In which the Whuppie notes of this dusty book's existence and other such nonsense.

[cometospain]

The Compendium has always been something of a conundrum for me, as it is not as if I was ever a woman who thought that it was altogether of interest to write of her adventures when she could, in fact, be committing them. Still, I am in my later years; arguably, I've left adventures to the wayside for another time, such as when I magically get all

Comments

[off_the_hookah]

It must be your stunning looks, because frankly Jacob has seen better days.

I didn't know dentures got plaque.

I'm catching up to you!

[cometospain]

Actually, I was led to believe it was the preponderance of orthopedic shoes in my wardrobe that secured my position, but it's quite sweet of you to say all the same. But, if you absolutely must know the geriatric beauty secret of the stars, it's Eucerin cream. On occasion, Bag Balm. Available at Walgreens everywhere.

Neil, you at least have five years before you appear on the Old Tale of the Year ballot. Well. Perhaps three. I haven't the mind to remember.

[off_the_hookah]

But I only wear Este Lauder!

I know you guys at the old folks home party down! Come on, let me see you do that soft shoe with your cane.

Do you have everything you need?

[cometospain]

You know the Social Security set: we can't be bothered for designer. I think you'll be safe, though, all the same.

You crafty chap, you've figured me out! After the soft shoe down to the Seniors Center, we usually like to break into Bingo formations, followed by Ultimate Shuffleboard Tournaments. It's like those Banjo Hero or whatever the kids are playing these days, but with real shuffleboards and real danger.

[...] If I am to take "everything I need" as paid utilities, food, and an excellently repaired roof over my head, then I would say that I do. But if you mean anything to the contrary, I'm not quite sure. It depends on your defintion of necessities.

[off_the_hookah]

Safe how? If you mean I'm going to be one of those queens who age gracefully with the help of cosmetics and botox, then... you're probably right.

See, this is the kind of action I'm talking about! That, and old people sex.

No, it would depend on your definition. Like, oh - I don't know... some tea and sympathy? Or can I tempt you with a night on the town?

[cometospain]

Oh, if I were to count the amount of romantic indiscretions at the College Point Senior Citizens Center, I would need the help of a slide rule. Or maybe an abacus. (In seriousness, though, I did meet Stephen there, and he's been ever-so sweet, even if he's still stuck on that damn Bob Hope.)

Tea and sympaty versus night on the town? Hmm, Mr. McLaughlin. It depends on whether you're in the mood for rooting around for a good jazz club. I fear that in my old age, I've become rather particular about where I drink my cognac, and it's certainly not at a place with flashing rainbow lights ever ten seconds.

[freak_lip]

Excuse me, ma'am, but I could not help see the mention of goot and jazz club in the same sentence. I have been looking for one of those. Though if it has a twenty-one age restriction I might have to curse the day I came to America.

[cometospain]

Young man, I fear I haven't found this fabled "good jazz club" quite yet, but I will inform you when I do -- even if, sadly, it has an age restriction.

[off_the_hookah]

There's a few options. Arthur's Tavern, in Manhattan is good, so I've been told. There's no age restriction there. I'm going to be flying out to London Friday afternoon, returning Sunday, so if you want to check it out, let me know how it is.

[off_the_hookah]

Well, Miss Bradford, I can't say that jazz is my forte, but I think I've found a place.

I had another thought. It's been a while since I've been to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We could spend the day browsing through there, and have lunch at the cafe. It'll probably have to wait until next week, though.

[cometospain]

I'll have to wait a few days to check out Arthur's (the life of philanthropy is never truly done, as it should be), but something I can vouch for immediately is that I've read about the most lovely exhibit on Poussin and his contemporaries in the Times. I'll mark my calendar to go to the Met for next week. Is there a particular day that's good for you?

[off_the_hookah]

You're an angel. Make sure you take Caden with you.

How about Tuesday? We can go after I finish with my workshop.