Everything will stay exactly the same
As my myspace photo (and the paper that I'm sure all of you have on your wall) shows, I was featured in this week's issue of the Columbus Alive! newspaper, seven pages away from Jon Stewart's weekly column. (We met at the Columbus Alive! May 18th Issue mixer, nice guy.) I just want everyone to know that just because I have now moved into that category of "famous" that it does not mean that I am going to change.
Comedy's Rye Silverman is a man of the people. All of you little, insignificant peons who helped Comedy's Rye Silverman get to where Comedy's Rye Silverman is will still be his friends, complete with all the rights and privileges there within, like getting to carry the sharpee pen that Comedy's Rye Silverman uses to sign the many copies of Columbus Alive! that Comedy's Rye Silverman's fans want to sell on ebay.
You are welcome to continue hanging out with Comedy's Rye Silverman and tip the bartenders that give Comedy's Rye Silverman the comp'd drinks that Comedy's Rye Silverman so justly deserves.
Ladies, do not feel the need to cover up your cleavage when around Comedy's Rye Silverman, Comedy's Rye Silverman is still more than happy to check out your rack. Comedy's Rye Silverman doesn't feel this activity is now beneath Him. If anything, whip them out more, Comedy's Ryan Silverman likes to be brought down to earth now and again.
Come on over and hang out with Comedy's Rye Silverman as He watches the troupe of actors who watch the television shows that Comedy's Rye Silverman is not available to see, and acts them out for him.
Comedy's Rye Silverman will continue to pronounce Gyro with a soft G, like "Yee-ro." But please do not tell Comedy's Rye Silverman that he has some tzatziki sauce on his face. There, no the other side, no, right above, no a little more to the left. your left. YOUR left. Comedy's Rye Silverman knows he has it there, and he will remove it when he is good and ready.
Gentlemen, do not get jealous when your girlfriend sleeps with Comedy's Rye Silverman. Jealous of her, of course.
And finally, please, please do not rub poison ivy on yourself in an attempt to make it appear that you have Psoriasis, just like Comedy's Rye Silverman. This has been a public safety message from Comedy's Rye Silverman
Comedy's Rye Silverman is a man of the people. All of you little, insignificant peons who helped Comedy's Rye Silverman get to where Comedy's Rye Silverman is will still be his friends, complete with all the rights and privileges there within, like getting to carry the sharpee pen that Comedy's Rye Silverman uses to sign the many copies of Columbus Alive! that Comedy's Rye Silverman's fans want to sell on ebay.
You are welcome to continue hanging out with Comedy's Rye Silverman and tip the bartenders that give Comedy's Rye Silverman the comp'd drinks that Comedy's Rye Silverman so justly deserves.
Ladies, do not feel the need to cover up your cleavage when around Comedy's Rye Silverman, Comedy's Rye Silverman is still more than happy to check out your rack. Comedy's Rye Silverman doesn't feel this activity is now beneath Him. If anything, whip them out more, Comedy's Ryan Silverman likes to be brought down to earth now and again.
Come on over and hang out with Comedy's Rye Silverman as He watches the troupe of actors who watch the television shows that Comedy's Rye Silverman is not available to see, and acts them out for him.
Comedy's Rye Silverman will continue to pronounce Gyro with a soft G, like "Yee-ro." But please do not tell Comedy's Rye Silverman that he has some tzatziki sauce on his face. There, no the other side, no, right above, no a little more to the left. your left. YOUR left. Comedy's Rye Silverman knows he has it there, and he will remove it when he is good and ready.
Gentlemen, do not get jealous when your girlfriend sleeps with Comedy's Rye Silverman. Jealous of her, of course.
And finally, please, please do not rub poison ivy on yourself in an attempt to make it appear that you have Psoriasis, just like Comedy's Rye Silverman. This has been a public safety message from Comedy's Rye Silverman