and she went offline..the nerve of that girl!

[commodityfetish]

so jen wants to hear my story so here it is: paul sylvestri..remember him? i used to have a huge ass crush on the guy. i still think he's super cute. friend of sullivans, we went to sno jam and we saw him play at sullivan's show. anywayyyyyssss....i see this guy at school all the time. and like many people i see at school, we pretend we don't know each other. i pretend not to see him, he pretends not to see me, we don't talk, acknowledge, smile..etc. yeah i'm fucked up that way. and lately i've been thinking if i were jen i would have said "hi, remember me?" a long time ago but i didn't. and now its too late. so lately i've been seeing him a lot usually in the library. a week or two ago someone posted something about a play at york and he is one of the actors. on tuesday i was in the lib reading in one of those cubbies and guess who sits down beside me. i was thinking..hey stephanie..you should tap him on the shoulder and say something. talk about the play. say something! but i didn't. so i leave the room i was in...go pee and as i'm walking out i see sullivan talking to paul. as usual...i pretend not to see them. WHY..WHY DO I DO THIS? i walk by, and sullivan goes "hey steph" i'm like SHIT i'm caught. haha. so i say hey man...and i'm nervous and my face is hot and he introduces me to paul but i cut him off and say "i know paul" and we look at each other and he nods and smiles and he may have said something in agreement. so we talk about the morbio show, and then some other chick who knows sullivan came up, and they were talking, and paul was quiet the whole time, and i was quiet, and it was weid...so i just said "i gotta go to class, bye guys" and walked away. i don't even know if they said bye back cuz i left so quickly. ahh...why does this deserve a journal entry? i guess i want to let everyone know how retarded i am. thats all. i wonder..will we pretend we don't know each other next time we see each other?
p.s. i really love the way nick's hair blows in the windy halls of york. and the way his teeth glow with a kind of radiance only known to people of chernobyl. oh and i really love this newly formed sty in my eye. that is all.