"ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FAT, LIKE, ER?"
Not too much is new.
There's been a crap load of stressful things lately, but it appears to be settling back down for the most part, thank god.
DJ still hasn't found a place to live, but that's really not that big a deal yet.
His truck is falling apart, but he's taking it in today because a part was recalled a while back and he's hoping that will help.
I'm failing miserably at school. Ok, not failing, but it is kicking my ass. I feel like all I do is homework, which isn't true, but for those of you who know me pretty well, you know that my doing any homework is a big deal. So, the fact that I spend at least 70% of each day in class or studying/doing homework is a big deal to me.
The majority of my stress is the fact that my Dad still can't find a decent job. It's so fucking depressing because I know how hard it is on him, and it's seriously making me sick.
Remember two summers ago when I'd get sick and puke everytime I ate and they did about a bazillion tests last year to try to find the cause of it but couldn't? Well, that cleared up for about a year. DJ relieved a lot of stress, last semester went really well, and I didn't feel so rushed at all times. Two weeks ago, the bitch came back. I'd been sort of showing signs of it for a while, then last night it finally hit me. The last few days have been taking a pretty big toll on me, and I just lost it. DJ came to visit, and if he hadn't, I may have just given up completely. We got everything out and he made me prioritize things so I can hopefully focus better on one thing at a time. Ate at Pizza Hut and threw that up. It's bad. I feel a lot better today, I think I just needed to get all of that out and realize that I cause myself more stress than anyone needs to deal with.
I love the people here, but I really need to not live here, so it's good that I'm not next year I think. I've just become a very private person and that's really not an option in my life anymore. The only people I really feel like I need to spend time with right now are my parents and DJ, and the only time I really get to do that is on the weekends. But that means I don't get ANY time to myself anymore, because I'm constantly running.
Even right now, I'm sitting like I'm about to get up because I'm so used to not having time to get comfortable before I have to go somewhere else. I'm going to help Maggie with her video project in a couple minutes. Then I have the rest of the day off. Angela and I are going to Hudson, which I'm actually really excited for. It's beautiful out, hopefully that will continue for at least a few days.
This weekend is going to be complete chaos again.
Zac is coming down, so DJ asked me to hang out with them and some of Zac's other friends in the cities Friday night.
Saturday morning I'm going riding, then to Minneapolis to a photography show with my Mom, both of which I'm super excited about.
Saturday night, if DJ goes to the concert with Zac, I'm locking myself in my bathroom and turning my radio on so I can't hear anything and no one can bother me. If he doesn't, I'm probably hanging out with them again.
The other choice I have to make... Ashley and Jay are going to a semi-formal Saturday night. Ashley asked me to do her make-up, but then I would need to be back here by 4 on Saturday. I would love to, but then I would probably have to drive back home Saturday night because I won't have meal plans left, so I won't get to eat.
Wanna have a party with a petting zoo too? I might have an hour free on Sunday for such an event.
Why do I do this to myself?
Probably because I enjoy it, just not trying to plan it. Also, I hate having to wait for other people's plans to be finalized.
I love/hate my life.
There's been a crap load of stressful things lately, but it appears to be settling back down for the most part, thank god.
DJ still hasn't found a place to live, but that's really not that big a deal yet.
His truck is falling apart, but he's taking it in today because a part was recalled a while back and he's hoping that will help.
I'm failing miserably at school. Ok, not failing, but it is kicking my ass. I feel like all I do is homework, which isn't true, but for those of you who know me pretty well, you know that my doing any homework is a big deal. So, the fact that I spend at least 70% of each day in class or studying/doing homework is a big deal to me.
The majority of my stress is the fact that my Dad still can't find a decent job. It's so fucking depressing because I know how hard it is on him, and it's seriously making me sick.
Remember two summers ago when I'd get sick and puke everytime I ate and they did about a bazillion tests last year to try to find the cause of it but couldn't? Well, that cleared up for about a year. DJ relieved a lot of stress, last semester went really well, and I didn't feel so rushed at all times. Two weeks ago, the bitch came back. I'd been sort of showing signs of it for a while, then last night it finally hit me. The last few days have been taking a pretty big toll on me, and I just lost it. DJ came to visit, and if he hadn't, I may have just given up completely. We got everything out and he made me prioritize things so I can hopefully focus better on one thing at a time. Ate at Pizza Hut and threw that up. It's bad. I feel a lot better today, I think I just needed to get all of that out and realize that I cause myself more stress than anyone needs to deal with.
I love the people here, but I really need to not live here, so it's good that I'm not next year I think. I've just become a very private person and that's really not an option in my life anymore. The only people I really feel like I need to spend time with right now are my parents and DJ, and the only time I really get to do that is on the weekends. But that means I don't get ANY time to myself anymore, because I'm constantly running.
Even right now, I'm sitting like I'm about to get up because I'm so used to not having time to get comfortable before I have to go somewhere else. I'm going to help Maggie with her video project in a couple minutes. Then I have the rest of the day off. Angela and I are going to Hudson, which I'm actually really excited for. It's beautiful out, hopefully that will continue for at least a few days.
This weekend is going to be complete chaos again.
Zac is coming down, so DJ asked me to hang out with them and some of Zac's other friends in the cities Friday night.
Saturday morning I'm going riding, then to Minneapolis to a photography show with my Mom, both of which I'm super excited about.
Saturday night, if DJ goes to the concert with Zac, I'm locking myself in my bathroom and turning my radio on so I can't hear anything and no one can bother me. If he doesn't, I'm probably hanging out with them again.
The other choice I have to make... Ashley and Jay are going to a semi-formal Saturday night. Ashley asked me to do her make-up, but then I would need to be back here by 4 on Saturday. I would love to, but then I would probably have to drive back home Saturday night because I won't have meal plans left, so I won't get to eat.
Wanna have a party with a petting zoo too? I might have an hour free on Sunday for such an event.
Why do I do this to myself?
Probably because I enjoy it, just not trying to plan it. Also, I hate having to wait for other people's plans to be finalized.
I love/hate my life.