime I log in, up pop a half a dozen windows and half of those folks want to RP. Sorry folks, I just can't do that anymore. I don't mind doing some limited RPing like when Inspector Zima will say something crazy or CD will dance and shake the room up, but doing multiple characters in multiple chats has worn my imagination out, PERIOD.
Truthfully folks, I have thought about leaving the fandom altogether. No, this isn't one of those 'attention getting' or 'feel sorry for me' episodes, Now I can truly understand how Kylen, Kali, Star, Cobber and other RR vets felt when they made their decisions to leave the fandom behind. The main reason I'd write fanfics was to have fun and relax. Now it's no longer fun or relaxing. For me at this moment, writing stories or RPing is like pulling teeth. Fanfics have changed from an escape from my stress to the main source OF my stress.
I don't know what to do now. Many of you like my stories, and I truly appreciate that fact. I would like to continue writing, continue chatting and learn to like it again. At this point, I'm not sure if I can do that or not.
Again, I hope no one misunderstands me. I deeply appreciate the fact that my stories have a 'following' and I'm very gratiful for all the people online who have befriended me. I just can't live in denial anymore, I had to let y'all know how I feel.
Thank you for your time
Computer Dinosaur
Here is my problem, pure and simple. I'm starting to 'burn out' as far as writing fan fiction is concerned. There are many factors that have contributed to my 'condition'. One is the vast number of 'joint' fics I've been working on with others. At first, long ago, I would get a request once in a while to work on a story together, and that was fine. But now I've received at least a half dozen joint/incomplete stories that were started as RP's. Seriously folks, I am SO confused right now I'm finding it hard to keep up with the storylines or characters anymore. I don't fault anyone for this, I'm very flattered that folks think enough of me to want to include me in their storywriting process. However, the situation has just gotten out of hand. Last summer, Cobber tried to warn me about this, he could see me 'burning out' when I was in denial. Cobber my friend, you were right. I should've taken your advice then.
Part of what I liked about writing was the ability to express myself, to create my own little world where I could simply daydream and write what I saw. I so enjoyed coming up with my own ideas and pursuing them. However, in the past six months, it seems that the only ideas I've been working on are other folk's ideas. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate all those story suggestions, I really do. The problem is, I feel like when someone 'hands me' an idea that I am now obligated to write that story for them. This has also contributed to my present mental state of 'blah' when it comes to fanfic writing.
I don't mind the ideas as much as I mind the constant online 'role playing' I've been doing (or in some instances, been forced to do). I love chatting with people online, individually and in group chats. But lately, everytime I go online, I get MSN windows popping up all over my desktop. At one time last month, I was attempting to chat in eight windows at one time. Bottom line is, I just can't do that anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy chatting with my friends, but it's getting to the place when everytime I log in, up pop a half a dozen windows and half of those folks want to RP. Sorry folks, I just can't do that anymore. I don't mind doing some limited RPing like when Inspector Zima will say something crazy or CD will dance and shake the room up, but doing multiple characters in multiple chats has worn my imagination out, PERIOD.
Truthfully folks, I have thought about leaving the fandom altogether. No, this isn't one of those 'attention getting' or 'feel sorry for me' episodes, Now I can truly understand how Kylen, Kali, Star, Cobber and other RR vets felt when they made their decisions to leave the fandom behind. The main reason I'd write fanfics was to have fun and relax. Now it's no longer fun or relaxing. For me at this moment, writing stories or RPing is like pulling teeth. Fanfics have changed from an escape from my stress to the main source OF my stress.
I don't know what to do now. Many of you like my stories, and I truly appreciate that fact. I would like to continue writing, continue chatting and learn to like it again. At this point, I'm not sure if I can do that or not.
Again, I hope no one misunderstands me. I deeply appreciate the fact that my stories have a 'following' and I'm very gratiful for all the people online who have befriended me. I just can't live in denial anymore, I had to let y'all know how I feel.
Thank you for your time
Computer Dinosaur