Finding Families on Wednesday

[schweinsty]

Morning! Pardon the later post. I’m schweinsty and today's theme is found families! Prompts should revolve around families formed by choice.

Just a few rules:No more than five prompts in a row

Comments

Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[lil_1337]

Steve hated it. The feeling of disconnect that hit him when he was least expecting it. The big things, like holidays, he knew were coming and he could plan for them. It was the little moments, the tender touch of a hand or laughter that spoke of history shared between friends that would catch him unaware, with his guard down. The realization that the world he knew was dead and gone would come rushing back with the force of a blow to the from Thor's hammer.

It brought with it a crushing grief that would steal his breath in a way that asthma could only envy. He could and would fight a disease. After all, the name Steve Rogers had long been a synonym for stubborn. But this, this overwhelming sense of loss, weighed him down until more than anything he wanted to give up and sink back into the peacefulness of oblivion.

Still, he couldn't quite let go. No matter how deep the pain ran, he had a mission. There was always another war or a new villain to fight. Injustice needed to be fixed and he, through the power of his name and symbol he represented, could do that. He, Steve Rogers not Captain America, had things to accomplish and that made him push back against the lethargy that threatened to drag him down.

That knowledge drove him now even as it had driven him in the past. Bucky had liked to tease Steve, saying he had a savior complex, though he never used those exact words it was what he meant. Taking the super serum had only strengthened his resolve. It gave him a purpose, a reason to put one foot in front of the other, but no joy; just grim determination.

Joy, he hadn't felt that since Peggy had agreed to save him a dance. What a fleeting, whimsical thing it had been. One moment firmly in the palm of his hand and the next just gone. As far as he could tell, forever.

The closest he had come since being taken out of the ice was the sense of accomplishment and camaraderie he'd shared after the attack on New York had been repelled and before the recriminations had begun. He'd almost been happy, flushed with pride and sense of possibility. It reminded him that he needed to belong somewhere that he could believe in. If he was to survive and maybe even thrive in this brave new world he needed, more than life itself, a place and people who would help him to find a way to be a part of something bigger than himself.

RE: Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[4bdnsn0wflake]

I don't usually think of Steve as having such dark moments, but it makes a lot of sense. How could you lose so much and not grieve for it?

This hurt to read, but I think you've really hit on a seldom-explored aspect of his character.

Re: Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[lil_1337]

It was not at all what I planned to write, but I did the first line and the rest just flowed so that's good I guess.

I'm sorry it hurt. *hugs and cuddles*

RE: Re: Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[4bdnsn0wflake]

I actually think it's a great thing when the writing just takes over sometimes. It comes from a very pure and visceral place.

It wasn't a bad kind of hurt, I just really felt for Steve.

Re: Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[lil_1337]

I do too. That's usually when I do my best stuff.

*hugs* Because you are a good person.

RE: Re: Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[4bdnsn0wflake]

*snuggles up to you and purrs*

Re: Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[nagi_schwarz]

You capture Steve's emptiness and his quest for purpose so well. He is so driven, and you really nail it on the head - Steve needs to be part of something bigger than himself to have purpose.

Re: Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[lil_1337]

Thank you so much. Steve strikes me as one of those people who appear simple, but are actually very complicated.

Re: Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[brumeier]

Oh, Steve. ::hugs him:: Of course he fought so hard for Bucky. His only link to his old life, the only person still alive who knew him before he was Captain America.

You did a great job expressing both his despair and his drive, his need to be part of something in lieu of having someone.

Thank you so much!!

Re: Fill: MCU - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter - Steve Rogers Vs. Himself

[lil_1337]

You are very welcome. I'm so glad you liked it. Steve is a fighter. He just needs something he is passionate about to fight for.