what love feels like
i am a hopless romantic. its been like this all my life. its the reason iv only had two boyfriends(im with one now) and the reason i took so long to actually kiss one. i feel that there such thing as true love and that its out there and i deserve it. so i limit my self and i think about who i am with carfully and i look for a realtionship that is long term and not some short lived "thrill". i dont want to be thrilled i want to be chershed and loved and held. i deserve to be wantied and filler for the whole in his heart. so i wait and i wait. then i find him. at first i am shy and tell myself its not time yet. i was hurt before and i didnt want to feel the immens pain of losing somthing i thought i could keep, wachtin the trust and what i thought was love fall and crumble. but the way he talked to me and how i felt better to hear him speak told me this wasnt fake. but still i held my self back. theni see him and i melt all those gated feeling flodd out of me and i want to run to him and kiss him and tell him how happy he makes me. now we are together for a year and almost 5 months now. and it has been amazing. i have grown so much and i have learned a lot about myself that i wouldnt have if i had never met him. i felt things that i thought never exsitised i thought i had felt love but not until the butterflies twirled and the electric buzz surge through my veins when he kissed me did i know anything. i didnt know that a meer touch could give me a high like no other and the way he looks when he laughs makes me warm. and we cant fight. we can bite ans snarl becuase in the mouring well be able to learn and make up. we heal each others wounds and kno that this will not be the end when we fight beaucase we know that even in the moment of anger we would not be completly happy if we didnt have the other. even when i want to smack him i want to kiss him and hug him beaucse he has made so much of a diffrence in my life that if i lost the privlage of seeing him smile and the feel of his lips on my forhead i would die inside. he gave me confidence and showed me how to keep going. he influnced my passions and reminds me of what life is about. and when i feel near to the end and think that not even he can make me feel better his arms embrace me and the depression shatters. he brings out the good in me and lets my inner glow burst. no man can give me what he gives me. this love we have feels so good and so honest that i feel i wasnt supose to have met him so soon but some how found him earlier. as if he was to come after all of my other mistakes to be the final and to clean up the mess left behind and to let me know what it was to be truly loved. i am so thankful for him and everything he has given me. i would rather be on the streets dumpster diving for our meals than be in a big fancy house with all the money ill ever need and with out you. i love you chris. you broke down my boundries and showed me how to revive my heart. i hope you always know this, even if im acting moody or bitchy that i love you till the day we die. i want to grow old with you and experince life with you by my side. im here for you i want to be your air your drink and your food. i want to nourish and care for you. i love you.
i love you chris
i love you chris