Fill: Like Children on a Playground - Clark/Lex, PGnevcolleilJuly 9 2011, 16:24:08 UTC
This is post-series, I suppose, though in an AU where nothing in the series finale after Tess walked into Lex's office actually happened.)
Sometimes he just wants it to be over. He thinks that he would feel it, the moment he woke up, if he could just wake up one day and not have this sickness is his blood. This inexplicable something that makes his pulse race whenever Lex steps into a room. And not the way that Clark's pulse races whenever he approches some other dangerous thing. Nothing feels quite like being near Lex, and sometimes Clark wants it to stop. He wants to be able to look at Lex and truly see him for what he's become. See the pain that he's caused, the lives he has ruined. He doesn't know why his heart is still stuck in he past. Why he can't look at Lex's sneer without remembering his smile; can't see the glow of Lex's Kryptonite ring without remembering how good it had felt to touch him, when Clark was allowed to touch Lex.
Then Clark thinks. He wonders if Lex has the same sickness as Clark. If the reason he can't rid himself of his affliction is because it's not a personal illness, it's an infection. And he and Lex pass it back and forth to one another like children on a playground, breaking one another's toys and picking up one another's germs. Clark talks a big game, but deep down he knows the truth. He could be dead a dozen times over if Lex didn't feel some mercy towards him. Others have stood up to Lex and, one by one, Lex knocked them all down. Why should Clark be any different? The thought keeps Clark up at nights.
He tried putting words to the things he thinks about, once. He labelled that indifference he sometimes wishes for as 'hate'. He called Lex 'evil' and himself 'good.' But if hate is the opposite of what Clark's feeling now, then what he's feeling now must be labelled-
Clark's decided he'd rather not put names to everything. Lex is Lex and Clark is Clark and what they feel for each other can't be comfortably defined any more than it can be stopped.
Re: Fill: Like Children on a Playground - Clark/Lex, PGsvgurlJuly 13 2011, 02:46:19 UTC
I absolutely love this! It was exactly what I was hoping for. You have a great Clark voice and I especially loved the parts with Clark looking at Lex but thinking about the past. It's something I feel is very in character and happens to both of them but Clark more than Lex, because he was so young when he met Lex. Though he's grown up and become mature, I feel he harbors some of that innocence nad naivety when it comes to Lex.
He could be dead a dozen times over if Lex didn't feel some mercy towards him. This line was one of my favorites, because it does show that Clark's not the only one affected. I always imagined their future encounters would be like this (before the finale anyway) with neither of them actually being able to kill each other.
And the last line was perfect. Oh, boys, you two just break my heart.
Re: Fill: Like Children on a Playground - Clark/Lex, PGnevcolleilJuly 13 2011, 16:08:47 UTC
Thanks for the nice feedback :) I'm so glad this is what you were looking for. The only part of the finale I could bring myself to care about was when Clark and Lex met again, and I think what Lex said about the way Clark says his name is very true. It kind of echoes what you said, that Clark never really loses the way he looked at Lex when he was a boy. I love that about them too. I choose to ignore the very end of the finale. I don't think it was either true to the characters as they were written for the show (as opposed to some other version of the Superman mythology) or at all original. Having said that, there's probably nothing the finale could have given us that would have shaken my vision of Clark and Lex's future being the one predicted by their conversation in the manor :p It just feels right that they are the flip side to each other's coin.
Sometimes he just wants it to be over. He thinks that he would feel it, the moment he woke up, if he could just wake up one day and not have this sickness is his blood. This inexplicable something that makes his pulse race whenever Lex steps into a room. And not the way that Clark's pulse races whenever he approches some other dangerous thing. Nothing feels quite like being near Lex, and sometimes Clark wants it to stop. He wants to be able to look at Lex and truly see him for what he's become. See the pain that he's caused, the lives he has ruined. He doesn't know why his heart is still stuck in he past. Why he can't look at Lex's sneer without remembering his smile; can't see the glow of Lex's Kryptonite ring without remembering how good it had felt to touch him, when Clark was allowed to touch Lex.
Then Clark thinks. He wonders if Lex has the same sickness as Clark. If the reason he can't rid himself of his affliction is because it's not a personal illness, it's an infection. And he and Lex pass it back and forth to one another like children on a playground, breaking one another's toys and picking up one another's germs. Clark talks a big game, but deep down he knows the truth. He could be dead a dozen times over if Lex didn't feel some mercy towards him. Others have stood up to Lex and, one by one, Lex knocked them all down. Why should Clark be any different? The thought keeps Clark up at nights.
He tried putting words to the things he thinks about, once. He labelled that indifference he sometimes wishes for as 'hate'. He called Lex 'evil' and himself 'good.' But if hate is the opposite of what Clark's feeling now, then what he's feeling now must be labelled-
Clark's decided he'd rather not put names to everything. Lex is Lex and Clark is Clark and what they feel for each other can't be comfortably defined any more than it can be stopped.
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He could be dead a dozen times over if Lex didn't feel some mercy towards him.
This line was one of my favorites, because it does show that Clark's not the only one affected. I always imagined their future encounters would be like this (before the finale anyway) with neither of them actually being able to kill each other.
And the last line was perfect. Oh, boys, you two just break my heart.
Thanks so much for filling my prompt!
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