Regrets
Well, November is upon us, it's an even-numbered year, and that means it's time for my biennual* Election Day post.
Whee?
I'm reluctant this year, but not because I don't have anything to say. On the contrary, I have strong opinions on American politics right now. I could go on for pages (and would have done on several occasions this past year, if I weren't so lazy). No, the trouble is what happened last time.
In '04, I posted a joke; in '06, a pretty good go-vote post. Both were nonpartisan, mostly just my reactions to the trend (on LJ and elsewhere) of saying "I don't care who you're going to vote for, but VOTE VOTE VOTE," which nobody actually means. In '08, I wasn't feeling nonpartisan. Nearly a decade of vicious, constant demonization from the Kos crowd was building to a peak, and I was mad. I wanted to speak my mind more directly for once.
I considered how many of my LJ friends post about politics whenever they're in the mood. I've read lots of those posts over the years, and I usually disagree with them; sometimes I even get angry. But I don't hate them for it. If they're not shy about using LJ to express their views, I said to myself, why shouldn't I do the same once in a while? What's the worst that can happen?
So I made that post. I explained how frustrated I was with the likely result of the election. I said a couple of controversial things I should probably have phrased better, and I argued with some friends in the comments. But there were no flames, no drama. The election of course didn't go my way, I reflected about it a bit in the next post, and I figured that was the end of it.
A year later, I found out that post had cost me one of my oldest online friends -- no, hell, one of my oldest friends.
She didn't say anything. She just decided we were done. We hadn't been talking all that much lately, so I didn't notice until I tried to follow her on Twitter and found myself already blocked. I've tried to engage her a couple of times since then, and I'll probably keep trying; she could always have a change of heart. But to the best of my knowledge, she still considers me a hateful, unreasonable person she doesn't want in her life.
That's what my '08 election post cost me. That's what came of thinking I could use my LJ the way my friends did. The way she sometimes did.
I stand by everything I said in that post, and I think the past two years have made matters even clearer. But if I could turn back time, would I still post it? Hell no. Even if the friendship was doomed anyway, it wasn't worth it.
There's a lot I've been meaning to write about the election and the political scene in general. Sooner or later I probably will write some of it. And yeah, I'll post it on this LJ. I still believe there's no reason I should be the only one censoring himself.
But not today. Today I just wish I'd never said a word.
- Z
* Apparently that's the word for once every two years, semiannual is for twice a year, and biannual amusingly but inconveniently swings both ways.
Whee?
I'm reluctant this year, but not because I don't have anything to say. On the contrary, I have strong opinions on American politics right now. I could go on for pages (and would have done on several occasions this past year, if I weren't so lazy). No, the trouble is what happened last time.
In '04, I posted a joke; in '06, a pretty good go-vote post. Both were nonpartisan, mostly just my reactions to the trend (on LJ and elsewhere) of saying "I don't care who you're going to vote for, but VOTE VOTE VOTE," which nobody actually means. In '08, I wasn't feeling nonpartisan. Nearly a decade of vicious, constant demonization from the Kos crowd was building to a peak, and I was mad. I wanted to speak my mind more directly for once.
I considered how many of my LJ friends post about politics whenever they're in the mood. I've read lots of those posts over the years, and I usually disagree with them; sometimes I even get angry. But I don't hate them for it. If they're not shy about using LJ to express their views, I said to myself, why shouldn't I do the same once in a while? What's the worst that can happen?
So I made that post. I explained how frustrated I was with the likely result of the election. I said a couple of controversial things I should probably have phrased better, and I argued with some friends in the comments. But there were no flames, no drama. The election of course didn't go my way, I reflected about it a bit in the next post, and I figured that was the end of it.
A year later, I found out that post had cost me one of my oldest online friends -- no, hell, one of my oldest friends.
She didn't say anything. She just decided we were done. We hadn't been talking all that much lately, so I didn't notice until I tried to follow her on Twitter and found myself already blocked. I've tried to engage her a couple of times since then, and I'll probably keep trying; she could always have a change of heart. But to the best of my knowledge, she still considers me a hateful, unreasonable person she doesn't want in her life.
That's what my '08 election post cost me. That's what came of thinking I could use my LJ the way my friends did. The way she sometimes did.
I stand by everything I said in that post, and I think the past two years have made matters even clearer. But if I could turn back time, would I still post it? Hell no. Even if the friendship was doomed anyway, it wasn't worth it.
There's a lot I've been meaning to write about the election and the political scene in general. Sooner or later I probably will write some of it. And yeah, I'll post it on this LJ. I still believe there's no reason I should be the only one censoring himself.
But not today. Today I just wish I'd never said a word.
- Z
* Apparently that's the word for once every two years, semiannual is for twice a year, and biannual amusingly but inconveniently swings both ways.