Fic: Group Therapy 1/2
Title: Group Therapy
Chapter: 1 of 2
Pairings: Jeff/Annie (eventually). Maybe teensy bits of... pretty much every other ship. Annie/Troy, Jeff/Britta, Shirley/Pierce, Troy/Britta, Abed/Troy, Abed/Britta
Spoilers: Everything up to English as a Second Language
Rating: PGish
Word Count: 1598
Disclaimers: All you characters are belonging to Harmon.
Summary: When the gang's fighting gets to be too much, the Dean forces them into a group therapy session where A LOT is revealed.
The study group’s altercations had grown more aggressive and even violent in the weeks after the paintball game from hell. The whole ordeal had brought to the surface all kinds of tensions and resentments that had been boiling beneath the surface for months, just waiting for a gentle nudge to flow over the top. And the paintball game had been that nudge. More than a nudge, really. It was like the three strongest men in the world pushing at the same time.
They’d been smart enough to keep their tiffs in the library’s study room so as not to draw attention to the fact that they may have very well been falling apart at the seams.
Until they weren’t smart enough anymore.
They were fighting in the quad.
Loudly.
There was also some throwing of objects and hitting with backpacks.
People were starting to gather to watch the whole thing go down.
“You have to stop trying to baptize me!” Annie screamed at Shirley. “It’s gotten to the point that I’m afraid to even walk by a drinking fountain when I’m with you!”
“Is it so wrong that I’m trying to save your soul from Satan and bring you into the loving arms of the Lord?” Shirley countered.
“It is when you’re doing it by sneak attack!”
“I will secure your place in heaven, Edison,” Shirley threatened in her “head-through-a-jukebox” voice.
“You’ll have to drown me first,” Annie said, getting into Shirley’s face.
While that was going on…
Troy had lost patience and was no longer trying to calmly explain to Pierce why his comments were offensive.
“You have to stop telling people I’m your little brown friend!” he screamed at the bewildered older man.
“But it’s true!” Pierce said, truly not understanding why Troy was so upset.
“I’m not little!” Troy was on the verge of tears.
A few feet away…
Jeff and Britta were arguing. Again. About something nobody else could even try to care about. Possibly about who was the bigger buzz kill.
The answer, at that moment in time, was both of them.
Abed watched passively from the sidelines, fascinated by the change in the group dynamic, but terrified that this would bring an end to the group.
He was far too scared to even jump in. He didn’t mean to wonder aloud, “Surely there will have to be a moment at the end when we all come together again.”
Then they all turned on him.
“Do you ever not say everything that pops into your head?” Britta snapped.
“We’re your friends, not the cast of some mediocre comedy from the ‘80s,” Jeff spat out.
“Why can’t you talk to us like you’re a normal person?” Annie’s voice was shrill and loud.
“It’s almost summer. Why are you still wearing sweatshirts?” Pierce asked, his voice laced with disdain.
“Well this is an odd twist,” Abed mused.
The group fumed, and Annie made a move to throw her Spanish book at him.
Thankfully for Abed’s face, Dean Pelton stepped in at that moment.
“Whoa, okay! That is quite enough!”
Her fear of expulsion far outweighing her sudden and passionate need to hurt Abed’s face, Annie dropped the arm holding the book to her side.
“We’re just having a small argument,” Shirley said.
“Jeff’s face is bleeding!” the Dean exclaimed in horror.
Jeff brought his hand to his, his eyes widening. He found, just above his eyebrow, a small cut that was letting out a startling amount of blood (he guessed). He wasn’t sure how it happened. It may have been the Media Studies text book Annie threw at his head after he accused her of using her boobs against him when her tears stopped working. Or maybe it came from Britta hitting him with her Discman after he “uh-duh”ed her.
“This fighting has got to stop,” the Dean began once everyone dropped their battle stances. “When people were complaining about the screaming coming from the study room we let it slide. We thought that maybe it helped you learn. But now you’re dragging it into the streets, and you’re beating up on each other and yelling. This needs to come to an end.”
Nobody was quite sure what the Dean meant, but Annie’s eyes filled with tears. “Are you expelling us?”
“No, of course not. But this can’t continue like this. Something needs to be done.”
Seven faces stared back at him dumbly. “Report to the study room tonight at 7:00.”
“For what?” Britta asked.
“Group therapy.”
===
Jeff wasn’t happy to discover he was the first one to arrive at the study room later that night.
He was even less happy to discover Dr. Ian Duncan there.
“Good evening, Jeffrey!” Ian said, smiling widely.
Jeff sat down in his seat warily. “So you’re our therapist then?”
Ian looked offended. “Psychiatrist, Jeffrey, please. And yes, of course. I’m the only one on staff here.”
“You don’t think there may be some kind of conflict of interest?” Jeff asked. “Considering you and I have a personal relationship. Not to mention you still hate Annie for destroying the Duncan principle, and you still have a thing for Britta.”
“Jeffrey, I’m offended. I’m a professional.”
Dr. Duncan then proved how much of a professional he was by practically falling all over himself when Britta walked in the door.
“Miss Perry!” he said, his voice unnaturally high pitched. “It’s so nice to see you again. There’s a seat right here. By me. You should… sit in it.”
Britta eyed the chair next to Dr. Duncan, torn between not wanting to sit by the guy who kind of creeped her out, and not wanting to appear to be a heartless bitch. Jeff noticed Britta’s dilemma and groaned loudly.
“Britta, this is not another chance for you to show how compassionate you are. He wants to get into your pants, and that’s creepy. You don’t need to sit by him because you feel sorry for him,” Jeff spat out.
His harsh words made Britta’s choice for her, but as she plopped down pointedly in the seat beside Dr. Duncan, she quickly began to regret it as he leered at her. Jeff shot her an “I told you so” smirk.
Troy and Abed walked in next, arguing about Abed’s next film.
“I just don’t understand why you have to play my love interest again,” Troy complained. “It made sense when we were the only people who wanted to be in your movies. But now all the girls in the Drama department are sending you muffin baskets to get a role!”
“That’s not the point,” Abed explained in his usual patient way. “It’s a commentary on the more masculine role women have taken on in relationships in the new century.”
Troy looked at him in confusion. “Are you saying that girls are starting to look more like guys?”
“Oh my god, really?” Britta burst out. Before she could continue, Dr. Duncan held up his hand.
“Hold on, now. We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Save the fighting for when everyone is here.”
“Fighting?” Jeff questioned. “Isn’t that what we got in trouble for?”
Dr. Duncan sputtered. “I didn’t say fighting, did? No, surely I… Therapy. ‘Therapy’ is the word I used.”
Pierce stumbled into the room next, sporting a t-shirt that read “Streets Ahead”.
Everyone held in their “Come on!”s and “Really?”s.
Finally, Annie and Shirley arrived. “So sorry to be late,” Shirley said with an edge to her voice. “I kindly offered to walk with Annie, but we had to stop at the book store when she discovered her notebooks weren’t college ruled.”
Annie’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped in indignation. “I told you to go on ahead. But you were all, ‘Oh, no sweetie. It’s fine.’ You told me to take my time.” Her eyes grew wider as she arrived at a conclusion in her head. “You did that intentionally! You’re just saving all these things in your ‘guilt bank’ so you can whip them out later on!”
Shirley looked downright offended, and she opened her mouth to defend herself when Dr. Duncan said, “Okay, now, I suppose we should get started!”
Annie and Shirley sat down, eyeing each other dangerously.
“Now, who can tell me when all this open hostility between all of you started?” Dr. Duncan asked.
Everyone shrugged and mumbled “I don’t know”s. Eventually, Abed raised his hand and said, “During the paintball game.”
Dr. Duncan nodded in a psychiatristy way. “Yes, yes. Now, who wants to know why that’s what brought all this hostility to the surface?”
“The situation allowed us to express our underlying tensions with physical violence. But once the game was over, we had no other way to express them but fighting,” Abed explained.
Dr. Duncan gaped at him for a brief moment before saying, “Ever heard of a rhetorical question? No? Do you want to come over here and do my job? Do you? Do you?”
Abed shook his head no. “He is correct, though,” Dr. Duncan admitted sheepishly.
“Great, we figured out why we’re fighting,” Jeff said. “Can we go now?”
“No, the point of this exercise isn’t to determine the catalyst for the fighting, but the reason for the fighting.”
“What’s the difference?” Annie asked. She was taking notes.
“There are issues under your issues. The arguments you’re having are actually brought about by even more underlying issues that you’re afraid to confront. That’s called the Duncan Theory,” he announced proudly.
The entire study group looked at each other nervously.
This was going to be a long and terrifying night.
TBC
Chapter: 1 of 2
Pairings: Jeff/Annie (eventually). Maybe teensy bits of... pretty much every other ship. Annie/Troy, Jeff/Britta, Shirley/Pierce, Troy/Britta, Abed/Troy, Abed/Britta
Spoilers: Everything up to English as a Second Language
Rating: PGish
Word Count: 1598
Disclaimers: All you characters are belonging to Harmon.
Summary: When the gang's fighting gets to be too much, the Dean forces them into a group therapy session where A LOT is revealed.
The study group’s altercations had grown more aggressive and even violent in the weeks after the paintball game from hell. The whole ordeal had brought to the surface all kinds of tensions and resentments that had been boiling beneath the surface for months, just waiting for a gentle nudge to flow over the top. And the paintball game had been that nudge. More than a nudge, really. It was like the three strongest men in the world pushing at the same time.
They’d been smart enough to keep their tiffs in the library’s study room so as not to draw attention to the fact that they may have very well been falling apart at the seams.
Until they weren’t smart enough anymore.
They were fighting in the quad.
Loudly.
There was also some throwing of objects and hitting with backpacks.
People were starting to gather to watch the whole thing go down.
“You have to stop trying to baptize me!” Annie screamed at Shirley. “It’s gotten to the point that I’m afraid to even walk by a drinking fountain when I’m with you!”
“Is it so wrong that I’m trying to save your soul from Satan and bring you into the loving arms of the Lord?” Shirley countered.
“It is when you’re doing it by sneak attack!”
“I will secure your place in heaven, Edison,” Shirley threatened in her “head-through-a-jukebox” voice.
“You’ll have to drown me first,” Annie said, getting into Shirley’s face.
While that was going on…
Troy had lost patience and was no longer trying to calmly explain to Pierce why his comments were offensive.
“You have to stop telling people I’m your little brown friend!” he screamed at the bewildered older man.
“But it’s true!” Pierce said, truly not understanding why Troy was so upset.
“I’m not little!” Troy was on the verge of tears.
A few feet away…
Jeff and Britta were arguing. Again. About something nobody else could even try to care about. Possibly about who was the bigger buzz kill.
The answer, at that moment in time, was both of them.
Abed watched passively from the sidelines, fascinated by the change in the group dynamic, but terrified that this would bring an end to the group.
He was far too scared to even jump in. He didn’t mean to wonder aloud, “Surely there will have to be a moment at the end when we all come together again.”
Then they all turned on him.
“Do you ever not say everything that pops into your head?” Britta snapped.
“We’re your friends, not the cast of some mediocre comedy from the ‘80s,” Jeff spat out.
“Why can’t you talk to us like you’re a normal person?” Annie’s voice was shrill and loud.
“It’s almost summer. Why are you still wearing sweatshirts?” Pierce asked, his voice laced with disdain.
“Well this is an odd twist,” Abed mused.
The group fumed, and Annie made a move to throw her Spanish book at him.
Thankfully for Abed’s face, Dean Pelton stepped in at that moment.
“Whoa, okay! That is quite enough!”
Her fear of expulsion far outweighing her sudden and passionate need to hurt Abed’s face, Annie dropped the arm holding the book to her side.
“We’re just having a small argument,” Shirley said.
“Jeff’s face is bleeding!” the Dean exclaimed in horror.
Jeff brought his hand to his, his eyes widening. He found, just above his eyebrow, a small cut that was letting out a startling amount of blood (he guessed). He wasn’t sure how it happened. It may have been the Media Studies text book Annie threw at his head after he accused her of using her boobs against him when her tears stopped working. Or maybe it came from Britta hitting him with her Discman after he “uh-duh”ed her.
“This fighting has got to stop,” the Dean began once everyone dropped their battle stances. “When people were complaining about the screaming coming from the study room we let it slide. We thought that maybe it helped you learn. But now you’re dragging it into the streets, and you’re beating up on each other and yelling. This needs to come to an end.”
Nobody was quite sure what the Dean meant, but Annie’s eyes filled with tears. “Are you expelling us?”
“No, of course not. But this can’t continue like this. Something needs to be done.”
Seven faces stared back at him dumbly. “Report to the study room tonight at 7:00.”
“For what?” Britta asked.
“Group therapy.”
===
Jeff wasn’t happy to discover he was the first one to arrive at the study room later that night.
He was even less happy to discover Dr. Ian Duncan there.
“Good evening, Jeffrey!” Ian said, smiling widely.
Jeff sat down in his seat warily. “So you’re our therapist then?”
Ian looked offended. “Psychiatrist, Jeffrey, please. And yes, of course. I’m the only one on staff here.”
“You don’t think there may be some kind of conflict of interest?” Jeff asked. “Considering you and I have a personal relationship. Not to mention you still hate Annie for destroying the Duncan principle, and you still have a thing for Britta.”
“Jeffrey, I’m offended. I’m a professional.”
Dr. Duncan then proved how much of a professional he was by practically falling all over himself when Britta walked in the door.
“Miss Perry!” he said, his voice unnaturally high pitched. “It’s so nice to see you again. There’s a seat right here. By me. You should… sit in it.”
Britta eyed the chair next to Dr. Duncan, torn between not wanting to sit by the guy who kind of creeped her out, and not wanting to appear to be a heartless bitch. Jeff noticed Britta’s dilemma and groaned loudly.
“Britta, this is not another chance for you to show how compassionate you are. He wants to get into your pants, and that’s creepy. You don’t need to sit by him because you feel sorry for him,” Jeff spat out.
His harsh words made Britta’s choice for her, but as she plopped down pointedly in the seat beside Dr. Duncan, she quickly began to regret it as he leered at her. Jeff shot her an “I told you so” smirk.
Troy and Abed walked in next, arguing about Abed’s next film.
“I just don’t understand why you have to play my love interest again,” Troy complained. “It made sense when we were the only people who wanted to be in your movies. But now all the girls in the Drama department are sending you muffin baskets to get a role!”
“That’s not the point,” Abed explained in his usual patient way. “It’s a commentary on the more masculine role women have taken on in relationships in the new century.”
Troy looked at him in confusion. “Are you saying that girls are starting to look more like guys?”
“Oh my god, really?” Britta burst out. Before she could continue, Dr. Duncan held up his hand.
“Hold on, now. We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Save the fighting for when everyone is here.”
“Fighting?” Jeff questioned. “Isn’t that what we got in trouble for?”
Dr. Duncan sputtered. “I didn’t say fighting, did? No, surely I… Therapy. ‘Therapy’ is the word I used.”
Pierce stumbled into the room next, sporting a t-shirt that read “Streets Ahead”.
Everyone held in their “Come on!”s and “Really?”s.
Finally, Annie and Shirley arrived. “So sorry to be late,” Shirley said with an edge to her voice. “I kindly offered to walk with Annie, but we had to stop at the book store when she discovered her notebooks weren’t college ruled.”
Annie’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped in indignation. “I told you to go on ahead. But you were all, ‘Oh, no sweetie. It’s fine.’ You told me to take my time.” Her eyes grew wider as she arrived at a conclusion in her head. “You did that intentionally! You’re just saving all these things in your ‘guilt bank’ so you can whip them out later on!”
Shirley looked downright offended, and she opened her mouth to defend herself when Dr. Duncan said, “Okay, now, I suppose we should get started!”
Annie and Shirley sat down, eyeing each other dangerously.
“Now, who can tell me when all this open hostility between all of you started?” Dr. Duncan asked.
Everyone shrugged and mumbled “I don’t know”s. Eventually, Abed raised his hand and said, “During the paintball game.”
Dr. Duncan nodded in a psychiatristy way. “Yes, yes. Now, who wants to know why that’s what brought all this hostility to the surface?”
“The situation allowed us to express our underlying tensions with physical violence. But once the game was over, we had no other way to express them but fighting,” Abed explained.
Dr. Duncan gaped at him for a brief moment before saying, “Ever heard of a rhetorical question? No? Do you want to come over here and do my job? Do you? Do you?”
Abed shook his head no. “He is correct, though,” Dr. Duncan admitted sheepishly.
“Great, we figured out why we’re fighting,” Jeff said. “Can we go now?”
“No, the point of this exercise isn’t to determine the catalyst for the fighting, but the reason for the fighting.”
“What’s the difference?” Annie asked. She was taking notes.
“There are issues under your issues. The arguments you’re having are actually brought about by even more underlying issues that you’re afraid to confront. That’s called the Duncan Theory,” he announced proudly.
The entire study group looked at each other nervously.
This was going to be a long and terrifying night.
TBC