(no subject)
i hate john. no, i don't. i hate that i still think about him. i hate that i wonder if he has a girlfriend or is seeing someone new. i hate that he never comes online, doesn't answer his phone (the whole 3 times i've called), doesn't call back (he has caller id) and i hate how i wonder if he's avoiding me. or if he's blocked me. or just that he has a life outside of work and the internet that i don't know about. i hate how i saw a message on his campuskiss profile directed to another girl and i checked out her profile and compared her to myself. i hate thinking these things. i hate that tears still well up in my eyes since it happened months ago and we weren't even "dating". i hate the fact that my stomach still flips when i see his smile. and i hate how i still think he's hot. and yet i still don't regret meeting him. if i hadn't, i wouldn't have had the chance to experience any of the good i felt. even if it was followed by lots of bad. i hate that i sound really obsessed with him. haha. i'm not. just sometimes these things pop into my head and make me feel like ASS