And my brain keeps revolving around and around...
Seriously, don't tag this unless you're in that fangirl part of Supernatural fandom, or you just won't get it.
So Chicago Con was this weekend - and it looks like my flist had a good, if not a dramatic time of things. The boys (Jared, Jensen, Misha, Richard, Rob, and Jim) were apparently gentlemen of good humor beyond compare and the ladies all kicked much ass. I was sad I couldn't afford to go -- but there were so many awesome convideos that I feel like I haven't missed a moment, really. The interconnectness of the world now makes it possible for me, sitting in my room in Lansing, MI, to be there in Chicago while the panels were running and the pictures were flashing. It's a weird and bittersweet sort of experience, but I don't begrudge any of my friends it. I'm glad they had a great time.
The problem I'm having now, though, is the thought that Misha Collins is (might be?) gliding his way through our fandom world, like a ... well, like a feather on the wind. I don't even know if he does - or if he knows what goes on really, but there's just that feeling of tooclosetooclose. I don't want to say Misha can't walk around in our world - but there are parts of it where it's like ... it's like the teacher you've had a crush on for years finding that note where you said he was hot and you want to have his babies.
It's innocent, it's lust without real intent, but still ...embarrassing.
I've got a crush on Misha Collins. I know I'm not alone. I know I don't mind him knowing. I do know that me writing fanfiction about his character is like - having another crush on someone who is not real, which I understand. I just feel like - I don't know ... like he doesn't get it. It's not that we're ashamed of what we write, or say. It's just fiction, or artwork, or sheer admiration -- but it's pictures on the wind. We're not getting paid for it, we're not garnering fantastic jobs because of it, it's just something we love to do. I don't think he'd understand that we're not out there to be - well - Becky. We just want to show love in the only way we know how.
I don't know - would he get that? He was a total sweetheart to tracy_loo_who. But he's just one guy, one actor. What about Jensen or Jared or anyone else? I feel like fandom keeps being misinterpreted - not sometimes without merit, but still. Those of us out there who love our actors and our actresses because of the roles they play. But those wise enough know that it's not a real sort of love, a love that can bind and hurt. Just an innocent flirtation between friends.
Well, there, got that out of my system. I'd friendslock this, but eh. Let it be said out in the world. Maybe now I can focus.
So Chicago Con was this weekend - and it looks like my flist had a good, if not a dramatic time of things. The boys (Jared, Jensen, Misha, Richard, Rob, and Jim) were apparently gentlemen of good humor beyond compare and the ladies all kicked much ass. I was sad I couldn't afford to go -- but there were so many awesome convideos that I feel like I haven't missed a moment, really. The interconnectness of the world now makes it possible for me, sitting in my room in Lansing, MI, to be there in Chicago while the panels were running and the pictures were flashing. It's a weird and bittersweet sort of experience, but I don't begrudge any of my friends it. I'm glad they had a great time.
The problem I'm having now, though, is the thought that Misha Collins is (might be?) gliding his way through our fandom world, like a ... well, like a feather on the wind. I don't even know if he does - or if he knows what goes on really, but there's just that feeling of tooclosetooclose. I don't want to say Misha can't walk around in our world - but there are parts of it where it's like ... it's like the teacher you've had a crush on for years finding that note where you said he was hot and you want to have his babies.
It's innocent, it's lust without real intent, but still ...embarrassing.
I've got a crush on Misha Collins. I know I'm not alone. I know I don't mind him knowing. I do know that me writing fanfiction about his character is like - having another crush on someone who is not real, which I understand. I just feel like - I don't know ... like he doesn't get it. It's not that we're ashamed of what we write, or say. It's just fiction, or artwork, or sheer admiration -- but it's pictures on the wind. We're not getting paid for it, we're not garnering fantastic jobs because of it, it's just something we love to do. I don't think he'd understand that we're not out there to be - well - Becky. We just want to show love in the only way we know how.
I don't know - would he get that? He was a total sweetheart to tracy_loo_who. But he's just one guy, one actor. What about Jensen or Jared or anyone else? I feel like fandom keeps being misinterpreted - not sometimes without merit, but still. Those of us out there who love our actors and our actresses because of the roles they play. But those wise enough know that it's not a real sort of love, a love that can bind and hurt. Just an innocent flirtation between friends.
Well, there, got that out of my system. I'd friendslock this, but eh. Let it be said out in the world. Maybe now I can focus.