hmmmm
so today is my 1 year and 4 month annversy with my lover man. lol. and to make it even better tho i do not want to jinx myself that i finally feel better. iv been sick for a bit but today i woke up had a slight prob but after 11 i was dandy. i hate boys.... alot there hurtful and shallowe, which is why im glad i found a man to love and who will love me. today i was talking to a "friend" not really caz he prob would even recgonize me as an aqqantice anywho told me that he thinks the teachter who we have for lit is passointe and it dosnt hurt that shes bagen..... o wow. so if she was "bagen" then he would just think that she was some odd ball story lover who he had to sit thro class with. wow. it drives me nuts that in order to get somewhat atterntion from guys u need to be attractive to them. how dumb. shes so smart and has very good insight on the text that we read but this boy wouldnt even hear it if she were to be less atrractive. grrrrr. honsetly why is it this way? i mean sheesh im glad i dont work that way caz i wouldnt have learned jack shit my whole life. but then again im not a shallowe vat of piss either. i also find myself somewhat homesick....i wish i had more time to spend in maryland and i wish i could have visited my fav spots like inner harbor. i dunno why but im so proude to be from maryland. my school is going well and i actually like my classes for once. i def feel more driven to do better. sarah and i also experinced what it was like to be the 1st white girl a historically black college has seen probly since thev been there. my friend then told me i was more gehtto than her beacuse i had this air that i really didnt care (caz i dont why should oooo they have earth toned skin o god) but it made me think wow there is so much tensone still between races that my friend was afriad that i was scared or nervose. i mean really being called a snow bunny dosnt really set my panic button off. i mean sure i probly glowed in the dark caz my tans fading but really why should i let society and its setyrotpes bother me. it made me think about a lot fo things and kinda saddened me that becuase im white i give off this preconcived notion in diffrent situations. i wish i could set everyones vison so that we all were grey until we didnt care about the 1st shock of color and then turn it off so we can embrace the perosne and there cultur. but on a better note i am the luckiest girl alive to have a wonderful supportive and caring man. he makes me feel loved and wantied and i cant wait to lay with hima nd snuggle aganist him and take in his sent. *sigh* this room is so loud with silence