Friday: Things You Wear

Jul 26, 2013 05:30

Good morning, and happy Friday! I'm evil_little_dog, and I hope you've had fun this week. The final theme is "Clothes", so any prompt should include something you'd wear ( Read more... )

Leave a comment

Fill 1/2 tinamachina July 27 2013, 01:16:48 UTC
Knock, knock! “Penny!” Knock, knock! “Penny!” Knock, knock! “Penny!”

The knocking was familiar, but it was not Sheldon’s voice that accompanied it. Penny rushed to open the door.

A distressed and panic-stricken Amy wailed, “My relationship with Sheldon is over!”

“Oh, honey!” Penny guided Amy, who was already hyperventilating, to the couch, “Sit! Just calm down, take a few deep breaths.” Penny held Amy’s hand. “Honey, what happened?”

“Well,” Amy was choking back sobs, wringing a white cloth in her hand, “As a gesture of our mutual devotion, and as a favor that the female archetype might perform for the male, I offered to do Sheldon’s laundry.”

“Ok?” Penny urged Amy to continue, already sensing impending doom. Sheldon did not like other people touching his stuff, so Amy washing his clothes must have been a big leap of faith for him. She was almost proud of him but…

“So I did, adhering to his strict guidelines of the proper amount of the required detergent and the correct temperature of the water and the precise rotation of the washer blades and the exact timing of pre-rinse and wash and spin and drying and…”

“Okay, okay, so what happened?” Penny urged Amy to skip ahead.

“Well,” Amy swallowed her tears, “Upon completion, I then moved onto my own labcoats, which require regular bleaching and cleaning with hot water because brain matter…”

“Oh yeah,” Penny nodded, with disgust.

“And I believed that I had properly separated both loads,” Amy held out both hand.

Penny’s mouth dropped. She saw where this horror story was going. “Oh. No.”

And then Amy held up what Penny had mistaken for some hankie. It was a tee-shirt that might be mistaken for something off of Threadless’ infant inventory, except it had the faded image of some old scientist dude whose features were comprised of numbers and mathematical symbols. Amy was in deep shit.

“Well, um,” Penny tried to console her, “maybe your kids will fit into it one day. I mean, Sheldon is super picky about his stuff but that’s no reason for him to dump you!”

“He didn’t,” Amy explained. “He does not know. He will never know. That is why I have decided to go off grid and go underground. Come with me! We can create new identities for ourselves, travel where the wind shall take us! Your acting skills and my brains, we can take on all sorts of wacky odd jobs! I shall be…Carla Danger!”

“Um, honey, you may wanna rethink that last part,” Penny pulled Amy back to earth, although for a brief shiny second, the thought of going Thelma and Louise did seem kind of tempting, but the odds of running into a Brad Pitt were less likely than meeting a Ted Bundy. “Anyway, running away doesn’t solve anything.”

“You ran away from your humdrum life for the bright lights of Hollywood,” Amy argued.

“Do not change the subject, young lady,” Penny raised a finger. “Anyway, you just gotta tell Sheldon. He’s not unreasonable. Or homicidal…”

Knock, knock. “Amy!” Knock, knock. “Amy!” Knock, knock, “Amy!” It was Sheldon.

Penny grabbed Amy by the arm before she could dive behind the couch. Penny then opened the door.

Reply

Fill 2/2 tinamachina July 27 2013, 01:18:23 UTC
“Amy!” Sheldon strode in. “I am deeply concerned…hello Penny…did you not hear my salutations as you ran past me in the lobby?”

Amy stared at the carpet, shaking, “Hello.”

“I just assumed that you were in a rush to use Penny’s toilet facilities although I cannot imagine why. My facilities are surely more hygienic.”

Penny glared at Sheldon. Unfortunately, he might have been right. “Sheldon, Amy has something to tell you, and you should know that she meant no harm and she is such a good friend and…”

“I’M SORRY!” Amy wailed, holding up the tiny tee. Her panicked, detailed confession came out in one long breathless sentence with all the words mashed together and punctuated with “I’M SORRY” repeated about ten times. Then she burst into tears.

Sheldon stood stock still like a statue. His face was a solid look of horror, mouth pressed shut, eyes wide open.

“I see,” Sheldon said very calmly. Not “it’s okay” calm, just closely contained rage calm. “You have destroyed my belongings. This is an egregious breach of trust.”

“Sheldon, it was an accident. She didn’t…” Penny pleaded but Sheldon cut her off with a raised hand.

“While I am deeply saddened by the mishandling of my favorite yellow tee, I see that you are clearly distressed by your transgression. I am also aware that no foul intent was meant and this was simply human error.”

Penny was impressed with Sheldon. He did not freak out nearly as bad as Amy had feared. He actually sensed another person’s feelings. Also, that shirt was yellow?

“Sheldon, I’m so sorry!” Amy cried.

Sheldon walked over to Amy and patted her on the head and shoulders, which was as affectionate as Sheldon got. “I am willing to forgive you. However, you are no longer permitted to wash my clothes. Also, further punishment is required so that such careless destruction does not happen again. You must be spanked.”

“What?!” Penny was horrified. “That’s…!”

Amy stopped crying and her eyes lit up, “Oh. Really?”

“Do the crime, do the time, sister,” Sheldon said plainly.

Amy hid her glee behind a penitent pout, “Well, okay. I’m willing to repent for my sins.” She took Sheldon’s hand, and as he led her into his apartment, Amy looked back to a shocked Penny with a wicked grin. “I’m a bad, bad girl!”

Penny shrugged as the door closed. She foresaw a few more wrecked tees in the future.

Reply

Re: Fill 2/2 evil_little_dog July 27 2013, 01:28:36 UTC
AHAHAHHAAHAH, this is just perfect! Thank you so much for the fill, it's delightful!

Reply

Re: Fill 2/2 leni_ba August 7 2013, 07:54:53 UTC
Not only is it funny, but the characterizations are superb. lol. Great job!

Reply


Leave a comment

Up