Don't You Remember | 38/42
I apologize for the delay in this part. RL was a bit too hectic. Thank you for being patient and understanding <3
Kurt’s smile froze in place. “I’m - I’m sorry?”
The man grinned, leaning his elbow on the bar and propping his chin on his hand. “You look surprised to see me.”
“Who are you?” Kurt asked, not even bothering with trying to remember himself. His mind was going into overdrive like it often did when he was confronted with something particularly shocking from his past. He was imagining a hundred different scenarios that would explain the identity of this person and his previous statement. Maybe they had met on a night when Kurt had been pissed at Sebastian and let this guy buy him drinks just to spite him. Maybe the drinks had led to a few too hot too close dances and some groping and god - he hadn’t cheated. He wouldn’t have cheated.
Right?
The man’s grin wavered and a crease appeared between his eyebrows. “Um, Kurt,” he said, expression flickering between amusement and confusion. “It’s Chandler.”
Nothing jumped out at him with the name like Kurt had expected but somewhere in his mind he knew this Chandler - whoever he was - wasn’t a threat. Well, he wasn’t much of a threat because Kurt still felt distinctly uncomfortable under his curious gaze but something was telling him he was harmless. He still wished Sebastian would come back and help him out here, at least he’d feel a bit more at ease with him nearby.
Chandler was now rubbing at the stubble on his chin with a self conscious expression, eyeing Kurt unsurely. “I mean I know I haven’t shaved in a few days,” he said with a small, nervous laugh. “But come on sweetie, you can’t forget me that easily.”
It was the endearment and the familiar, easy way it had been said that made Kurt stiffen even more. “How do we know each other?” he asked sharply.
“Is this a joke? This is a joke, right?” Chandler said, looking around the bar like he was expecting a swarm of people to jump out with cameras before turning back to Kurt. “Or have I just accidentally come across your twin who just happens to be called Kurt?” When Kurt didn’t smile or reply, Chandler’s face became even more distressed. “Okay maybe your drunk sweetie, or maybe you just think this is funny but you’re actually scaring me Kurt -” Kurt remained silent, trying to place Chandlers name and face with the hazy images in his head. It was apparently too much of a test on Chandler’s patience because he slid to his feet and said, “I’m going to go okay?”
“That’s probably the best thing to do right now,” Kurt said, watching the way Chandler ran a hand through his hair, messing it up and letting it flop onto his forehead. He looked like he wanted to say something but he was staring at Kurt like he was going to explode any second. In the end, he just nodded, cast one last wary look at Kurt and left, bumping into a young couple on his way out.
“Oh man,” a voice said from behind him.
Kurt spun his stool around to face Sebastian. “Where the hell were you?!” he demanded. “I was beginning to think you’d drowned yourselves in the toilet.”
“I was enjoying the show,” Sebastian said, tugging on Kurt’s arm and pulling him to his feet. “His face -” he gestured towards the door through which Chandler had just disappeared. “-was the most entertaining thing I have seen all week.”
Kurt rolled his eyes as they stepped out but a second later, he found himself asking, “Wait so you know him?”
“Everybody knows Chandler,” Sebastian said, wrapping an arm around Kurt’s waist and leaning on him. “He’s annoying as fuck.”
“Who is he?”
“Some friend of yours, I don’t know. He’s crazy.”
“We’re friends?” Kurt asked, suddenly feeling guilty at the thought of the panicked look on Chandler’s face. “I thought I’d cheated on you.”
“What, with Chandler?” Sebastian snorted and dissolved into laughter. “Oh god, baby you can do so much better than him. Besides, it’s not me you cheated on.” Kurt wanted to ask him what he meant by that but Sebastian leaned down to place a sloppy kiss on his cheek and Kurt’s train of thought was broken by a wave of disconnected images of him helping a handsy, drunk Sebastian home so many times in the past.
Kurt smiled and tucked his hand it into the back pocket of Sebastian’s slacks. “You’ve certainly managed to loosen up,” he teased.
“You know what would have been even better?” Sebastian said. “If we’d gone dancing. That would have been awesome. We haven’t been to Pulse in ages.”
Kurt didn’t have to ask to know Pulse was the club they frequented. “Oh god, no.” He said, shaking his head. “I can’t even imagine the headaches I’d get with all the thumping music.”
Sebastian pouted a little until his face broke into a grin. “Well then I have a better idea.” he said, eyes shining with excitement. He leaned over, his mouth brushing Kurt’s ear and it was up to Kurt to maneuver them through the crowd without crashing into other pedestrians. “When we get home,” Sebastian whispered, “You should spread me out on all fours, tie me to the bed and then fuck -”
Sebastian’s cell phone started to ring. He broke off, looking irritated as he stared down at himself like he was expecting his phone to present itself. Kurt laughed as Sebastian drew back to take his phone out of his front pocket, looking more irritated by the second. He huffed when he saw the caller ID and Kurt heard him mutter Fucking cockblocker before he was raising the phone to his ear and saying “What?” in lieu of a greeting. “Yeah,” he continued after a pause. “That’s because we’re not home, idiot.” Whoever was on the other line said something that made Sebastian frown. “Wait - wait, slow down. God, I can’t understand a word you’re saying,” he sighed, leaning even more on Kurt. “Look, killer. We’ll be home in a bit okay? Just hang in there.”
“Was that Blaine?” Kurt asked when Sebastian shoved his phone back into his pocket and readjusted his grip on Kurt’s waist. Sebastian nodded. “What happened?”
“Tyler happened.” Sebastian said with a sigh.
“Who’s Tyler?”
“A long story.”
_
Blaine was sitting with his back to their apartment door, legs spread out in front of him when they got back. “Finally!” he said, scrambling to his feet when he saw Kurt and Sebastian.
“Hi,” Kurt said, not quite meeting Blaine’s gaze as fumbled for his keys. They hadn’t spoken in a while, mostly Kurt’s own doing. Being around Blaine had become a lot harder once he started remembering things about their shared past and this time around, he’d chosen to deal with it on his own. Blaine hadn’t been pushing for contact either though, he’d been fairly MIA himself come to think of it. Kurt was probably going to find out why soon enough.
“Who let you into the building?” Sebastian asked, leaning against the wall while Kurt unlocked the door.
“Mrs. Conner’s,” Blaine said. “She was coming home from the grocery store and saw me banging on your intercom.”
“She just let you in?” Kurt asked as he pushed the door open and stepped inside, flicking on a few lights in the process.
“Of course she did. She knows me. I helped catsit for her once.”
Kurt raised an eyebrow but was immediately distracted by Sebastian tripping over the shoes near the door and almost crashing to the ground. Sebastian giggled when Kurt wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him. “Whoops.”
“How drunk is he?” Blaine asked, frowning at Sebastian.
“I think he’s pretending to be drunker than he is.” Kurt said, staring firmly at Sebastian and trying not to smile at the wide grin Sebastian gave him in return.
“Well I need booze.” Blaine said, rubbing his forehead. “Lots of it.”
He started towards the kitchen with confident familiarity as Kurt dragged Sebastian towards the couch. “Don’t touch any of the expensive stuff!” Sebastian called after Blaine. “Everything else - knock yourself out.” He collapsed onto the couch with a small oof. Kurt moved to unlace and remove Sebastian’s shoes but halfway through, Sebastian grabbed his arm and pulled him up so Kurt collapsed against his chest. “Kiss me,” he said suddenly, voice low.
“Where’s this coming from?” Kurt asked.
“Just kiss me Kurt,” Sebastian demanded impatiently. He grabbed the back of Kurt’s head and pulled him down into a messy kiss that lasted only for a few seconds but left Sebastian’s face flushed pink when Kurt moved back. “Mm, good.” he mumbled before slumping back against the couch and letting Kurt remove his shoes.
Kurt shook his head and set the shoes next to the couch. He stayed on his knees though, between Sebastian’s spread legs, staring absently at the way Sebastian’s shirt had come untucked. He was stalling, he knew he was. But it felt safer here, it felt easy to pretend it was just the two of them and Blaine wasn’t grumbling to himself about some guy named Tyler in their kitchen.
Kurt didn’t want to think of who Tyler was. Blaine had told him he didn’t have a boyfriend, there had been no mention of Blaine dating anyone in the past few weeks and now out of nowhere, this Tyler figure had appeared. Kurt felt cheated and lied to but he tried to hold on to his emotions until he heard the full story.
“Please tell me he didn’t just pass out.”
Kurt swallowed and stood up, turning to find Blaine nursing a beer and staring accusingly at Sebastian. “No,” Kurt said. “He’s very much awake.”
“Mmhm,” Sebastian hummed He reached out and grabbed a fistful of Kurt’s shirt at the small of his back, dragging him down onto the couch next to him. Kurt collapsed against the cushions and barely had time to adjust himself comfortably before Sebastian was shifting, stretching his legs out and plopping his head in Kurt’s lap. Once he was settled, he turned his face towards Blaine and his voice was much more sober and compassionate than before when he said, “Now in slow, clear words - tell me what the fuck that asshole did this time.”
Blaine didn’t answer right away. He looked at Kurt and asked, “Do you know who Tyler is?” Kurt shook his head. Blaine sighed, looking almost - disappointed? “Well I’m sorry I don’t really have the energy to explain right now so do you mind if I just dived right in with him?” he gestured towards Sebastian.
Kurt, ignoring the sting he felt at Blaine’s words, nodded. “Yeah. Sure. Maybe I’ll catch up along the way.”
“Great,” Blaine said with a tired nod. He looked at Sebastian again and took a deep breath before saying, “He came back.”
There was a pause. Kurt looked from Blaine’s face down to Sebastian’s in his lap. Both boys were frowning in silence and Kurt wanted to claw his eyes out with his need to know what was going on.
_
“Kurt, are you even listening to me?”
They’re in a shop - Kurt’s holding up a gorgeous red and blue sweater, feeling the softness of it on his fingers and imaging how well it’ll fit on Sebastian’s shoulders. “Of course I am,” he says, turning the price tag and grinning at the discounted price.
“And?”
“And I think you’re rushing things,” Kurt says simply. “Blaine. You’ve known Tyler for what - two months and you’re already planning on proposing to him. It’s insane.”
“I love him.”
Kurt looks at the sincerity on Blaine’s face and sighs. “It’s too soon. You barely know the guy.”
“You’re one to talk. You fell in love with Sebastian barely two weeks after you started dating him.”
“We’d known each other for six months before that, not counting our time in Lima which is much more than you can say for yourself and Tyler.”
Blaine huffs in frustration and runs a hand through his hair. “Look, I really like this guy.”
“I know,” Kurt says softly. “But really liking the guy is not exactly the strongest reason to propose to him. This just reeks of another Gap Attack, sweetie.”
Blaine scowls at the reminder and Kurt can see the defensive set to his jaw when he says, “Tyler’s nothing like Jeremiah.”
“They certainly share the same head of hair,” Kurt comments with a laugh.
“Kurt, can you please be serious here for a second?”
“I am serious. I’m seriously telling you that you’re making a mistake - what do you think of this sweater? Sebastian always look great in bl - hey, where are you going?”
“To find a friend who doesn’t give shit advice!”
_
“When?” Sebastian asked.
Blaine took a swing of beer. “This morning. Showed up at my doorstep like nothing had happened. He was still wearing his ring.”
“The fucker,” Sebastian murmured.
“He said he’d needed time to figure things out -”
“Bullshit.”
“That’s what I said.” Blaine shook his head, gripping his bottle tighter. “And that’s not even the worst part. He thinks we’re still engaged since he didn’t actually break up with me.”
Sebastian snorted. “Really? Dropping off the face of the earth for three months with no contact didn’t count as breaking up?”
Blaine shrugged and swirled his finger along the countertop. “Apparently not.”
_
“I just don’t understand why you would do that,” Kurt says, shaking his head as he squeezes some shampoo into his hand.
“He wanted someone to support his crazy decision, I did.”
“Why?” Kurt says, working the shampoo into his hair. “Why the hell would you encourage something that is obviously going to do nothing but hurt him?”
“Because he needs to make this decision for himself,” Sebastian says with a shrug, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist and kissing his wet shoulder.
Kurt elbows his chest and pulls free of his grip. “We’re his friends, Sebastian. We’re supposed to be helping him. Not encouraging him to dive face first into a death trap.”
“Stop being so dramatic, Kurt.” Sebastian says with a sigh. “Blaine’s a big boy. If he wants Tyler, let him have Tyler. You remember how many people tried to tell you I wasn’t good for you?” he leans forward again, mouthing at the nape of Kurt’s neck where the last traces of shampoo have just been washed away. “And how you didn’t give a shit about what they said?”
Kurt rolls shoulders, trying to squirm away. “I should have listened,” he says with a roll of his eyes.
Sebastian brings a slippery hand to his waist and holds him steady, grinning against his skin. “But you didn’t,” he teases. “And look how well that turned out for you.”
Kurt turns around, sighing as he wraps his arms around Sebastian’s neck. “I guess it could have been worse,” he says with a smile.
_
Kurt listened to Blaine explain Tyler’s attempts at justifying his disappearance but he was far too busy mulling over the past to concentrate properly.
Tyler. Tyler Warsaw. He’d been a DJ at Pulse where he’d met Blaine for the first time thanks to Kurt and Sebastian’s excellent wingman skills. Kurt tried to remember details but all he could recall was Blaine wanting to get laid - had it been his birthday?
How Blaine had gone from wanting a simple, fun one night stand to a full long term committed relationship - a marriage proposal, for god’s sake - in the span of two weeks was way beyond Kurt’s comprehension.
But then again, this was Blaine. Blaine who had sang a love song to a guy he’d met for coffee twice at his workplace, who thought Sebastian’s aggressive flirting had been harmless, who had given Kurt a promise ring less than a year after they had started dating.
“Blaine,” Sebastian said, his voice suddenly cautious. “Please tell me you didn’t forgive him.”
“Of course not!” Blaine said. “How stupid do you think I am?”
Sebastian didn’t look convinced. “Do you want to forgive him?”
Blaine drained the last of his beer and stood up, “I need something stronger.”
_
“He said what?”
“Yes! He said yes!”
Kurt looks over at Sebastian where he’s got a game controller in one hand a can of Diet Coke in the other. He catches Kurt’s eye and nods his head questioningly.
“Kurt?” Blaine says from the other end of the line. “You still there?”
“Y-yeah,” Kurt says, walking over to Sebastian feeling shaky on his feet. “I’m here. That’s - that’s good.”
“Good? I’m getting married dummy - it’s fucking fantastic!”
Kurt manages a small laugh and leans into Sebastian, dropping his forehead onto his shoulder as Sebastian continues to play his stupid game. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Sebastian around?” Blaine asks.
“No,” Kurt lies. “He’s taking a shower.”
Sebastian turns his head to look at him with raised eyebrows but Kurt pinches his side and he turns back to his game.
“Don’t tell him. I want to surprise him with the news when I come over tonight.”
“Great,” Kurt says. That’s about the only reply he can manage right now. He hangs up and drops the phone on to the couch before looking at Sebastian. “Tyler said yes.”
“Well, fuck.” Sebastian says, pausing the game and turning towards Kurt. “Didn’t see that one coming.”
_
Kurt felt like he had melted into the background after a few minutes. He found his hands threaded through Sebastian’s hair, gently crawling back and forth along his scalp while Blaine and Sebastian talked. Sebastian’s eyes were drooping like they did when he was very tired but Kurt could see the effort he was making to stay awake and listen to Blaine. Kurt didn’t know whether he felt relieved or upset over the fact that Blaine was completely ignoring him, not even trying to seek out any advice from him.
_
“What’s going on?” Kurt asks when he comes home to find Blaine asleep on their couch and Sebastian watching him with a sympathetic expression on his face.
“Oh hey,” Sebastian whispers, standing up and making his way towards Kurt. He takes the garment bags from Kurt’s hand and leans in to kiss the corner of his mouth.
“What’s wrong?” Kurt asks in a low voice, looking at Blaine’s sleeping form.
There’s a pause where Sebastian follows Kurt’s gaze and sighs. “Tyler left,” he says eventually.
“What?” Kurt asks, eyes widening.
“This morning - he just disappeared. Didn’t leave a note, won’t answer his phone - he’s just...gone.”
_
“Blaine, you know what you should do?” Sebastian said when he finally sat up. “Fuck him.”
“Yeah, thanks.” Blaine said with a roll of his eyes.
“No,” Sebastian said. “I actually mean fuck him. Give him the best sex of his life and then dump his sorry ass. That, my friend, is going to be true payba-whoa.” He crashed back down to the couch after attempting to stand up too fast.
“Easy,” Kurt said, gripping his forearm.
“Seb,” Blaine said with a sigh, rubbing his forehead. “Fucking Tyler is the last thing I should be thinking about.”
“What you should be thinking about is getting some sleep,” Kurt said finally. “You look exhausted and in some serious need of rest.” Blaine looked at him properly for the first time that night, his eyes full of sadness and a longing for something Kurt couldn’t place? He didn’t dwell on it too much. “I assume you’re crashing here tonight?”
“Of course he is,” Sebastian said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Blaine nodded. “Yeah I’ll just crash on the couch.”
“We have a guest room,” Kurt reminded him. “Although you might have to clean up a bit because I’ve been using it as a home office lately.”
“No problem,” Blaine said, avoiding Kurt’s gaze as he stood up. “I’m going to go use the bathroom,”
Sebastian slumped against Kurt’s side as Blaine stumbled into the hallway. “Poor guy,” he mumbled.
“Yeah,” Kurt agreed.
“He’ll make it through,” Sebastian said, getting to his feet again, slower this time. He held out a hand to Kurt who was still sitting, gripping both his knees and said softly, “Come on.”
Blaine said goodnight to them as they passed him coming out of the bathroom in the hall. “If you need anything, let me know.” Kurt said to his back as it headed further down the hall to the guest bedroom. Blaine’s hair was sticking up at the back of his head and his shoulders were hunched. He barely mumbled a reply before the door shut behind him. Kurt frowned after him for a moment before following Sebastian into their bedroom.
Sebastian was standing in his briefs and fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. The rest of his clothes lay in a pile on the floor that Kurt would pick up before he went to bed. Sebastian huffed and dropped his hands, looking at Kurt with an exasperated expression. “Help?”
Kurt smiled, making his way over to Sebastian and slowly unbuttoning his shirt for him. Sebastian wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him close even after he’d finished. “How crappy a friend would I be if I asked you to fuck me with Blaine next door?” he asked, nosing at Kurt’s temple.
“Pretty crappy.” Kurt said.
“But I’m really glad to have you here with me right now,” Sebastian said, stepping back to shrug his shirt off. He let it fall to join the rest of his clothes and pulled Kurt on to the bed with him. “Kurt,” he said, turning them both on to their sides and throwing a leg over Kurt’s hip to hold him closer. “Fuck me please.”
He sounded like a child asking for an extra cookie. Kurt was reminded suddenly of how innocent Sebastian could be when he was drunk, even if he was horny as fuck. It sent a wave of affection through him and he turned his head to kiss Sebastian’s cheek, letting his lips remain against the warm skin as he said, “Not tonight.”
“Please?” Sebastian asked again, rolling his hips up gently. “Kurt, it won’t make us bad people.”
“Won’t it?”
“It won’t,” Sebastian insisted. “We can lay off tying me to the bed -”
“But that was the best part -”
“- until next time.” Sebastian said, rolling his hips up harder now. “Just fuck me tonight. However you want.”
Kurt stared at the pleading look on his face, the quiet need and gave in with a press of his mouth against Sebastian’s. Sebastian ended up on his stomach, muffling his moans into the pillow as Kurt fucked him with fast, determined rolls of his hips. He felt slightly guilty, closing his eyes against the wild pleasure of having Sebastian squeeze around him so tightly, so perfectly while his best friend lay miserable not ten steps down the hall. But Sebastian lifted his head back, letting out a soft sigh when Kurt thrust in deep and held himself there, filling him up completely and Kurt lost himself in the look of utter contentment on Sebastian’s face and the thought that he was the one who put it there.
“I never want to forget what this feels like,” Sebastian whispered.
Kurt knew this wasn’t just Sebastian saying he wanted Kurt to fuck him harder, it went deeper than that, right down to the fear Sebastian had carried around the whole week Kurt had been unconscious. “You won’t lose me,” Kurt said, turning his face to kiss behind Sebastian’s ear. “I promise you won’t lose me.”
The words made him think of Blaine for some reason but then Sebastian was turning on to his back, causing Kurt to slip out of him in the process. He pulled Kurt down to bring their mouths together, kissing Kurt like he was drowning and clinging on for dear life. Surprised by the sudden desperation Kurt could feel in every line of Sebastian’s body, Kurt kissed him back as gently and reassuringly as he could.
“Kurt,” Sebastian breathed, skimming his lips along Kurt’s jaw and down to his neck. “I’m really glad you didn’t leave me.” Kurt didn’t say anything. Instead, he readjusted their positions, hooking Sebastian’s legs over his shoulder and thrusting back in with one smooth push of his hips. Sebastian’s neck snapped back, head digging into the pillows. “Oh fuck!”
“Quiet,” Kurt hissed, slapping a hand over Sebastian’s mouth. Sebastian’s eyes grew a bit wider and Kurt could feel his lips stretching into a smile beneath his hand. He tilted his head to the side, regarding Sebastian silently for a second before he smiled, realization trickling in slowly. “You’re an endless book of kinks, aren’t you?”
Sebastian might have tried to say something but it was muffled beneath Kurt’s hand and cut short by Kurt picking up the speed of his thrusts. He reached between their bodies and wrapped a hand around his cock as Kurt continued to fuck him and it took only a couple of rough strokes before Sebastian was coming, shuddering beneath him. It was only after he’d slumped back against the pillow with a sated grin and Kurt was still fucking him that he realized he was nowhere near close to coming. He was still hard and watching Sebastian’s face contort with pleasure had spread a white hot string of desire through his whole body but he still wasn’t feeling the building urgency at the base of his spine.
“Come on,” Sebastian urged him, gripping Kurt’s hips and guiding his movements.
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and thrust harder, hair falling forward into his eyes. After a few seconds of trying to regain that delicious teasing heat that would push him over the edge, he stopped moving.
Maybe it was because he could no longer push away the guilt of focusing on his own pleasure when Blaine was so close. Maybe he was too distracted by Tyler. Either way, he didn’t have the energy to keep going. He fell forward onto Sebastian’s chest, not caring about the drops of come that were drying there.
“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked as Kurt panted against his neck.
“I don’t think it’s going to happen tonight,” Kurt said.
“No, no - don’t say that,” Sebastian said, pushing Kurt off his chest and onto his back. “Here, I’ll ride you.”
“Sebastian,” Kurt said weakly as Sebastian moved to straddle him, “Don’t.”
Sebastian stared at him silently for a few moments. “Why?”
Kurt pressed rubbed a hand over his forehead and sighed, feeling his erection start to wane. “I don’t need it,” he said, tugging Sebastian down next to him and curling his body closer. “We’ll have plenty of time for more orgasms over the weekend.”
Sebastian looked upset but he wrapped an arm around Kurt and let him press himself closer. “Fine. Your loss.”
“It’s not a complete loss,” Kurt said, kissing the side of Sebastian’s neck. “I still got to make you come.”
“Mm. That was fun,” Sebastian said, trailing his knuckles down Kurt’s spine. He fell asleep a few minutes later, chin hooked over Kurt’s head. Kurt slipped out of his grip quietly, knowing sleep was another thing far out of his reach for the moment and began gathering up their discarded clothes. The room was heavy with the smell of sex and the sheets were a complete mess. Not using condoms was a convenience they had apparently started a year ago after Sebastian’s insistence to bareback but it definitely made things messier.
He pulled on his briefs and was just about to go settle on the loveseat with his sketchbook when there was a crash from outside. Making sure Sebastian was still asleep, Kurt left the room and followed the sound of muffled curses into the kitchen. Blaine was on his knees, swiping at the mayonnaise spattered on the floor half heartedly with a tissue.
“What are you doing?” Kurt asked.
Blaine jumped and looked around, eyes sweeping over Kurt’s figure once before he turned back to the floor. Kurt was suddenly aware of how he was standing in nothing but a pair of briefs and he crossed his arms over his chest, trying not to feel self conscious. Blaine had seen him naked after all.
Not the best reassurance, a voice in his head said.
“I was hungry,” Blaine said, getting to his feet and throwing the sodden tissue into the bin. “Trying to make myself a sandwich.”
He leaned against the counter and closed his eyes, rubbing his face and looking so small. Kurt felt a wave of protectiveness for him. “Here,” he said, stepping forward. “Go sit down, I’ll make something for you.”
“You don’t have to,” Blaine said.
“I want to.” He suddenly remembered how dirty his hands were. There was no way he was going to touch food like this. “Give me minute, I’ll be right back.”
Blaine was pressing a glass of water against his forehead when Kurt came back from the bathroom. He’d found a pair of Sebastian’s sweat pants hanging on the hook behind the door and deciding it was better than walking around in his briefs, had pulled them on. Blaine however didn’t seem to like the sight of them because the whole time Kurt made him a sandwich, he continued to glare at the kitchen counter, taking small sips of water.
“Here you go,” Kurt said, sliding the plate across to him. “Do you want anything else?”
“No,” Blaine said shortly. “Thanks.”
Kurt watched him eat in silence for a few seconds, his heart breaking for him. “Blaine,” he said when Blaine continued to ignore him. “Is there a reason you’re avoiding me?”
“Maybe I should be asking you that,” Blaine said.
Kurt knew he should have seen that coming. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I was dealing with a lot of things. I should have at least called.” When Blaine didn’t say anything he added, a little defensively, “You didn’t make much of an effort either you know.”
“I was busy too,” Blaine said. “If you haven’t noticed, I don’t have a nice little husband to help me out when I have a problem.”
Kurt wanted to feel angry at his sniping but he couldn’t, not when he knew the bitterness in Blaine’s voice was stemming from hurt and insecurity.
“You don’t understand,” Blaine says. “You have Sebastian and you have me. Two people who love you with everything they’ve got. I have no one. You have no idea what that feels like. Do you even remember the last time I had a proper relationship? I don’t.” He tears his eyes away and bites at his thumbnail, “I think you were the last one.”
“About Tyler,” Kurt said, trying to break the silence. “I think I remember him.”
“Good for you,” Blaine said, pushing his plate away and gulping down the rest of his water. “Wish I could forget.”
So not the best conversation starter then. “How can I help?” Kurt asked, not knowing what else to do when Blaine dropped his head into his hands. He circled the kitchen island and took the stool next to Blaine, laying a palm on his shoulder. “I want to help.” Blaine didn’t move, staying slumped against the counter. It made Kurt think of all the times Blaine would curl into himself when he felt insecure. “Blaine?” he said softly. Blaine lifted his head and looked at Kurt with wide, sad eyes rimmed red and - Chandler .
It wasn’t me you cheated on.
The realization was completely irrelevant but when Kurt said, “I’m so sorry.” he meant more than just the fact that he was sorry for Blaine’s pain because being reminded of how he’d hurt Blaine only intensified his sympathy for the pain Tyler had put Blaine through.
Blaine leaned in to his arms and buried his face in Kurt’s neck. Kurt held him, silently wishing there was some way he could fix things. They stayed like that for what felt like ages, Blaine’s hard curling against his back and pulling him closer until Kurt almost slid off his stool. When he finally pulled back, Blaine was wiping at his eyes and saying, “Thanks. I really needed that.”
Kurt gave him a small smile. “I’m always here,” he said. “Even if I kind of haven’t been lately but you know I would do anything for ymph.”
The shock of Blaine’s lips on his did make him slide off the stool then. The kiss broke and Kurt didn’t get a chance to say a single word before Blaine was rambling, “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. Kurt - I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that I’m just so fucking messed up right now and -” his voice cracked, the heel of his hands digging into his eyes.
_
“Did you just kiss me?”
“Yes?”
“Blaine.”
“I’m sorry okay? Don’t give me that look. And it’s not like Sebastian cares, he’s sitting right next to you.”
“Yeah Kurt, I don’t care - oh fucking HELL you did not just do that!” he yells at the screen, smashing the buttons on his controller.
Kurt smiles and turns away from Sebastian back to Blaine. Blaine’s grinning but there’s a nervousness underlying it all. “You did say you wanted to make me feel better,” he jokes feebly.
Kurt had said that but he stills feels uncomfortable. Why, he can’t really put his finger on it. It’s not the fact that Blaine had kissed him that’s making him feel awkward, it’s the way he had - needy and desperate and all too familiar.
“Fuck,” Sebastian mutters, falling back against the couch as his character’s life bar empties. “I could use one of those feel better kisses too.”
“Because you got your ass beaten by a computer?” Kurt asks, arching an eyebrow when Sebastian leans over his shoulder.
“By someone named freakshow249 actually.”
“God that’s even worse.”
Blaine averts his eyes when Sebastian kisses Kurt, cupping his face and smiling against his lips. Kurt’s eyes slip shut but in the second before they do, he thinks he sees Blaine press his lips together and frown, like he’s trying to keep from crying.
_
“It’s okay,” Kurt said, cutting off Blaine’s continuous rambling. “It’s okay, just. Relax.”
Blaine shook his head. “I’m still a little drunk.”
“More than a little,” Kurt said with a gentle smile. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
He didn’t know why he followed Blaine into the bedroom and watched him flop onto the mattress. But when he had needed Blaine to be there for him when he was confused and not thinking straight on that roof, Blaine had been there. Kurt wanted to return that favor right now. He blamed the ache in his chest that had been making him feel things stronger than he should on the memories he’d been practically re-living the past few weeks.
Kurt sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out to brush a few messy curls away from Blaine’s forehead. “You okay?”
Blaine shrugged. “I guess.”
Kurt scratched his scalp lightly, smiling when Blaine sighed and pressed his cheek into his pillow and gave him a soft smile in return. Later, when he slipped back into his bed with Sebastian, he couldn’t get the picture of Blaine’s smile out of his head.
“Hey,” Sebastian mumbled, cracking his eye open when he saw Kurt. “Blaine okay?”
Kurt was surprised Sebastian had noticed his absence; he’d been out cold a second ago. “Yeah,” he said, reaching out and tracing his fingers over Sebastian’s jaw. “He’s okay.”
_
“Okay! Okay! Kurt - truth or dare?”
“Truth,” Kurt says, glaring when the group boos and shouts ‘BORING!’
Stella has a grin on her face though and she waves her hand to calm everyone down before she says. “Okay. Then Kurt - if this house catches fire and you can only save Blaine or Sebastian, who would you save?”
“That’s a stupid question,” Kurt says.
“No, no no.” Stella says, shaking her head. “Come on Kurt. You can only save one of them. Who’d you save?”
Kurt laughs and takes a swing of his drink, savoring the sweet taste on his lips as he turns to grin at Sebastian but he finds his husband staring back at him with a serious expression. Kurt frowns, looking past him to where Blaine’s sitting with an equally serious expression, staring pointedly at the bottle in the middle of their little circle. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Kurt turns away and back to Stella.
“That’s not how the questions work,” he says.
“Fuck it. It’s my birthday. I can change the rules if I want.”
Kurt sets his cup down and shifts uncomfortably, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. “This isn’t funny Stella,” he says in a low voice. The game has suddenly gone from a fun to something that is putting him under bright lights with a question he can’t answer without hurting one of the two people he loves most.
“Clock’s ticking Kurt!”
Sebastian and Blaine are unnaturally still and silent and Kurt wants to slap both of them. He wants them to be grinning and joking and nudging each other, not waiting silently for his answer like it actually matters. Don’t they know he’d give his life for both of them? How is he supposed to choose who he’d let die in a fire? Something tells him the answer should be simple, that the ring on his finger should signify who he’d always pick in these situations that but he knows and he’s pretty sure all his friends in this room know it’s not that simple. Blaine and Sebastian both mean so much to him in so many different ways. His love for them stretches and threads together into something inseparable built on years of needing them and having them need him. If they were burning, Kurt would probably just choose to burn with them.
“I’m not answering.”
“That’s cheating!” Stella says. “If you don’t answer, you have to cut holes into the sleeve of that jacket you wore here.”
“That’s Marc Jacobs and it cost 500 dollars!” Kurt exclaims.
“All you have to do is pick a name.” Stella says with a shrug. Kurt wonders how a perfectly sweet girl can turn into the devil with a couple of drinks in her.
Kurt huffs and looks at Sebastian for some help but all Sebastian does is say, “Pick a name Kurt,” in a dangerously calm voice - like he’s trying not to let on how much the answer means to him. It only makes Kurt more furious.
“Ten seconds,” Stella says, “ And then you can say goodbye to your baby!” She holds up Kurt’s jacket and a pair of sharp scissors.
Kurt stares at her as the group starts to count down. Eight - seven - six.
“Kurt.”
He looks at Sebastian, panicked and desperate.
Five - four - three
Kurt holds out his hand to Stella and says, “Give me those.”
When the first strip of fabric falls to the ground and the group cackles with laughter, Kurt looks up and glares at both the boys sitting next to him. He’s relived to find them both grinning at him. He has a feeling they’re as relieved as he is that he hasn’t answered the question.
Kurt’s smile froze in place. “I’m - I’m sorry?”
The man grinned, leaning his elbow on the bar and propping his chin on his hand. “You look surprised to see me.”
“Who are you?” Kurt asked, not even bothering with trying to remember himself. His mind was going into overdrive like it often did when he was confronted with something particularly shocking from his past. He was imagining a hundred different scenarios that would explain the identity of this person and his previous statement. Maybe they had met on a night when Kurt had been pissed at Sebastian and let this guy buy him drinks just to spite him. Maybe the drinks had led to a few too hot too close dances and some groping and god - he hadn’t cheated. He wouldn’t have cheated.
Right?
The man’s grin wavered and a crease appeared between his eyebrows. “Um, Kurt,” he said, expression flickering between amusement and confusion. “It’s Chandler.”
Nothing jumped out at him with the name like Kurt had expected but somewhere in his mind he knew this Chandler - whoever he was - wasn’t a threat. Well, he wasn’t much of a threat because Kurt still felt distinctly uncomfortable under his curious gaze but something was telling him he was harmless. He still wished Sebastian would come back and help him out here, at least he’d feel a bit more at ease with him nearby.
Chandler was now rubbing at the stubble on his chin with a self conscious expression, eyeing Kurt unsurely. “I mean I know I haven’t shaved in a few days,” he said with a small, nervous laugh. “But come on sweetie, you can’t forget me that easily.”
It was the endearment and the familiar, easy way it had been said that made Kurt stiffen even more. “How do we know each other?” he asked sharply.
“Is this a joke? This is a joke, right?” Chandler said, looking around the bar like he was expecting a swarm of people to jump out with cameras before turning back to Kurt. “Or have I just accidentally come across your twin who just happens to be called Kurt?” When Kurt didn’t smile or reply, Chandler’s face became even more distressed. “Okay maybe your drunk sweetie, or maybe you just think this is funny but you’re actually scaring me Kurt -” Kurt remained silent, trying to place Chandlers name and face with the hazy images in his head. It was apparently too much of a test on Chandler’s patience because he slid to his feet and said, “I’m going to go okay?”
“That’s probably the best thing to do right now,” Kurt said, watching the way Chandler ran a hand through his hair, messing it up and letting it flop onto his forehead. He looked like he wanted to say something but he was staring at Kurt like he was going to explode any second. In the end, he just nodded, cast one last wary look at Kurt and left, bumping into a young couple on his way out.
“Oh man,” a voice said from behind him.
Kurt spun his stool around to face Sebastian. “Where the hell were you?!” he demanded. “I was beginning to think you’d drowned yourselves in the toilet.”
“I was enjoying the show,” Sebastian said, tugging on Kurt’s arm and pulling him to his feet. “His face -” he gestured towards the door through which Chandler had just disappeared. “-was the most entertaining thing I have seen all week.”
Kurt rolled his eyes as they stepped out but a second later, he found himself asking, “Wait so you know him?”
“Everybody knows Chandler,” Sebastian said, wrapping an arm around Kurt’s waist and leaning on him. “He’s annoying as fuck.”
“Who is he?”
“Some friend of yours, I don’t know. He’s crazy.”
“We’re friends?” Kurt asked, suddenly feeling guilty at the thought of the panicked look on Chandler’s face. “I thought I’d cheated on you.”
“What, with Chandler?” Sebastian snorted and dissolved into laughter. “Oh god, baby you can do so much better than him. Besides, it’s not me you cheated on.” Kurt wanted to ask him what he meant by that but Sebastian leaned down to place a sloppy kiss on his cheek and Kurt’s train of thought was broken by a wave of disconnected images of him helping a handsy, drunk Sebastian home so many times in the past.
Kurt smiled and tucked his hand it into the back pocket of Sebastian’s slacks. “You’ve certainly managed to loosen up,” he teased.
“You know what would have been even better?” Sebastian said. “If we’d gone dancing. That would have been awesome. We haven’t been to Pulse in ages.”
Kurt didn’t have to ask to know Pulse was the club they frequented. “Oh god, no.” He said, shaking his head. “I can’t even imagine the headaches I’d get with all the thumping music.”
Sebastian pouted a little until his face broke into a grin. “Well then I have a better idea.” he said, eyes shining with excitement. He leaned over, his mouth brushing Kurt’s ear and it was up to Kurt to maneuver them through the crowd without crashing into other pedestrians. “When we get home,” Sebastian whispered, “You should spread me out on all fours, tie me to the bed and then fuck -”
Sebastian’s cell phone started to ring. He broke off, looking irritated as he stared down at himself like he was expecting his phone to present itself. Kurt laughed as Sebastian drew back to take his phone out of his front pocket, looking more irritated by the second. He huffed when he saw the caller ID and Kurt heard him mutter Fucking cockblocker before he was raising the phone to his ear and saying “What?” in lieu of a greeting. “Yeah,” he continued after a pause. “That’s because we’re not home, idiot.” Whoever was on the other line said something that made Sebastian frown. “Wait - wait, slow down. God, I can’t understand a word you’re saying,” he sighed, leaning even more on Kurt. “Look, killer. We’ll be home in a bit okay? Just hang in there.”
“Was that Blaine?” Kurt asked when Sebastian shoved his phone back into his pocket and readjusted his grip on Kurt’s waist. Sebastian nodded. “What happened?”
“Tyler happened.” Sebastian said with a sigh.
“Who’s Tyler?”
“A long story.”
_
Blaine was sitting with his back to their apartment door, legs spread out in front of him when they got back. “Finally!” he said, scrambling to his feet when he saw Kurt and Sebastian.
“Hi,” Kurt said, not quite meeting Blaine’s gaze as fumbled for his keys. They hadn’t spoken in a while, mostly Kurt’s own doing. Being around Blaine had become a lot harder once he started remembering things about their shared past and this time around, he’d chosen to deal with it on his own. Blaine hadn’t been pushing for contact either though, he’d been fairly MIA himself come to think of it. Kurt was probably going to find out why soon enough.
“Who let you into the building?” Sebastian asked, leaning against the wall while Kurt unlocked the door.
“Mrs. Conner’s,” Blaine said. “She was coming home from the grocery store and saw me banging on your intercom.”
“She just let you in?” Kurt asked as he pushed the door open and stepped inside, flicking on a few lights in the process.
“Of course she did. She knows me. I helped catsit for her once.”
Kurt raised an eyebrow but was immediately distracted by Sebastian tripping over the shoes near the door and almost crashing to the ground. Sebastian giggled when Kurt wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him. “Whoops.”
“How drunk is he?” Blaine asked, frowning at Sebastian.
“I think he’s pretending to be drunker than he is.” Kurt said, staring firmly at Sebastian and trying not to smile at the wide grin Sebastian gave him in return.
“Well I need booze.” Blaine said, rubbing his forehead. “Lots of it.”
He started towards the kitchen with confident familiarity as Kurt dragged Sebastian towards the couch. “Don’t touch any of the expensive stuff!” Sebastian called after Blaine. “Everything else - knock yourself out.” He collapsed onto the couch with a small oof. Kurt moved to unlace and remove Sebastian’s shoes but halfway through, Sebastian grabbed his arm and pulled him up so Kurt collapsed against his chest. “Kiss me,” he said suddenly, voice low.
“Where’s this coming from?” Kurt asked.
“Just kiss me Kurt,” Sebastian demanded impatiently. He grabbed the back of Kurt’s head and pulled him down into a messy kiss that lasted only for a few seconds but left Sebastian’s face flushed pink when Kurt moved back. “Mm, good.” he mumbled before slumping back against the couch and letting Kurt remove his shoes.
Kurt shook his head and set the shoes next to the couch. He stayed on his knees though, between Sebastian’s spread legs, staring absently at the way Sebastian’s shirt had come untucked. He was stalling, he knew he was. But it felt safer here, it felt easy to pretend it was just the two of them and Blaine wasn’t grumbling to himself about some guy named Tyler in their kitchen.
Kurt didn’t want to think of who Tyler was. Blaine had told him he didn’t have a boyfriend, there had been no mention of Blaine dating anyone in the past few weeks and now out of nowhere, this Tyler figure had appeared. Kurt felt cheated and lied to but he tried to hold on to his emotions until he heard the full story.
“Please tell me he didn’t just pass out.”
Kurt swallowed and stood up, turning to find Blaine nursing a beer and staring accusingly at Sebastian. “No,” Kurt said. “He’s very much awake.”
“Mmhm,” Sebastian hummed He reached out and grabbed a fistful of Kurt’s shirt at the small of his back, dragging him down onto the couch next to him. Kurt collapsed against the cushions and barely had time to adjust himself comfortably before Sebastian was shifting, stretching his legs out and plopping his head in Kurt’s lap. Once he was settled, he turned his face towards Blaine and his voice was much more sober and compassionate than before when he said, “Now in slow, clear words - tell me what the fuck that asshole did this time.”
Blaine didn’t answer right away. He looked at Kurt and asked, “Do you know who Tyler is?” Kurt shook his head. Blaine sighed, looking almost - disappointed? “Well I’m sorry I don’t really have the energy to explain right now so do you mind if I just dived right in with him?” he gestured towards Sebastian.
Kurt, ignoring the sting he felt at Blaine’s words, nodded. “Yeah. Sure. Maybe I’ll catch up along the way.”
“Great,” Blaine said with a tired nod. He looked at Sebastian again and took a deep breath before saying, “He came back.”
There was a pause. Kurt looked from Blaine’s face down to Sebastian’s in his lap. Both boys were frowning in silence and Kurt wanted to claw his eyes out with his need to know what was going on.
_
“Kurt, are you even listening to me?”
They’re in a shop - Kurt’s holding up a gorgeous red and blue sweater, feeling the softness of it on his fingers and imaging how well it’ll fit on Sebastian’s shoulders. “Of course I am,” he says, turning the price tag and grinning at the discounted price.
“And?”
“And I think you’re rushing things,” Kurt says simply. “Blaine. You’ve known Tyler for what - two months and you’re already planning on proposing to him. It’s insane.”
“I love him.”
Kurt looks at the sincerity on Blaine’s face and sighs. “It’s too soon. You barely know the guy.”
“You’re one to talk. You fell in love with Sebastian barely two weeks after you started dating him.”
“We’d known each other for six months before that, not counting our time in Lima which is much more than you can say for yourself and Tyler.”
Blaine huffs in frustration and runs a hand through his hair. “Look, I really like this guy.”
“I know,” Kurt says softly. “But really liking the guy is not exactly the strongest reason to propose to him. This just reeks of another Gap Attack, sweetie.”
Blaine scowls at the reminder and Kurt can see the defensive set to his jaw when he says, “Tyler’s nothing like Jeremiah.”
“They certainly share the same head of hair,” Kurt comments with a laugh.
“Kurt, can you please be serious here for a second?”
“I am serious. I’m seriously telling you that you’re making a mistake - what do you think of this sweater? Sebastian always look great in bl - hey, where are you going?”
“To find a friend who doesn’t give shit advice!”
_
“When?” Sebastian asked.
Blaine took a swing of beer. “This morning. Showed up at my doorstep like nothing had happened. He was still wearing his ring.”
“The fucker,” Sebastian murmured.
“He said he’d needed time to figure things out -”
“Bullshit.”
“That’s what I said.” Blaine shook his head, gripping his bottle tighter. “And that’s not even the worst part. He thinks we’re still engaged since he didn’t actually break up with me.”
Sebastian snorted. “Really? Dropping off the face of the earth for three months with no contact didn’t count as breaking up?”
Blaine shrugged and swirled his finger along the countertop. “Apparently not.”
_
“I just don’t understand why you would do that,” Kurt says, shaking his head as he squeezes some shampoo into his hand.
“He wanted someone to support his crazy decision, I did.”
“Why?” Kurt says, working the shampoo into his hair. “Why the hell would you encourage something that is obviously going to do nothing but hurt him?”
“Because he needs to make this decision for himself,” Sebastian says with a shrug, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist and kissing his wet shoulder.
Kurt elbows his chest and pulls free of his grip. “We’re his friends, Sebastian. We’re supposed to be helping him. Not encouraging him to dive face first into a death trap.”
“Stop being so dramatic, Kurt.” Sebastian says with a sigh. “Blaine’s a big boy. If he wants Tyler, let him have Tyler. You remember how many people tried to tell you I wasn’t good for you?” he leans forward again, mouthing at the nape of Kurt’s neck where the last traces of shampoo have just been washed away. “And how you didn’t give a shit about what they said?”
Kurt rolls shoulders, trying to squirm away. “I should have listened,” he says with a roll of his eyes.
Sebastian brings a slippery hand to his waist and holds him steady, grinning against his skin. “But you didn’t,” he teases. “And look how well that turned out for you.”
Kurt turns around, sighing as he wraps his arms around Sebastian’s neck. “I guess it could have been worse,” he says with a smile.
_
Kurt listened to Blaine explain Tyler’s attempts at justifying his disappearance but he was far too busy mulling over the past to concentrate properly.
Tyler. Tyler Warsaw. He’d been a DJ at Pulse where he’d met Blaine for the first time thanks to Kurt and Sebastian’s excellent wingman skills. Kurt tried to remember details but all he could recall was Blaine wanting to get laid - had it been his birthday?
How Blaine had gone from wanting a simple, fun one night stand to a full long term committed relationship - a marriage proposal, for god’s sake - in the span of two weeks was way beyond Kurt’s comprehension.
But then again, this was Blaine. Blaine who had sang a love song to a guy he’d met for coffee twice at his workplace, who thought Sebastian’s aggressive flirting had been harmless, who had given Kurt a promise ring less than a year after they had started dating.
“Blaine,” Sebastian said, his voice suddenly cautious. “Please tell me you didn’t forgive him.”
“Of course not!” Blaine said. “How stupid do you think I am?”
Sebastian didn’t look convinced. “Do you want to forgive him?”
Blaine drained the last of his beer and stood up, “I need something stronger.”
_
“He said what?”
“Yes! He said yes!”
Kurt looks over at Sebastian where he’s got a game controller in one hand a can of Diet Coke in the other. He catches Kurt’s eye and nods his head questioningly.
“Kurt?” Blaine says from the other end of the line. “You still there?”
“Y-yeah,” Kurt says, walking over to Sebastian feeling shaky on his feet. “I’m here. That’s - that’s good.”
“Good? I’m getting married dummy - it’s fucking fantastic!”
Kurt manages a small laugh and leans into Sebastian, dropping his forehead onto his shoulder as Sebastian continues to play his stupid game. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Sebastian around?” Blaine asks.
“No,” Kurt lies. “He’s taking a shower.”
Sebastian turns his head to look at him with raised eyebrows but Kurt pinches his side and he turns back to his game.
“Don’t tell him. I want to surprise him with the news when I come over tonight.”
“Great,” Kurt says. That’s about the only reply he can manage right now. He hangs up and drops the phone on to the couch before looking at Sebastian. “Tyler said yes.”
“Well, fuck.” Sebastian says, pausing the game and turning towards Kurt. “Didn’t see that one coming.”
_
Kurt felt like he had melted into the background after a few minutes. He found his hands threaded through Sebastian’s hair, gently crawling back and forth along his scalp while Blaine and Sebastian talked. Sebastian’s eyes were drooping like they did when he was very tired but Kurt could see the effort he was making to stay awake and listen to Blaine. Kurt didn’t know whether he felt relieved or upset over the fact that Blaine was completely ignoring him, not even trying to seek out any advice from him.
_
“What’s going on?” Kurt asks when he comes home to find Blaine asleep on their couch and Sebastian watching him with a sympathetic expression on his face.
“Oh hey,” Sebastian whispers, standing up and making his way towards Kurt. He takes the garment bags from Kurt’s hand and leans in to kiss the corner of his mouth.
“What’s wrong?” Kurt asks in a low voice, looking at Blaine’s sleeping form.
There’s a pause where Sebastian follows Kurt’s gaze and sighs. “Tyler left,” he says eventually.
“What?” Kurt asks, eyes widening.
“This morning - he just disappeared. Didn’t leave a note, won’t answer his phone - he’s just...gone.”
_
“Blaine, you know what you should do?” Sebastian said when he finally sat up. “Fuck him.”
“Yeah, thanks.” Blaine said with a roll of his eyes.
“No,” Sebastian said. “I actually mean fuck him. Give him the best sex of his life and then dump his sorry ass. That, my friend, is going to be true payba-whoa.” He crashed back down to the couch after attempting to stand up too fast.
“Easy,” Kurt said, gripping his forearm.
“Seb,” Blaine said with a sigh, rubbing his forehead. “Fucking Tyler is the last thing I should be thinking about.”
“What you should be thinking about is getting some sleep,” Kurt said finally. “You look exhausted and in some serious need of rest.” Blaine looked at him properly for the first time that night, his eyes full of sadness and a longing for something Kurt couldn’t place? He didn’t dwell on it too much. “I assume you’re crashing here tonight?”
“Of course he is,” Sebastian said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Blaine nodded. “Yeah I’ll just crash on the couch.”
“We have a guest room,” Kurt reminded him. “Although you might have to clean up a bit because I’ve been using it as a home office lately.”
“No problem,” Blaine said, avoiding Kurt’s gaze as he stood up. “I’m going to go use the bathroom,”
Sebastian slumped against Kurt’s side as Blaine stumbled into the hallway. “Poor guy,” he mumbled.
“Yeah,” Kurt agreed.
“He’ll make it through,” Sebastian said, getting to his feet again, slower this time. He held out a hand to Kurt who was still sitting, gripping both his knees and said softly, “Come on.”
Blaine said goodnight to them as they passed him coming out of the bathroom in the hall. “If you need anything, let me know.” Kurt said to his back as it headed further down the hall to the guest bedroom. Blaine’s hair was sticking up at the back of his head and his shoulders were hunched. He barely mumbled a reply before the door shut behind him. Kurt frowned after him for a moment before following Sebastian into their bedroom.
Sebastian was standing in his briefs and fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. The rest of his clothes lay in a pile on the floor that Kurt would pick up before he went to bed. Sebastian huffed and dropped his hands, looking at Kurt with an exasperated expression. “Help?”
Kurt smiled, making his way over to Sebastian and slowly unbuttoning his shirt for him. Sebastian wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him close even after he’d finished. “How crappy a friend would I be if I asked you to fuck me with Blaine next door?” he asked, nosing at Kurt’s temple.
“Pretty crappy.” Kurt said.
“But I’m really glad to have you here with me right now,” Sebastian said, stepping back to shrug his shirt off. He let it fall to join the rest of his clothes and pulled Kurt on to the bed with him. “Kurt,” he said, turning them both on to their sides and throwing a leg over Kurt’s hip to hold him closer. “Fuck me please.”
He sounded like a child asking for an extra cookie. Kurt was reminded suddenly of how innocent Sebastian could be when he was drunk, even if he was horny as fuck. It sent a wave of affection through him and he turned his head to kiss Sebastian’s cheek, letting his lips remain against the warm skin as he said, “Not tonight.”
“Please?” Sebastian asked again, rolling his hips up gently. “Kurt, it won’t make us bad people.”
“Won’t it?”
“It won’t,” Sebastian insisted. “We can lay off tying me to the bed -”
“But that was the best part -”
“- until next time.” Sebastian said, rolling his hips up harder now. “Just fuck me tonight. However you want.”
Kurt stared at the pleading look on his face, the quiet need and gave in with a press of his mouth against Sebastian’s. Sebastian ended up on his stomach, muffling his moans into the pillow as Kurt fucked him with fast, determined rolls of his hips. He felt slightly guilty, closing his eyes against the wild pleasure of having Sebastian squeeze around him so tightly, so perfectly while his best friend lay miserable not ten steps down the hall. But Sebastian lifted his head back, letting out a soft sigh when Kurt thrust in deep and held himself there, filling him up completely and Kurt lost himself in the look of utter contentment on Sebastian’s face and the thought that he was the one who put it there.
“I never want to forget what this feels like,” Sebastian whispered.
Kurt knew this wasn’t just Sebastian saying he wanted Kurt to fuck him harder, it went deeper than that, right down to the fear Sebastian had carried around the whole week Kurt had been unconscious. “You won’t lose me,” Kurt said, turning his face to kiss behind Sebastian’s ear. “I promise you won’t lose me.”
The words made him think of Blaine for some reason but then Sebastian was turning on to his back, causing Kurt to slip out of him in the process. He pulled Kurt down to bring their mouths together, kissing Kurt like he was drowning and clinging on for dear life. Surprised by the sudden desperation Kurt could feel in every line of Sebastian’s body, Kurt kissed him back as gently and reassuringly as he could.
“Kurt,” Sebastian breathed, skimming his lips along Kurt’s jaw and down to his neck. “I’m really glad you didn’t leave me.” Kurt didn’t say anything. Instead, he readjusted their positions, hooking Sebastian’s legs over his shoulder and thrusting back in with one smooth push of his hips. Sebastian’s neck snapped back, head digging into the pillows. “Oh fuck!”
“Quiet,” Kurt hissed, slapping a hand over Sebastian’s mouth. Sebastian’s eyes grew a bit wider and Kurt could feel his lips stretching into a smile beneath his hand. He tilted his head to the side, regarding Sebastian silently for a second before he smiled, realization trickling in slowly. “You’re an endless book of kinks, aren’t you?”
Sebastian might have tried to say something but it was muffled beneath Kurt’s hand and cut short by Kurt picking up the speed of his thrusts. He reached between their bodies and wrapped a hand around his cock as Kurt continued to fuck him and it took only a couple of rough strokes before Sebastian was coming, shuddering beneath him. It was only after he’d slumped back against the pillow with a sated grin and Kurt was still fucking him that he realized he was nowhere near close to coming. He was still hard and watching Sebastian’s face contort with pleasure had spread a white hot string of desire through his whole body but he still wasn’t feeling the building urgency at the base of his spine.
“Come on,” Sebastian urged him, gripping Kurt’s hips and guiding his movements.
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and thrust harder, hair falling forward into his eyes. After a few seconds of trying to regain that delicious teasing heat that would push him over the edge, he stopped moving.
Maybe it was because he could no longer push away the guilt of focusing on his own pleasure when Blaine was so close. Maybe he was too distracted by Tyler. Either way, he didn’t have the energy to keep going. He fell forward onto Sebastian’s chest, not caring about the drops of come that were drying there.
“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked as Kurt panted against his neck.
“I don’t think it’s going to happen tonight,” Kurt said.
“No, no - don’t say that,” Sebastian said, pushing Kurt off his chest and onto his back. “Here, I’ll ride you.”
“Sebastian,” Kurt said weakly as Sebastian moved to straddle him, “Don’t.”
Sebastian stared at him silently for a few moments. “Why?”
Kurt pressed rubbed a hand over his forehead and sighed, feeling his erection start to wane. “I don’t need it,” he said, tugging Sebastian down next to him and curling his body closer. “We’ll have plenty of time for more orgasms over the weekend.”
Sebastian looked upset but he wrapped an arm around Kurt and let him press himself closer. “Fine. Your loss.”
“It’s not a complete loss,” Kurt said, kissing the side of Sebastian’s neck. “I still got to make you come.”
“Mm. That was fun,” Sebastian said, trailing his knuckles down Kurt’s spine. He fell asleep a few minutes later, chin hooked over Kurt’s head. Kurt slipped out of his grip quietly, knowing sleep was another thing far out of his reach for the moment and began gathering up their discarded clothes. The room was heavy with the smell of sex and the sheets were a complete mess. Not using condoms was a convenience they had apparently started a year ago after Sebastian’s insistence to bareback but it definitely made things messier.
He pulled on his briefs and was just about to go settle on the loveseat with his sketchbook when there was a crash from outside. Making sure Sebastian was still asleep, Kurt left the room and followed the sound of muffled curses into the kitchen. Blaine was on his knees, swiping at the mayonnaise spattered on the floor half heartedly with a tissue.
“What are you doing?” Kurt asked.
Blaine jumped and looked around, eyes sweeping over Kurt’s figure once before he turned back to the floor. Kurt was suddenly aware of how he was standing in nothing but a pair of briefs and he crossed his arms over his chest, trying not to feel self conscious. Blaine had seen him naked after all.
Not the best reassurance, a voice in his head said.
“I was hungry,” Blaine said, getting to his feet and throwing the sodden tissue into the bin. “Trying to make myself a sandwich.”
He leaned against the counter and closed his eyes, rubbing his face and looking so small. Kurt felt a wave of protectiveness for him. “Here,” he said, stepping forward. “Go sit down, I’ll make something for you.”
“You don’t have to,” Blaine said.
“I want to.” He suddenly remembered how dirty his hands were. There was no way he was going to touch food like this. “Give me minute, I’ll be right back.”
Blaine was pressing a glass of water against his forehead when Kurt came back from the bathroom. He’d found a pair of Sebastian’s sweat pants hanging on the hook behind the door and deciding it was better than walking around in his briefs, had pulled them on. Blaine however didn’t seem to like the sight of them because the whole time Kurt made him a sandwich, he continued to glare at the kitchen counter, taking small sips of water.
“Here you go,” Kurt said, sliding the plate across to him. “Do you want anything else?”
“No,” Blaine said shortly. “Thanks.”
Kurt watched him eat in silence for a few seconds, his heart breaking for him. “Blaine,” he said when Blaine continued to ignore him. “Is there a reason you’re avoiding me?”
“Maybe I should be asking you that,” Blaine said.
Kurt knew he should have seen that coming. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I was dealing with a lot of things. I should have at least called.” When Blaine didn’t say anything he added, a little defensively, “You didn’t make much of an effort either you know.”
“I was busy too,” Blaine said. “If you haven’t noticed, I don’t have a nice little husband to help me out when I have a problem.”
Kurt wanted to feel angry at his sniping but he couldn’t, not when he knew the bitterness in Blaine’s voice was stemming from hurt and insecurity.
“You don’t understand,” Blaine says. “You have Sebastian and you have me. Two people who love you with everything they’ve got. I have no one. You have no idea what that feels like. Do you even remember the last time I had a proper relationship? I don’t.” He tears his eyes away and bites at his thumbnail, “I think you were the last one.”
“About Tyler,” Kurt said, trying to break the silence. “I think I remember him.”
“Good for you,” Blaine said, pushing his plate away and gulping down the rest of his water. “Wish I could forget.”
So not the best conversation starter then. “How can I help?” Kurt asked, not knowing what else to do when Blaine dropped his head into his hands. He circled the kitchen island and took the stool next to Blaine, laying a palm on his shoulder. “I want to help.” Blaine didn’t move, staying slumped against the counter. It made Kurt think of all the times Blaine would curl into himself when he felt insecure. “Blaine?” he said softly. Blaine lifted his head and looked at Kurt with wide, sad eyes rimmed red and - Chandler .
It wasn’t me you cheated on.
The realization was completely irrelevant but when Kurt said, “I’m so sorry.” he meant more than just the fact that he was sorry for Blaine’s pain because being reminded of how he’d hurt Blaine only intensified his sympathy for the pain Tyler had put Blaine through.
Blaine leaned in to his arms and buried his face in Kurt’s neck. Kurt held him, silently wishing there was some way he could fix things. They stayed like that for what felt like ages, Blaine’s hard curling against his back and pulling him closer until Kurt almost slid off his stool. When he finally pulled back, Blaine was wiping at his eyes and saying, “Thanks. I really needed that.”
Kurt gave him a small smile. “I’m always here,” he said. “Even if I kind of haven’t been lately but you know I would do anything for ymph.”
The shock of Blaine’s lips on his did make him slide off the stool then. The kiss broke and Kurt didn’t get a chance to say a single word before Blaine was rambling, “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. Kurt - I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that I’m just so fucking messed up right now and -” his voice cracked, the heel of his hands digging into his eyes.
_
“Did you just kiss me?”
“Yes?”
“Blaine.”
“I’m sorry okay? Don’t give me that look. And it’s not like Sebastian cares, he’s sitting right next to you.”
“Yeah Kurt, I don’t care - oh fucking HELL you did not just do that!” he yells at the screen, smashing the buttons on his controller.
Kurt smiles and turns away from Sebastian back to Blaine. Blaine’s grinning but there’s a nervousness underlying it all. “You did say you wanted to make me feel better,” he jokes feebly.
Kurt had said that but he stills feels uncomfortable. Why, he can’t really put his finger on it. It’s not the fact that Blaine had kissed him that’s making him feel awkward, it’s the way he had - needy and desperate and all too familiar.
“Fuck,” Sebastian mutters, falling back against the couch as his character’s life bar empties. “I could use one of those feel better kisses too.”
“Because you got your ass beaten by a computer?” Kurt asks, arching an eyebrow when Sebastian leans over his shoulder.
“By someone named freakshow249 actually.”
“God that’s even worse.”
Blaine averts his eyes when Sebastian kisses Kurt, cupping his face and smiling against his lips. Kurt’s eyes slip shut but in the second before they do, he thinks he sees Blaine press his lips together and frown, like he’s trying to keep from crying.
_
“It’s okay,” Kurt said, cutting off Blaine’s continuous rambling. “It’s okay, just. Relax.”
Blaine shook his head. “I’m still a little drunk.”
“More than a little,” Kurt said with a gentle smile. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
He didn’t know why he followed Blaine into the bedroom and watched him flop onto the mattress. But when he had needed Blaine to be there for him when he was confused and not thinking straight on that roof, Blaine had been there. Kurt wanted to return that favor right now. He blamed the ache in his chest that had been making him feel things stronger than he should on the memories he’d been practically re-living the past few weeks.
Kurt sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out to brush a few messy curls away from Blaine’s forehead. “You okay?”
Blaine shrugged. “I guess.”
Kurt scratched his scalp lightly, smiling when Blaine sighed and pressed his cheek into his pillow and gave him a soft smile in return. Later, when he slipped back into his bed with Sebastian, he couldn’t get the picture of Blaine’s smile out of his head.
“Hey,” Sebastian mumbled, cracking his eye open when he saw Kurt. “Blaine okay?”
Kurt was surprised Sebastian had noticed his absence; he’d been out cold a second ago. “Yeah,” he said, reaching out and tracing his fingers over Sebastian’s jaw. “He’s okay.”
_
“Okay! Okay! Kurt - truth or dare?”
“Truth,” Kurt says, glaring when the group boos and shouts ‘BORING!’
Stella has a grin on her face though and she waves her hand to calm everyone down before she says. “Okay. Then Kurt - if this house catches fire and you can only save Blaine or Sebastian, who would you save?”
“That’s a stupid question,” Kurt says.
“No, no no.” Stella says, shaking her head. “Come on Kurt. You can only save one of them. Who’d you save?”
Kurt laughs and takes a swing of his drink, savoring the sweet taste on his lips as he turns to grin at Sebastian but he finds his husband staring back at him with a serious expression. Kurt frowns, looking past him to where Blaine’s sitting with an equally serious expression, staring pointedly at the bottle in the middle of their little circle. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Kurt turns away and back to Stella.
“That’s not how the questions work,” he says.
“Fuck it. It’s my birthday. I can change the rules if I want.”
Kurt sets his cup down and shifts uncomfortably, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. “This isn’t funny Stella,” he says in a low voice. The game has suddenly gone from a fun to something that is putting him under bright lights with a question he can’t answer without hurting one of the two people he loves most.
“Clock’s ticking Kurt!”
Sebastian and Blaine are unnaturally still and silent and Kurt wants to slap both of them. He wants them to be grinning and joking and nudging each other, not waiting silently for his answer like it actually matters. Don’t they know he’d give his life for both of them? How is he supposed to choose who he’d let die in a fire? Something tells him the answer should be simple, that the ring on his finger should signify who he’d always pick in these situations that but he knows and he’s pretty sure all his friends in this room know it’s not that simple. Blaine and Sebastian both mean so much to him in so many different ways. His love for them stretches and threads together into something inseparable built on years of needing them and having them need him. If they were burning, Kurt would probably just choose to burn with them.
“I’m not answering.”
“That’s cheating!” Stella says. “If you don’t answer, you have to cut holes into the sleeve of that jacket you wore here.”
“That’s Marc Jacobs and it cost 500 dollars!” Kurt exclaims.
“All you have to do is pick a name.” Stella says with a shrug. Kurt wonders how a perfectly sweet girl can turn into the devil with a couple of drinks in her.
Kurt huffs and looks at Sebastian for some help but all Sebastian does is say, “Pick a name Kurt,” in a dangerously calm voice - like he’s trying not to let on how much the answer means to him. It only makes Kurt more furious.
“Ten seconds,” Stella says, “ And then you can say goodbye to your baby!” She holds up Kurt’s jacket and a pair of sharp scissors.
Kurt stares at her as the group starts to count down. Eight - seven - six.
“Kurt.”
He looks at Sebastian, panicked and desperate.
Five - four - three
Kurt holds out his hand to Stella and says, “Give me those.”
When the first strip of fabric falls to the ground and the group cackles with laughter, Kurt looks up and glares at both the boys sitting next to him. He’s relived to find them both grinning at him. He has a feeling they’re as relieved as he is that he hasn’t answered the question.