HANNAH ABBOTT: 25 December 1996
Dear Mum,
I knew it! I knew you’d get my letter, I just knew it. I don’t want to know how, or why, you did what you did, but I know you’re alright and that’s all that matters.
I told Justin that I loved him. But guess what - he said it first! Oh, Mum, it was wonderful… he gave me this gorgeously wrapped present, and it was a photo album with tons of pictures of me and all my friends and everyone I know… and there was a picture of me, Justin, Susan and Ernie on the first page, all smiling and waving, and I thought it was just so lovely, such a thoughtful gift. I jumped up and down and hugged him and thanked him, and I wanted to sit and look through it for a while, but then he produced another present, and I when I opened it, I was lost for words. He got me a new camera! A gorgeous, brand-new, shiny camera! I didn’t even cry, I just leapt on him and started squealing like a lunatic. I think he was a bit shocked by that… I’m not surprised, I was making really weird noises Then I gave him his present - by then I was feeling kind of silly, because his present was so expensive compared to mine. When he opened it and read the little note I’d put on the front page, he went all quiet for a while. I thought he was disappointed or angry - when he looked up, after what seemed like ages, he was really pale, like he was going to throw up. I started to babble like an idiot and apologise, because I was all worried, and then he said something, but I didn’t hear what it was because I was talking so fast, and then he said it again and I thought he said “I love you,” but I wasn’t sure, so I stopped talking. Then he said it again and finally I heard him. Then I really did start crying, and I think he thought I was disappointed or upset so he started to babble and apologised, but then I said I loved him and he started to laugh and cry a little, it was so sweet and we kissed and it was all okay. No, it was incredible! I kind of forgot to give him his chocolate frogs, actually. We just sat in front of the fire in the common room for ages, cuddling, and then we had to go down for dinner… I couldn’t stop smiling.
I spoke to Dad earlier and told him about you. He said he‘d heard from you, though he didn‘t say how. Even though he still looks really ill, I think he feels a bit more at peace. He actually smiled.
Oh Mum, I love you so much. I wish you could be here to feel my happiness. I wish I could go back in time, I wish I could hug you and say goodbye properly… I think I’m going to spend the rest of my life, however long that is, wishing that things could have gone differently, but I think that I might be ready to let you go. I’ll never stop thinking about you, Mum, but I’m going to move on, for you, and for Dad. I‘ve got to go and have supper with Ernie, Susan and Justin now, but I needed to write this. I’ll always love you, Mum.
Merry Christmas!
I knew it! I knew you’d get my letter, I just knew it. I don’t want to know how, or why, you did what you did, but I know you’re alright and that’s all that matters.
I told Justin that I loved him. But guess what - he said it first! Oh, Mum, it was wonderful… he gave me this gorgeously wrapped present, and it was a photo album with tons of pictures of me and all my friends and everyone I know… and there was a picture of me, Justin, Susan and Ernie on the first page, all smiling and waving, and I thought it was just so lovely, such a thoughtful gift. I jumped up and down and hugged him and thanked him, and I wanted to sit and look through it for a while, but then he produced another present, and I when I opened it, I was lost for words. He got me a new camera! A gorgeous, brand-new, shiny camera! I didn’t even cry, I just leapt on him and started squealing like a lunatic. I think he was a bit shocked by that… I’m not surprised, I was making really weird noises Then I gave him his present - by then I was feeling kind of silly, because his present was so expensive compared to mine. When he opened it and read the little note I’d put on the front page, he went all quiet for a while. I thought he was disappointed or angry - when he looked up, after what seemed like ages, he was really pale, like he was going to throw up. I started to babble like an idiot and apologise, because I was all worried, and then he said something, but I didn’t hear what it was because I was talking so fast, and then he said it again and I thought he said “I love you,” but I wasn’t sure, so I stopped talking. Then he said it again and finally I heard him. Then I really did start crying, and I think he thought I was disappointed or upset so he started to babble and apologised, but then I said I loved him and he started to laugh and cry a little, it was so sweet and we kissed and it was all okay. No, it was incredible! I kind of forgot to give him his chocolate frogs, actually. We just sat in front of the fire in the common room for ages, cuddling, and then we had to go down for dinner… I couldn’t stop smiling.
I spoke to Dad earlier and told him about you. He said he‘d heard from you, though he didn‘t say how. Even though he still looks really ill, I think he feels a bit more at peace. He actually smiled.
Oh Mum, I love you so much. I wish you could be here to feel my happiness. I wish I could go back in time, I wish I could hug you and say goodbye properly… I think I’m going to spend the rest of my life, however long that is, wishing that things could have gone differently, but I think that I might be ready to let you go. I’ll never stop thinking about you, Mum, but I’m going to move on, for you, and for Dad. I‘ve got to go and have supper with Ernie, Susan and Justin now, but I needed to write this. I’ll always love you, Mum.
Merry Christmas!