The Nice Guy Revolution.
I've had it.
I've had enough of watching women I care about dive into relationships that I know will one day abuse them; it's like watching someone slowly torture themselves and feel completely powerless because they are so fixated on how it's "meant to be" that they miss what their souls tell them.
I've had enough of sitting around listenning to women, feminists and gender equality supporters alike say they truly include men, when they don't, really. "Gender Studies" my ass. if all of the "studies" weren't 98% female oriented or otherwise filtered by how their results effect the female situation, then maybe. Maybe it's a start. maybe it's a way to get people really thinking about the male half of the equation without looking through a negative lens... somehow I doubt it.
... I highly doubt it.
The truth is, the new wave of males that are coming into the world were raised by those women born into feminism: late Baby-boomers in the heat of the 60's: women with a voice, women who believe in equality in status, in income, in opportunity, and in freedom... and we notice something terribly painful after all is said and done. and oh how it's never done.
We notice that our lives aren't that much different from yours, from women, from abused women, from disregarded women, from talented women put in the background because of their biology, their anatomy - and all sprung out of tradition permeated throughout society and based on false assumptions asserted first before people even imagined seeing it a different way.
And we, as men, as REAL men, aren't afraid to say that you don't see us either.
You don't really see our pain, you see men finally beginning to feel what women have suffered for thousands of years as if that justifies our inequity... and somehow think that our pain is nothing compared to the fact that 98% of rapists are male, and more abuse and violence comes from men than any and every type or association of women combined... and therefore obviously men aren't feeling pain... truly.
... what you miss most of all is that most of the men that continue to abuse women are not the same men that feel pain. these are the men that have either been born into self effigation, and self abuse, or were beaten into it by the pressure of our society to "grow up" and become "real men"; as though, real men were the ones who keep control of the their emotions. Men who are stoic, but not afraid to cry?! yeah sure, not in PRIVATE anyways. We can be emotional as we like at home so long as we get to work and keep it together, because who wants to work under the manager that breaks down and sniffles when the going gets tough?
oh wait... women do that too. and they also are in managerial positions. wait a minute. Hey, those same women "lose it" and explode, and get violent in every sense of the word but somehow they are women justifying their place in society and that's "OKAY" in comparison to a man doing the same thing (sure ultimately it's not okay, but relatively speaking? a man is as good as an outcast at the point). To her, it's a women gone too far, to a man - he's now one of THOSE men. hey, those SAME women enter abusive relationships that are not recognized by society as abusive becuase the abuse isn't the same when someone isn't being beaten... and who would really believe that a woman is abusing a man, especially if he really is "a man"? if he was a "real man" he wouldn't let anyone kick his ass... emotionally as well as physically.
Yup. definitely something wrong here. Did you know that most rape cases where a man is the victim go either unreported, or unconvicted? What would you say if a man came into your work and told you he had just been raped? I know that where I work, (a kitchen,) they'd probably laugh. why? well, for one thing, jokes like that get tossed around almost as much as profanity and no sentence is complete without that. Hell, they'd probably say, "yeah, and we just took it from behind for the past four hours; look at how busy it is!!" as if that explained everything away. Maybe rapes of males go "undiagnosed" because it's not exactly "Possible" to rape a male, I mean, if we are always the actors in the rapes, or if we are always the powerful and stronger than how can that be? And you can't "rape" the willing, right? funny... people don't want to talk about the idea of a man doing the raping to another man. that's a case of double taboo. oooOoOOOH!. and to think that any man would NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!! HEAVEN FORBID!!!
If any man has had sex that he didn't particularly like, then I guarantee he can imagine not wanting to have sex. and everyone has something they regret.
part of me is angry at myself for pushing so many buttons because most of them are those belonging to the movement I have been born, and raised to support. but that other part of me, that natural, instinctive part of me, says that feminism is telling me that something that should be there, is not allowed. and no one is willing to speak out and really listen to the thought that feminism doesn't have all the right answers.
... and never will. no anything-ism will answer all of the problems, the fact that we have to use "men" and "women" in our conversations will always leave something, or someone, wanting. so any amount of "femin"-ism is no better. or "Masuline"-ism.
So in the meantime, let us now acknowledge the men's movement. No, not some reaction to feminism that alpha males use to justify their place as the dominating force in humanity; no, a movement, a revolution, for the men that have decided to support feminism and realize that there truly is no place in it, as it stands, for them.
this is the Nice Guy Revolution. and I'm tired of blowing sunshine up your asses when I know what you do isn't right... and worse, when I know it will hurt you but you just won't listen because, "You're a guy, you just don't understand."
I'm a nice guy, not your confidant,
I'm your friend, not your blog,
I'm where you rant and come for advice, not what you write away and disregard
I'm the one that understands more about yourself that you give me credit for
and when you do finally understand - it is too late,
and I want nothing to do with you, because watching you,
encouraging you
empowering you -
and coddling you that whole time has made me soft
and it's not the crib I seek.
It's life.
I think I just discovered that I'm a fighter by nature... not by training.
I've had enough of watching women I care about dive into relationships that I know will one day abuse them; it's like watching someone slowly torture themselves and feel completely powerless because they are so fixated on how it's "meant to be" that they miss what their souls tell them.
I've had enough of sitting around listenning to women, feminists and gender equality supporters alike say they truly include men, when they don't, really. "Gender Studies" my ass. if all of the "studies" weren't 98% female oriented or otherwise filtered by how their results effect the female situation, then maybe. Maybe it's a start. maybe it's a way to get people really thinking about the male half of the equation without looking through a negative lens... somehow I doubt it.
... I highly doubt it.
The truth is, the new wave of males that are coming into the world were raised by those women born into feminism: late Baby-boomers in the heat of the 60's: women with a voice, women who believe in equality in status, in income, in opportunity, and in freedom... and we notice something terribly painful after all is said and done. and oh how it's never done.
We notice that our lives aren't that much different from yours, from women, from abused women, from disregarded women, from talented women put in the background because of their biology, their anatomy - and all sprung out of tradition permeated throughout society and based on false assumptions asserted first before people even imagined seeing it a different way.
And we, as men, as REAL men, aren't afraid to say that you don't see us either.
You don't really see our pain, you see men finally beginning to feel what women have suffered for thousands of years as if that justifies our inequity... and somehow think that our pain is nothing compared to the fact that 98% of rapists are male, and more abuse and violence comes from men than any and every type or association of women combined... and therefore obviously men aren't feeling pain... truly.
... what you miss most of all is that most of the men that continue to abuse women are not the same men that feel pain. these are the men that have either been born into self effigation, and self abuse, or were beaten into it by the pressure of our society to "grow up" and become "real men"; as though, real men were the ones who keep control of the their emotions. Men who are stoic, but not afraid to cry?! yeah sure, not in PRIVATE anyways. We can be emotional as we like at home so long as we get to work and keep it together, because who wants to work under the manager that breaks down and sniffles when the going gets tough?
oh wait... women do that too. and they also are in managerial positions. wait a minute. Hey, those same women "lose it" and explode, and get violent in every sense of the word but somehow they are women justifying their place in society and that's "OKAY" in comparison to a man doing the same thing (sure ultimately it's not okay, but relatively speaking? a man is as good as an outcast at the point). To her, it's a women gone too far, to a man - he's now one of THOSE men. hey, those SAME women enter abusive relationships that are not recognized by society as abusive becuase the abuse isn't the same when someone isn't being beaten... and who would really believe that a woman is abusing a man, especially if he really is "a man"? if he was a "real man" he wouldn't let anyone kick his ass... emotionally as well as physically.
Yup. definitely something wrong here. Did you know that most rape cases where a man is the victim go either unreported, or unconvicted? What would you say if a man came into your work and told you he had just been raped? I know that where I work, (a kitchen,) they'd probably laugh. why? well, for one thing, jokes like that get tossed around almost as much as profanity and no sentence is complete without that. Hell, they'd probably say, "yeah, and we just took it from behind for the past four hours; look at how busy it is!!" as if that explained everything away. Maybe rapes of males go "undiagnosed" because it's not exactly "Possible" to rape a male, I mean, if we are always the actors in the rapes, or if we are always the powerful and stronger than how can that be? And you can't "rape" the willing, right? funny... people don't want to talk about the idea of a man doing the raping to another man. that's a case of double taboo. oooOoOOOH!. and to think that any man would NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!! HEAVEN FORBID!!!
If any man has had sex that he didn't particularly like, then I guarantee he can imagine not wanting to have sex. and everyone has something they regret.
part of me is angry at myself for pushing so many buttons because most of them are those belonging to the movement I have been born, and raised to support. but that other part of me, that natural, instinctive part of me, says that feminism is telling me that something that should be there, is not allowed. and no one is willing to speak out and really listen to the thought that feminism doesn't have all the right answers.
... and never will. no anything-ism will answer all of the problems, the fact that we have to use "men" and "women" in our conversations will always leave something, or someone, wanting. so any amount of "femin"-ism is no better. or "Masuline"-ism.
So in the meantime, let us now acknowledge the men's movement. No, not some reaction to feminism that alpha males use to justify their place as the dominating force in humanity; no, a movement, a revolution, for the men that have decided to support feminism and realize that there truly is no place in it, as it stands, for them.
this is the Nice Guy Revolution. and I'm tired of blowing sunshine up your asses when I know what you do isn't right... and worse, when I know it will hurt you but you just won't listen because, "You're a guy, you just don't understand."
I'm a nice guy, not your confidant,
I'm your friend, not your blog,
I'm where you rant and come for advice, not what you write away and disregard
I'm the one that understands more about yourself that you give me credit for
and when you do finally understand - it is too late,
and I want nothing to do with you, because watching you,
encouraging you
empowering you -
and coddling you that whole time has made me soft
and it's not the crib I seek.
It's life.
I think I just discovered that I'm a fighter by nature... not by training.