The commander comes to a crossroads.
Sporting a new Albert Wesker inspired hiarcut now. 
All the sexy you love, but with a brand new coat of hairjell. Hopefully I can train my hair to not need the jell, otherwise this aint lasting long. Can you honestly see ME buying haircare products? I'm just using some crap that happens to be in my bathroom. I agree with wesker. Slicked back dirty blonde hair + sunglasses = pimpin on ice.
---note: everyone gets one fucking emo post, here comes mine. Make fun of it and I swear you're a bastard born of my seed when I fucked your mom after killing Vannilla Ice when I travelled back in time to the 80's.
Now to the seriose issue. That of Alyece, my girlfriend. I've seen here once since Valentines Day (3 wks ago) and only got to see her for an hour. We sat in her church, then afterwords I was blown off for homework. I felt kinda hurt. 3 weeks and all I got was a hug. Not even one she wanted I think. She's uncomfortable in public settings. I want to kiss her, she doesn't want to be seen doing more than holding hands in public. It was all I could do to stop from cuddling on her in the damned church pew. She knows I hate church. I sit inches from her for an hour, bored stiff, and I can't touch or speak. Finaly it ends, I hafta wait another 30 min for her choir practice. Then, the brush off. Fuck me and call me a bitch.
Not her, no, I'd not go so far. She's a nice, sweet, beautiful girl. I do believe I love her, but damned if I didn't drive home with enough sexual frustration to choke the Maque De Sod. It's not even sex. I came to grips with the "you're not getting any" thing a while back. It was just this all over feeling of "I could be holding her right now, but I don't get to". The best way I can describe it is if you waited for the dryer full of towels to finish, grabbed a big armfull of soft, fluffly, warm towels, and someone snatched them away from you and said "Wait till next month". I almost wanted to cry, but I had my angry whiteboy music to remind me that big boys don't cry, we rock the fuck out. Atleast I still gots me sense of humor. (insert Popeye laugh)
Here's my thing. I love her, but if there's not enough time in her life for me I'm not going to sit around wasting my time on her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and this has been true. But fuck. 3 weeks to a month at a time? That's not fond that's forgetfull. I feel like I'm on the back burner. I might just hafta cut and run. There's other oppurtunities out there. I'm 17 damn it. I'm about to be in college. Part of me wants to stay with her. Part of me wants to find a girl more suitable to me. Part of me wants to be the "playboy" and have tons of wild annonymous sex around campus for four years.
I'm a fucking virgin. for chirst's sakes, and I know I can't hold out for mairrage like her. I know more about sex than most dumb-shits who've got it on several times, but shit if I haven't gotten as much as a hand job. I'm confident that I'd be good in the sack. I'm definitely down with the foreplay. I can make Alyece swoon with what little access to the neck, face, legs, and arms I get. She's got this wierd thing about her stomache, won't let me near it. I love necks now btw. If a man's got a territory mapped out in the world of errogenous zones, I'd hafta call the neck. I love the way they look, so slender and soft, and apparently I'm pretty good with my work there too ;). No hickies even ;). Ok, off topic. See, sexual frustration.
I didn't get to talk to her about it today, so I'm venting. I've only really mentioned this to one person, and atleast it's femanin advice. I just hate to lose someone I've put so much effort into.
My list of incompatabilities:
- I go to house to visit her at every chance, she's come to mine once and has never driven over by herself though she has a car.
- Excuses for not being able to see her often include her sleeping in and homework, for which I often get blown off on Sunday nights.
- I'm a very physical and romantic person, she is embarassed to be seen so much as hugging in public, I mean anybody.
- I'm an athiest, agnostic, whatever. She is HARDCORE Southern Babtist. She wants to be a missionary.
- I like a bit of cursing and dirty jokes, she's as pure as the driven snow. Though, at times this is a turn on for me.
- We don't really relate on alot. We like different music, we have different hobbies, we live in different communities, we like different movies (I'd like to think my taste in movies and music is a bit more sophisticated than hers, not to sound like a total ass wipe.)
- We met through my sister, so breaking up with her gets me family asking questions I don't want to answer.
- I don't seem to fit into her schedual anywhere.
- Like I said, I'm physical. I'm not an asswipe though, and would never pressure a girl into sex. However, I would very much like it. I'm not getting any here.
- Maybie the difference between a freshly 16 Sophmore and a soon to be 18 senior are larger than I had onced imagined.
Goods
-She's beautiful. I love her chin, her nose, her neck, she's definitely put together well.
-I've grown to be endeered to her nuances. Her laugh, her smile, her shy retractions.
-Her folks and family love me
-Mine love her
-She's an intelligent, sweet girl who never meant anything but good to anyone.
-She should be my blonde haired, blue eyed, wife quallity, dream come true girl.
-I really do think I love her.
I've mentioned loving her a couple of times. I think one can love and move on. I don't see there being a single specific someone for everyone. I see there as being people you can love, but just because you love doesn't mean it's gonna work out as a long term relationship.
The greatest feeling I know is holding someone you love close to you and just laying there, them in your arms, you in theirs, and just being together. I love this. I haven't had this since we first started dating. It is tearing me apart inside.
All the sexy you love, but with a brand new coat of hairjell. Hopefully I can train my hair to not need the jell, otherwise this aint lasting long. Can you honestly see ME buying haircare products? I'm just using some crap that happens to be in my bathroom. I agree with wesker. Slicked back dirty blonde hair + sunglasses = pimpin on ice.
---note: everyone gets one fucking emo post, here comes mine. Make fun of it and I swear you're a bastard born of my seed when I fucked your mom after killing Vannilla Ice when I travelled back in time to the 80's.
Now to the seriose issue. That of Alyece, my girlfriend. I've seen here once since Valentines Day (3 wks ago) and only got to see her for an hour. We sat in her church, then afterwords I was blown off for homework. I felt kinda hurt. 3 weeks and all I got was a hug. Not even one she wanted I think. She's uncomfortable in public settings. I want to kiss her, she doesn't want to be seen doing more than holding hands in public. It was all I could do to stop from cuddling on her in the damned church pew. She knows I hate church. I sit inches from her for an hour, bored stiff, and I can't touch or speak. Finaly it ends, I hafta wait another 30 min for her choir practice. Then, the brush off. Fuck me and call me a bitch.
Not her, no, I'd not go so far. She's a nice, sweet, beautiful girl. I do believe I love her, but damned if I didn't drive home with enough sexual frustration to choke the Maque De Sod. It's not even sex. I came to grips with the "you're not getting any" thing a while back. It was just this all over feeling of "I could be holding her right now, but I don't get to". The best way I can describe it is if you waited for the dryer full of towels to finish, grabbed a big armfull of soft, fluffly, warm towels, and someone snatched them away from you and said "Wait till next month". I almost wanted to cry, but I had my angry whiteboy music to remind me that big boys don't cry, we rock the fuck out. Atleast I still gots me sense of humor. (insert Popeye laugh)
Here's my thing. I love her, but if there's not enough time in her life for me I'm not going to sit around wasting my time on her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and this has been true. But fuck. 3 weeks to a month at a time? That's not fond that's forgetfull. I feel like I'm on the back burner. I might just hafta cut and run. There's other oppurtunities out there. I'm 17 damn it. I'm about to be in college. Part of me wants to stay with her. Part of me wants to find a girl more suitable to me. Part of me wants to be the "playboy" and have tons of wild annonymous sex around campus for four years.
I'm a fucking virgin. for chirst's sakes, and I know I can't hold out for mairrage like her. I know more about sex than most dumb-shits who've got it on several times, but shit if I haven't gotten as much as a hand job. I'm confident that I'd be good in the sack. I'm definitely down with the foreplay. I can make Alyece swoon with what little access to the neck, face, legs, and arms I get. She's got this wierd thing about her stomache, won't let me near it. I love necks now btw. If a man's got a territory mapped out in the world of errogenous zones, I'd hafta call the neck. I love the way they look, so slender and soft, and apparently I'm pretty good with my work there too ;). No hickies even ;). Ok, off topic. See, sexual frustration.
I didn't get to talk to her about it today, so I'm venting. I've only really mentioned this to one person, and atleast it's femanin advice. I just hate to lose someone I've put so much effort into.
My list of incompatabilities:
- I go to house to visit her at every chance, she's come to mine once and has never driven over by herself though she has a car.
- Excuses for not being able to see her often include her sleeping in and homework, for which I often get blown off on Sunday nights.
- I'm a very physical and romantic person, she is embarassed to be seen so much as hugging in public, I mean anybody.
- I'm an athiest, agnostic, whatever. She is HARDCORE Southern Babtist. She wants to be a missionary.
- I like a bit of cursing and dirty jokes, she's as pure as the driven snow. Though, at times this is a turn on for me.
- We don't really relate on alot. We like different music, we have different hobbies, we live in different communities, we like different movies (I'd like to think my taste in movies and music is a bit more sophisticated than hers, not to sound like a total ass wipe.)
- We met through my sister, so breaking up with her gets me family asking questions I don't want to answer.
- I don't seem to fit into her schedual anywhere.
- Like I said, I'm physical. I'm not an asswipe though, and would never pressure a girl into sex. However, I would very much like it. I'm not getting any here.
- Maybie the difference between a freshly 16 Sophmore and a soon to be 18 senior are larger than I had onced imagined.
Goods
-She's beautiful. I love her chin, her nose, her neck, she's definitely put together well.
-I've grown to be endeered to her nuances. Her laugh, her smile, her shy retractions.
-Her folks and family love me
-Mine love her
-She's an intelligent, sweet girl who never meant anything but good to anyone.
-She should be my blonde haired, blue eyed, wife quallity, dream come true girl.
-I really do think I love her.
I've mentioned loving her a couple of times. I think one can love and move on. I don't see there being a single specific someone for everyone. I see there as being people you can love, but just because you love doesn't mean it's gonna work out as a long term relationship.
The greatest feeling I know is holding someone you love close to you and just laying there, them in your arms, you in theirs, and just being together. I love this. I haven't had this since we first started dating. It is tearing me apart inside.