(no subject)
trying to find something to do to occupy my thoughts and mind and emtotions and feelings! so how are all of you in livejournal land> i havent really written in here or my old journal in a long time. why? i dont really know - there are more reasons that would come to mind anyway. there comes a time when i doubt myself i think we all doubt ourselves at some point. i am going through that a little bit right now. i made a decision and i followed through with it and now i am dealing with it. i dont regret it but i want they shit that doesnt make me feel good to not be true. is that so wrong to want? i dont know maybe i have already said too much and maybe i havent said enough. anyway, i am too the point where i dont want things to affect me that i come to a standstill. i cant do that anymore even if all this shit is hurting me inside. when i am going through this kinda stuff i always wanna call this one person. funny something was brought up to me today - my boss said to me that some said it takes 27 years of loving someone to trully love them. then another some said that it takes 12 years. well in that case i have loved someone for a good seven years i think. funny how that is. i always think about them too. funny.
i have a vision and i have a dream. and maybe and most definetly because i am a pisces. wishy washy and caring. its interesting that that is how my compound comes up because of when and where i was born and my lame ass rising sign is leo so doomed to begin with. but i like the way that i am all tears and all sometimes. i really do love the way i am because i know that no one else is me. as lonely as it does feel at times and more often then not lately. am i babbling> i dont think i really care if i am one way or another.
so i got a new job and im in transition mode. im working as a receptionist at a massage business called hands in motion. its pretty cool but it is taking some getting used to. see im used to this fast drug kinda filled world and i dont know if i really wanna be in it right now. thats just something to think about. im getting used to it but i dont know something doesnt feel good about it or it feels good and i just need to let go of something else. i cant help it. i caught myself dreaming again just now.
i have been creating really great friendships lately too. to the people that i havent really considered close they are really serving to be closer to me. conversations and real outlooks and how i think and how they think as well. about many many things. i like that. it is making me feel connected in a time where i feel alone more so then anything. so i think i will leave you now - gave a great day i hope - for i will always hope the best for all of you - my problem rests in myself.
i have a vision and i have a dream. and maybe and most definetly because i am a pisces. wishy washy and caring. its interesting that that is how my compound comes up because of when and where i was born and my lame ass rising sign is leo so doomed to begin with. but i like the way that i am all tears and all sometimes. i really do love the way i am because i know that no one else is me. as lonely as it does feel at times and more often then not lately. am i babbling> i dont think i really care if i am one way or another.
so i got a new job and im in transition mode. im working as a receptionist at a massage business called hands in motion. its pretty cool but it is taking some getting used to. see im used to this fast drug kinda filled world and i dont know if i really wanna be in it right now. thats just something to think about. im getting used to it but i dont know something doesnt feel good about it or it feels good and i just need to let go of something else. i cant help it. i caught myself dreaming again just now.
i have been creating really great friendships lately too. to the people that i havent really considered close they are really serving to be closer to me. conversations and real outlooks and how i think and how they think as well. about many many things. i like that. it is making me feel connected in a time where i feel alone more so then anything. so i think i will leave you now - gave a great day i hope - for i will always hope the best for all of you - my problem rests in myself.