Maturity is forcing yourself to do what you don't want to do.
I think the hardest thing I've ever done is grow up. and I'm not even done yet.
...but you might regret what you let slip away like the geek in the pink... Jason Mraz is stuck in my head. I'm addicted. I lurve that song. I haven't listened to anything this much since Dispatch a few years ago... yar. my voice is slowly regaining its usefulness but I have a strange perma-break in my falsetto now. it seems the rest of my voice and my abilities are getting better though... fancy that.
I am lovin Kung Fu. Every time I go I feel like I could work another two hours, sweat my balls off, collapse from exhaustion, and still want more. It is building my confidence, my energy, my flexibility, and my awareness and body-connection. More importantly, I retain everything. I learn it more quickly than I ever did dancing; according to him, I am the fastest learning student that my instructor has ever had, and I just want more. [pardon the punctuation usage *shrugs*] it's something I've had desire to do for a long time, and now that I'm doing it I can't believe I held out for so long. I finally found something in my life that was really "meant to be". I never thought it would be kung fu, though. I assume that I learn fast because my father taught me and my brother from before I can remember since he achieved something higher than a black-belt himself and had to teach his kids. so yeah. loving that. and it just works. I'm not stopping at black belt. 4 years is an easy commitment for something that helps me in more ways than I can describe.
My back pains have finally gotten me to the physiotherapist and she has given me some strange excercises and stretches that she thought would be fun to test out on me first *shudders*. apparently one of my arches has fallen and my left leg appears longer than my right and it's messing up my entire back and my knee and everything. so I have to fix it with agonizing stretches. crack a few eggs? ... vertebrae?
I had a *painful*/humbling realization the other day. I have to grow up. I've spent so many years whining about what messed up my life up until I was 18, and now that I have time and resources and all the options in the world I ahve been doing everything but dealing with it. I actually don't believe in the family structure anymore. I don't have a good alternative at hand, but for some reason, teaching every human to be reliant or need reliance on a group of other people from birth makes it hard to survive on one's own. we say it's good to have friends, and it's needed to have support - but we need also to take vacations where someone does all of our work for us. I don't think that's anymore written into unchangeable humanity than belligerence in men. I often wonder what the world would be like if we learned to ingrain in ourselves that creation was the most comfortable place... that initiative could be the ideal, and we would take vacations to go and do things that will allow us to achieve our ultimate goals, not take us away from them. I doubt we'd would rely so much on leaders, who cause violence from their inability to cope with so many people's lack of initiative and assertiveness, and rely more on our real nature;
ever feel like you're the only one who can take control in stressful situations? like you know that everyone else will run around blindly and that all you have to do is step in because you know you can, but you're reluctant? you know you have the ability but you wish for the life of you that you weren't the only one? well I'm tired of watching other people dive out and fuck things up because they don't understand what they can and cannot do, and end up hurting themselves because of it.
most importantly, I'm tired of letting them because I'm to lazy to accept that I DO understand sometimes, and that if we're all in this together, then I am letting down the team by not doing my part. I know the things I do well, the things I'm supposed to be doing... refusing to do them is like refusing to live. and choosing to hurt.
You're only lazy if you are neglecting something that needs to be done - only doing something wrong if you are neglecting or avoiding what is right. The only reason you don't want to do something, is because you should be doing it. if it doesn't need to be done, or is not in question, then there is no inclination either way.
Maturity is forcing yourself to do what you don't want to do.
...but you might regret what you let slip away like the geek in the pink... Jason Mraz is stuck in my head. I'm addicted. I lurve that song. I haven't listened to anything this much since Dispatch a few years ago... yar. my voice is slowly regaining its usefulness but I have a strange perma-break in my falsetto now. it seems the rest of my voice and my abilities are getting better though... fancy that.
I am lovin Kung Fu. Every time I go I feel like I could work another two hours, sweat my balls off, collapse from exhaustion, and still want more. It is building my confidence, my energy, my flexibility, and my awareness and body-connection. More importantly, I retain everything. I learn it more quickly than I ever did dancing; according to him, I am the fastest learning student that my instructor has ever had, and I just want more. [pardon the punctuation usage *shrugs*] it's something I've had desire to do for a long time, and now that I'm doing it I can't believe I held out for so long. I finally found something in my life that was really "meant to be". I never thought it would be kung fu, though. I assume that I learn fast because my father taught me and my brother from before I can remember since he achieved something higher than a black-belt himself and had to teach his kids. so yeah. loving that. and it just works. I'm not stopping at black belt. 4 years is an easy commitment for something that helps me in more ways than I can describe.
My back pains have finally gotten me to the physiotherapist and she has given me some strange excercises and stretches that she thought would be fun to test out on me first *shudders*. apparently one of my arches has fallen and my left leg appears longer than my right and it's messing up my entire back and my knee and everything. so I have to fix it with agonizing stretches. crack a few eggs? ... vertebrae?
I had a *painful*/humbling realization the other day. I have to grow up. I've spent so many years whining about what messed up my life up until I was 18, and now that I have time and resources and all the options in the world I ahve been doing everything but dealing with it. I actually don't believe in the family structure anymore. I don't have a good alternative at hand, but for some reason, teaching every human to be reliant or need reliance on a group of other people from birth makes it hard to survive on one's own. we say it's good to have friends, and it's needed to have support - but we need also to take vacations where someone does all of our work for us. I don't think that's anymore written into unchangeable humanity than belligerence in men. I often wonder what the world would be like if we learned to ingrain in ourselves that creation was the most comfortable place... that initiative could be the ideal, and we would take vacations to go and do things that will allow us to achieve our ultimate goals, not take us away from them. I doubt we'd would rely so much on leaders, who cause violence from their inability to cope with so many people's lack of initiative and assertiveness, and rely more on our real nature;
ever feel like you're the only one who can take control in stressful situations? like you know that everyone else will run around blindly and that all you have to do is step in because you know you can, but you're reluctant? you know you have the ability but you wish for the life of you that you weren't the only one? well I'm tired of watching other people dive out and fuck things up because they don't understand what they can and cannot do, and end up hurting themselves because of it.
most importantly, I'm tired of letting them because I'm to lazy to accept that I DO understand sometimes, and that if we're all in this together, then I am letting down the team by not doing my part. I know the things I do well, the things I'm supposed to be doing... refusing to do them is like refusing to live. and choosing to hurt.
You're only lazy if you are neglecting something that needs to be done - only doing something wrong if you are neglecting or avoiding what is right. The only reason you don't want to do something, is because you should be doing it. if it doesn't need to be done, or is not in question, then there is no inclination either way.
Maturity is forcing yourself to do what you don't want to do.