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I read through my old entrys all of a sudden and i feel like a total different person from what i was then. I still struggle on a daily basis with mental illness because i refuse to take medicine for it. My belief is i can control this myself, medicine will not cure it. I have always been stubborn so perhaps its a good thing that i am so stubborn to continue recovery on my own.
Some days i feel better than how i used to be. Somedays i feel just as sick in my head. Depression is the hardest to control it seems along with the eating disorder.
I don't talk about it much anymore just because i am afraid if i talk about it i will aknowledge the fact that i still struggle and deal with it on a daily basis.Like if i talk about my problems, it will make them seem more real. Its hard to explain and i'm not sure if i'm getting the thoughts across with out confusing anyone.If i knowledge that i still struggle with eating, it will trigger that part of me and possibly become out of line. Aknowledging it is like feeding my eating disorder. Did i confuse anyone? LOL
Anyways i have a job interview at a daycare that i applied at tomrrow. Here's to hoping that i get hired!!
Some days i feel better than how i used to be. Somedays i feel just as sick in my head. Depression is the hardest to control it seems along with the eating disorder.
I don't talk about it much anymore just because i am afraid if i talk about it i will aknowledge the fact that i still struggle and deal with it on a daily basis.Like if i talk about my problems, it will make them seem more real. Its hard to explain and i'm not sure if i'm getting the thoughts across with out confusing anyone.If i knowledge that i still struggle with eating, it will trigger that part of me and possibly become out of line. Aknowledging it is like feeding my eating disorder. Did i confuse anyone? LOL
Anyways i have a job interview at a daycare that i applied at tomrrow. Here's to hoping that i get hired!!