i'm supposed to be at church now. you shouldn't read this, chip
i should be doing productive, necessary things. homework, laundry, showering. i think i caught up on sleep, at least.
i was not productive yesterday, either. i came home, tried to find people, showered, laid on the couch until work. worked. left early. came home. ate when i wasn't hungry. talked. and because dan is such a good guy, he came over at 10, picked me up and took me to the studio. he was showing me this gorgeous, perfect large..bowl? he had made..and it was really cool. he had even stamped/carved a dragonfly onto the bottom. and we were sitting and he was carving on the bottom and he told me to read it. "happy birthday whitney". we went to get a movie and ice cream wasn't open, so we went to his house and ate nilla wafers. and put on the movie and he let me sleep. and then he drove me home. he is so good to me.
i think by last night i was so deliriously tired that i didn't feel it. now i am awake and it is back. it has returned with a vengeance. it's weird to think that some of them have absolutely no idea that anything is going on at all. and when it doesn't hurt like right now, i don't feel. i don't know which is worse. no motivation to do anything. have to walk merlin cuz he's been patient. (it is beautiful outside and my brother is here. i think both make it worse)
how is this better? i hope it's better for you. i hope so, honestly. for me..i don't think it will even be better in the end. and it certainly is not now.
i was not productive yesterday, either. i came home, tried to find people, showered, laid on the couch until work. worked. left early. came home. ate when i wasn't hungry. talked. and because dan is such a good guy, he came over at 10, picked me up and took me to the studio. he was showing me this gorgeous, perfect large..bowl? he had made..and it was really cool. he had even stamped/carved a dragonfly onto the bottom. and we were sitting and he was carving on the bottom and he told me to read it. "happy birthday whitney". we went to get a movie and ice cream wasn't open, so we went to his house and ate nilla wafers. and put on the movie and he let me sleep. and then he drove me home. he is so good to me.
i think by last night i was so deliriously tired that i didn't feel it. now i am awake and it is back. it has returned with a vengeance. it's weird to think that some of them have absolutely no idea that anything is going on at all. and when it doesn't hurt like right now, i don't feel. i don't know which is worse. no motivation to do anything. have to walk merlin cuz he's been patient. (it is beautiful outside and my brother is here. i think both make it worse)
how is this better? i hope it's better for you. i hope so, honestly. for me..i don't think it will even be better in the end. and it certainly is not now.