(no subject)
Been sick for a week and a half now, but it's only getting worse.
This makes work especially difficult because by not being there I'm causing someone grief
and by being there I'm causing someone grief.
At work I have to wear a mask for 8.25 hours, and with such heavy lungs it's
hard to breathe.
Then the usual haul, plus now dinner volunteers aren't showing up so 'magic fingers make
some lasagna!' while doing a million other tasks like the piles of soiled laundry that's been
sitting around due to technology failure or cleaning up old old dog incontinence in the halls.
(by the way, I hate the dogs! They sit in the middle of the hall and let people trip over them-
people who have enough mobility issues.
I've spilled food and medication alike because of these annoying beasts parking their rumps in
strange areas.
On top of that, I have to whip up a special mixture for THEIR diets and feed them THEIR medication.
I end up more times than not groveling on my knees with a tuna-pill mixture in my hands
just hoping they'll take the bait.)
#2 is on a blenderized diet and takes forever to feed. He can't talk so I never
know what he needs until it's right in my face (never uses the call light or the talk board)
plus he's dying and extremely bipolar so goes through the grief stages of rage and sadness
interchangeably and mute. Impossible to comfort until MTV lulls him to sleep.
#4 is sneaking drugs in all the time so busting him is lucky if it happens at all,
#1 is becoming more suicidal again to the point where I have to put can lids in secret places.
He comes home drunk every night now and sleeps all day. Wants to start using again.
#3 everyone is suddenly afraid of because her schizophrenia is getting worse.
She's going to remedial school for adults and comes home late for insulin, drenched in urine,
shoes filled with feces (no exaggeration- and these must be washed by hand)
forgetting homework and talking about rape in Indiana and the black people in her cake who will give her
heaven wings etc.
I love work, but it's a lot right now with this aching body and no voice.
A lot for minimum wage.
I answer the phone in a whisper. It makes me feel useless and weak.
I want people to put faith in me, but right now people just pity me
and I become 'The Burden' of the group.
All that have been sick are now well and I don't feel recovery coming an inch.
This makes work especially difficult because by not being there I'm causing someone grief
and by being there I'm causing someone grief.
At work I have to wear a mask for 8.25 hours, and with such heavy lungs it's
hard to breathe.
Then the usual haul, plus now dinner volunteers aren't showing up so 'magic fingers make
some lasagna!' while doing a million other tasks like the piles of soiled laundry that's been
sitting around due to technology failure or cleaning up old old dog incontinence in the halls.
(by the way, I hate the dogs! They sit in the middle of the hall and let people trip over them-
people who have enough mobility issues.
I've spilled food and medication alike because of these annoying beasts parking their rumps in
strange areas.
On top of that, I have to whip up a special mixture for THEIR diets and feed them THEIR medication.
I end up more times than not groveling on my knees with a tuna-pill mixture in my hands
just hoping they'll take the bait.)
#2 is on a blenderized diet and takes forever to feed. He can't talk so I never
know what he needs until it's right in my face (never uses the call light or the talk board)
plus he's dying and extremely bipolar so goes through the grief stages of rage and sadness
interchangeably and mute. Impossible to comfort until MTV lulls him to sleep.
#4 is sneaking drugs in all the time so busting him is lucky if it happens at all,
#1 is becoming more suicidal again to the point where I have to put can lids in secret places.
He comes home drunk every night now and sleeps all day. Wants to start using again.
#3 everyone is suddenly afraid of because her schizophrenia is getting worse.
She's going to remedial school for adults and comes home late for insulin, drenched in urine,
shoes filled with feces (no exaggeration- and these must be washed by hand)
forgetting homework and talking about rape in Indiana and the black people in her cake who will give her
heaven wings etc.
I love work, but it's a lot right now with this aching body and no voice.
A lot for minimum wage.
I answer the phone in a whisper. It makes me feel useless and weak.
I want people to put faith in me, but right now people just pity me
and I become 'The Burden' of the group.
All that have been sick are now well and I don't feel recovery coming an inch.