(no subject)
now, im afraid of open water, but i often bathe in sin.
lets be honest, you know you shouldnt bother, cuz with me, its impossible to win.
seriously though.
really only those of you who know the recent saga of nate vs. larry [my dad] will understand this, but he sent me this email today. remember the incident in which he phyiscially forced me out of his house, a day after telling me he wants to help me and shit? well this is his first real communication with me since then.
>Nate,
>
>It seems that you are intent on discontinuing any communication with me and
>that is obviously your choice. But if it's because you think I am still
>upset with you, I'm not. As a matter of fact, had you just let me finish
>blowing off some steam the last time, I would have calmed down. But you
>decided to get in my face and that just caused things to escalate. For
>somebody wanting to move back home after realizing the "error of his ways",
>you certainly did not show much humility or respect for that matter. It's
>not as though I was reveling in rubbing your nose in it. I was just not
>happy with your recent decision and moreover your lack of remorse about
>them, if you will. You came across as arrogant and defiant, even to the
>point of challenging me in my own home. And I will never stand for that.
>
>I extended the olive branch to you once again last week when I was home sick
>with the flu/bronchitis. I was trying to re-establish some dialogue and get
>things moving in a positive direction. But your lack of response, along with
>your glib and short replies, pretty much let me know that you are snubbing
>your nose at the offer. Well, the offer stands. So when and if you get the
>chip off your shoulder and want to face the mess that you have made, like a
>man, I will be there to open my door for you. I don't hold any grudges.
>
>I don't ask for much from you, Nate. And as far as that goes, I don't think
>I ever did even when you were living at home. My rules are few and have not
>changed. If you want to come home, you need to get steady employment and get
>your financial house in order. I can only imagine how things must be falling
>in around your ears in that regard by now. Anyway, one last time, if you
>want to talk about it and work towards a resolution, give me a call or send
>me an email. If not, then I wish you the best as always.
>
>The decision is yours, as they all are at this point in your life. But know
that I love you and I always will. You're my son, my only child.....even if
>I'm not crazy about the way you are handling things right now. I'll be
>waiting to hear from you. If I don't, then I guess I have my answer. Take
>care.
>
>Love,
>Dad
wow, what a great dad!
and my reply
dad,
you have a very different take on this situation than i do, so im going to tell you how i feel and what im thinking. i am not intent on discontinuing any communication with you; it just happens. after the eruption of the last time i was at the house, i really dont feel that you would be able to help me in a way that would really be beneficial. i mean, you and i got into a huge argument already and im not even back at the house. you know how we are and how much we fight, and if its already starting, i dont want to be put in a position where i can be kicked out if you deem it so. i lost that job at cvs already because i wasnt going to be able to get to it, so i would have to find another job, because kroger is only looking for part time kids to make around 6 dollars an hour. definitely not going to help my current status too much.
also, i think i made it blatantly clear i would like to turn things around and make them right for myself, but it seemed to me that you didnt seem content with that. the entire conversation we had consisted of you telling me of my debts that i had. i already know what i owe. theres nothing i can do to pay them back, but find a job, work it, get the money, and pay it off. im not sure what you were trying to accomplish by yelling at me and making me feel even worse about my debt. my remorse isnt going to make it go away.
yes, i did get in your face, and i did escalate things. but what do you expect? i come back and try to amend things, but you do what you always do and yell and scream and pile things on me. am i supposed to sit back and just let that happen? what if someone was sitting there listing everything youve done wrong, everything you have no power to fix, and in a manner that was rather degrading? would you stand by and take it all in like good advice? so no, i wasnt going to sit there and be talked to like that. i am your son and i was in your house but beyond that i am a human being, im quickly moving into adulthood, and whether or not you want to believe it i deserve respect too. if you cant give me that then sorry, but i can make it on my own.
when you called me i wasnt sure what i wanted to do. as i said before, i was wary of even trying to work things out with you, because the last thing i need right now is to start to re-establish my life and then have it torn out from under me because we get in a fight. after the last episode you made it pretty clear you dont have any qualms about sending me out of the house. i guess the bottom line of what im trying to say about that is that i dont feel that i can trust you to stay civil enough to provide a stable place for me to feel comfortable and rebuild my life.
so here it is: the current status is that im still at jesse's, i have a job, i can get to it regularly, and the slow process of rebuilding begins. maybe its not as fast or efficient as coming back to your house, but i know i can rely on myself and the people around me. even if you dont like them, they are the sole reason im not living on the streets starving right now, and i owe them alot. things will be ok in the end. its gonna take some time, but im almost positive i can do this on my own. after seeing that things hadnt changed with you during that argument, i have to take my chances and do what i can to make things right for myself. im probably rambling at this point, but to sum things up, ill just say thanks for the offer, but i can do it myself. say what you want, say ill fail, say you hope the best for me, say that im 'biting the hand that feeds me' again, but maybe when i get things worked out, we can sit down and maybe then you'll realize im strong enough to do things on my own.
i am, as you said, your one son, your only child. i only wish that when you thought of that, you thought of how much better you could have treated your only progeny.
sorry, thats something ive been wanting to say for awhile. the things that happen now between me and you are going to affect you in the long run too.
sorry if this sounds arrogant or defiant, but its the truth.
and sometimes the truth hurts, you know?
in other news i got a job at 7-11
lets be honest, you know you shouldnt bother, cuz with me, its impossible to win.
seriously though.
really only those of you who know the recent saga of nate vs. larry [my dad] will understand this, but he sent me this email today. remember the incident in which he phyiscially forced me out of his house, a day after telling me he wants to help me and shit? well this is his first real communication with me since then.
>Nate,
>
>It seems that you are intent on discontinuing any communication with me and
>that is obviously your choice. But if it's because you think I am still
>upset with you, I'm not. As a matter of fact, had you just let me finish
>blowing off some steam the last time, I would have calmed down. But you
>decided to get in my face and that just caused things to escalate. For
>somebody wanting to move back home after realizing the "error of his ways",
>you certainly did not show much humility or respect for that matter. It's
>not as though I was reveling in rubbing your nose in it. I was just not
>happy with your recent decision and moreover your lack of remorse about
>them, if you will. You came across as arrogant and defiant, even to the
>point of challenging me in my own home. And I will never stand for that.
>
>I extended the olive branch to you once again last week when I was home sick
>with the flu/bronchitis. I was trying to re-establish some dialogue and get
>things moving in a positive direction. But your lack of response, along with
>your glib and short replies, pretty much let me know that you are snubbing
>your nose at the offer. Well, the offer stands. So when and if you get the
>chip off your shoulder and want to face the mess that you have made, like a
>man, I will be there to open my door for you. I don't hold any grudges.
>
>I don't ask for much from you, Nate. And as far as that goes, I don't think
>I ever did even when you were living at home. My rules are few and have not
>changed. If you want to come home, you need to get steady employment and get
>your financial house in order. I can only imagine how things must be falling
>in around your ears in that regard by now. Anyway, one last time, if you
>want to talk about it and work towards a resolution, give me a call or send
>me an email. If not, then I wish you the best as always.
>
>The decision is yours, as they all are at this point in your life. But know
that I love you and I always will. You're my son, my only child.....even if
>I'm not crazy about the way you are handling things right now. I'll be
>waiting to hear from you. If I don't, then I guess I have my answer. Take
>care.
>
>Love,
>Dad
wow, what a great dad!
and my reply
dad,
you have a very different take on this situation than i do, so im going to tell you how i feel and what im thinking. i am not intent on discontinuing any communication with you; it just happens. after the eruption of the last time i was at the house, i really dont feel that you would be able to help me in a way that would really be beneficial. i mean, you and i got into a huge argument already and im not even back at the house. you know how we are and how much we fight, and if its already starting, i dont want to be put in a position where i can be kicked out if you deem it so. i lost that job at cvs already because i wasnt going to be able to get to it, so i would have to find another job, because kroger is only looking for part time kids to make around 6 dollars an hour. definitely not going to help my current status too much.
also, i think i made it blatantly clear i would like to turn things around and make them right for myself, but it seemed to me that you didnt seem content with that. the entire conversation we had consisted of you telling me of my debts that i had. i already know what i owe. theres nothing i can do to pay them back, but find a job, work it, get the money, and pay it off. im not sure what you were trying to accomplish by yelling at me and making me feel even worse about my debt. my remorse isnt going to make it go away.
yes, i did get in your face, and i did escalate things. but what do you expect? i come back and try to amend things, but you do what you always do and yell and scream and pile things on me. am i supposed to sit back and just let that happen? what if someone was sitting there listing everything youve done wrong, everything you have no power to fix, and in a manner that was rather degrading? would you stand by and take it all in like good advice? so no, i wasnt going to sit there and be talked to like that. i am your son and i was in your house but beyond that i am a human being, im quickly moving into adulthood, and whether or not you want to believe it i deserve respect too. if you cant give me that then sorry, but i can make it on my own.
when you called me i wasnt sure what i wanted to do. as i said before, i was wary of even trying to work things out with you, because the last thing i need right now is to start to re-establish my life and then have it torn out from under me because we get in a fight. after the last episode you made it pretty clear you dont have any qualms about sending me out of the house. i guess the bottom line of what im trying to say about that is that i dont feel that i can trust you to stay civil enough to provide a stable place for me to feel comfortable and rebuild my life.
so here it is: the current status is that im still at jesse's, i have a job, i can get to it regularly, and the slow process of rebuilding begins. maybe its not as fast or efficient as coming back to your house, but i know i can rely on myself and the people around me. even if you dont like them, they are the sole reason im not living on the streets starving right now, and i owe them alot. things will be ok in the end. its gonna take some time, but im almost positive i can do this on my own. after seeing that things hadnt changed with you during that argument, i have to take my chances and do what i can to make things right for myself. im probably rambling at this point, but to sum things up, ill just say thanks for the offer, but i can do it myself. say what you want, say ill fail, say you hope the best for me, say that im 'biting the hand that feeds me' again, but maybe when i get things worked out, we can sit down and maybe then you'll realize im strong enough to do things on my own.
i am, as you said, your one son, your only child. i only wish that when you thought of that, you thought of how much better you could have treated your only progeny.
sorry, thats something ive been wanting to say for awhile. the things that happen now between me and you are going to affect you in the long run too.
sorry if this sounds arrogant or defiant, but its the truth.
and sometimes the truth hurts, you know?
in other news i got a job at 7-11