(no subject)
Today, I confronted my father about something that had been bothering me to the point of tears for months.
On ocassion, I have cried in front of him and always excused myself by saying I was crying because my father didn't believe me, and at the times he was present, he would think of something that happened recently and lecture me about it (this time, it was about me and nail-biting). I never told him the true root of my random bouts of sadness. Until now.
I told him it was because he didn't believe that I was actually raped. He justified himself by lecturing me about how what I did was wrong and blah blah. He used very proper, defined terms to describe what he did and did not believe, leaving gigantic loop-holes. I feel better now, even though I shouldn't. He doesn't believe anything more than he did yesterday, and I have no reason to feel better about the relationship between us, but I do. Hopefully, I can move forward. I cannot believe that he took my sadness to mean that I hated him, though. I don't hate him. I am just very, very sad that he believes what he does. But, it is all better now. All better.
FORWARD.
On ocassion, I have cried in front of him and always excused myself by saying I was crying because my father didn't believe me, and at the times he was present, he would think of something that happened recently and lecture me about it (this time, it was about me and nail-biting). I never told him the true root of my random bouts of sadness. Until now.
I told him it was because he didn't believe that I was actually raped. He justified himself by lecturing me about how what I did was wrong and blah blah. He used very proper, defined terms to describe what he did and did not believe, leaving gigantic loop-holes. I feel better now, even though I shouldn't. He doesn't believe anything more than he did yesterday, and I have no reason to feel better about the relationship between us, but I do. Hopefully, I can move forward. I cannot believe that he took my sadness to mean that I hated him, though. I don't hate him. I am just very, very sad that he believes what he does. But, it is all better now. All better.
FORWARD.