(no subject)
hi... im really bored.. today was cool.. i went to my sisters and got all my stuff.. and i took it to my moms.. yeah.. sad huh.. so then i came back to joleas and did nothing lol.. just like.. hung out with her and stuff.. lex called me.. he told me he had mixed feelings.. yeah.. that felt.. great.. but i mean.. i cant blame him.. i just .. dont want to be with him if he doesnt want this totally.. i dont want him having regrets or doubts or not being sure.. and i can really tell all of that.. but he swears its not that like.. i really i just dont know .. but like.. i dono.. i just wish it would go back to the way it was.. but i dono.. the only way it will is if he wants it to.. and right now im not sure thats what he wants.. im not sure hes even sure of what he wants.. i dono.. but i do know.. ill be here.. even if he doesnt want this right now.. ill wait.. if thats what he wants.. buut.. i dont think he'll ever admit thats what he wants.. i just wish he would.. i dono.. maybe im just.. stupid.. im sorry im rambling about this stuff but i just really needed to vent lol.. yeah.. so wow.. i layed in the grass and talked to him for forever.. and it felt really good.. i missed him so much.. and just being with him.. and knowing that i had someone who loved me more than neone else did.. annd would be there no matter what.. yeah.. i dono.. its sorta like that.. just not all the way.. but yeah.. while i was laying there.. i got bit by a bug.. and have a big itchy bug bite.. annd i got attacked by cats.. annd i thought the neighbors were shooting at me again.. but it was just fireworks.. i dont really understand why there was fireworks in the middle of june.. but yeah.. crazy ppl..yeah.. alright well i think im done updating.. and if jolea doesnt start being crazy like we were 5 minutes ago im going to fall asleep like.. soon.. see ya