I'm Not Gay (Part 1 of 2)
Title: I'm Not Gay
Author: strychninetwist
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Billie/Mike
Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story.
“I love you Mike,” you tell me with a kiss. We’ve just had sex but you’ll say we made love.
“I love you too.” It’s not a lie. Not really; I do love you. Just not in the way you love me - not in the way you want me to. I kiss you goodnight and hold you in my arms. I give you everything you ever dreamed of, because you’re my best friend and you’re like a brother to me. It’s not as fucked up as it sounds.
It was your 22nd birthday when you confessed you had feelings for me and how could I turn you down on your birthday you dick? So I told you I love you, you didn’t need to know how, and we kissed in front of all those guests. I had no choice then, but I wasn’t exactly Casanova in the first place and if it made you happy I could pretend to be gay.
I thought the first time we had sex would be awkward, but surprisingly you made me very aroused. I guess you are beautiful, sexy, in your own way. It made it easier that we didn’t actually penetrate that first time. It feels so weird saying it that way. But when we eventually did, you made an excellent woman. Sometimes I think you know I’m only pretending.
Our first serious fight I almost told you the truth. I was going to but then you cried and I couldn’t. I don’t think I can. It was over our first anniversary. You thought I didn’t love you anymore; I didn’t have the heart to tell you I never did.
I nearly cheated on you last week. I don’t believe in cheating but she was just so beautiful. Brittney Cade. I wanted to ask her out for coffee, and I wanted much more, but you were in the bathroom. I tell myself I wouldn’t have gone through with it anyway. I couldn’t break your heart like that.
It’s our anniversary tomorrow. Seven years and I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry Billie.
“Happy anniversary Mike,” I hear you say and shit because I can’t believe its gone midnight already. Can I really ruin your birthday? You’re 29 today. Fuck. We’re nearly 30.
“Happy birthday Billie.” I sit up and turn away from you. I have to do this. “Billie…” I begin. You try to hold me but I push you away. By the time I’m finished talking though I’m trying to hold you while you force me away, tears of pain, betrayal, heartbreak falling from your eyes. I’m so sorry Billie.
Author: strychninetwist
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Billie/Mike
Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story.
“I love you Mike,” you tell me with a kiss. We’ve just had sex but you’ll say we made love.
“I love you too.” It’s not a lie. Not really; I do love you. Just not in the way you love me - not in the way you want me to. I kiss you goodnight and hold you in my arms. I give you everything you ever dreamed of, because you’re my best friend and you’re like a brother to me. It’s not as fucked up as it sounds.
It was your 22nd birthday when you confessed you had feelings for me and how could I turn you down on your birthday you dick? So I told you I love you, you didn’t need to know how, and we kissed in front of all those guests. I had no choice then, but I wasn’t exactly Casanova in the first place and if it made you happy I could pretend to be gay.
I thought the first time we had sex would be awkward, but surprisingly you made me very aroused. I guess you are beautiful, sexy, in your own way. It made it easier that we didn’t actually penetrate that first time. It feels so weird saying it that way. But when we eventually did, you made an excellent woman. Sometimes I think you know I’m only pretending.
Our first serious fight I almost told you the truth. I was going to but then you cried and I couldn’t. I don’t think I can. It was over our first anniversary. You thought I didn’t love you anymore; I didn’t have the heart to tell you I never did.
I nearly cheated on you last week. I don’t believe in cheating but she was just so beautiful. Brittney Cade. I wanted to ask her out for coffee, and I wanted much more, but you were in the bathroom. I tell myself I wouldn’t have gone through with it anyway. I couldn’t break your heart like that.
It’s our anniversary tomorrow. Seven years and I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry Billie.
“Happy anniversary Mike,” I hear you say and shit because I can’t believe its gone midnight already. Can I really ruin your birthday? You’re 29 today. Fuck. We’re nearly 30.
“Happy birthday Billie.” I sit up and turn away from you. I have to do this. “Billie…” I begin. You try to hold me but I push you away. By the time I’m finished talking though I’m trying to hold you while you force me away, tears of pain, betrayal, heartbreak falling from your eyes. I’m so sorry Billie.