Remember When?
A friend of mine has an elderly parent. Over the last few years, her mental health has completely deteriorated from forgetfulness to dementia and now Alzheimer's. She is no longer able to live on her own, and so she and her husband have been re-located to an assisted living facility.
What is interesting about all of this is her mind.
Traditionally, time tends to fade some of the details we have about memory. We remember an event, know it was important, recall the highlights, and that's it. For the most part, our mind seems most sharp in the present.
But for my friend's mother, her mind seems to working in reverse.
It's the present that causes her the most problems but her recollection of past events seems to be coming back with a vengeance and with full-clarity.
Example?
She forgot to put bananas in her banana nut bread (trust me, bananas make ALL the difference!) but she can sing songs in Latin that she learned when she was in 7th grade.
It's been painful at times for my friend to watch this process unfold, but what it's shown me is that something that I've wished for most of my life, which is to forget the painful parts of my past, seems to be a natural part of aging.
The problem?
I'm not just forgetting the painful parts. In my mind there is no difference. As I age and the past grows more distant, my recollection of certain things becomes less and less.
Perhaps it from lack of trying.
There are many things I've buried, not wanting to recall, and perhaps that's why when I have tried, these things are the fuzziest of all.
Or perhaps there is a natural part of my mind that can only "hold" so much. As I age, my experiences, my interactions, successes and failures are so plentiful that I imagine there is a sorting process that is taking place.
Or maybe my dream really has come true.
Maybe the things I prayed for years to forget, have finally been buried so deep, I have.
But my friend's mother brings up the question for how long as these things "gone"?
Will I too wake up one day in the future, towards the sunset of my life, and realize with tremendous clarity things I'd forgotten?
In a recent study, doctors have discovered that certain drugs will prevent short-term memories from being long-term memories. This means that people who have been raped, suffer from shell-shock and other devastating disorders triggered by painful memories, could, in the future, take a pill and "forget" them.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Story?id=2964509&page=1
This idea intrigues me. So much of who I feel I grew up to be stems from painful things in my past.
Who would I be now if I had the chance back then to "erase" them?
Would I be a happier person?
Would I be someone less proned to an eating disorder and self-injury?
Or, would I be living a lie?
One day I may have to face this choice. It seems that taking this magic pill doesn't have a time requirement. That is to say a person can take the pill years after the event.
If I had the chance to take it now, would I?
I really don't know.
Maybe the parts of myself I find the most ugly and shameful are the same parts that truly make me who I am.
I would hate to take a pill and think I was helping myself when in actuality I was destroying part of my essence.
It's something to thing about and weigh carefully because this choice may be one I get to make in my lifetime.
A life or death decision?
Most assuredly.
What is interesting about all of this is her mind.
Traditionally, time tends to fade some of the details we have about memory. We remember an event, know it was important, recall the highlights, and that's it. For the most part, our mind seems most sharp in the present.
But for my friend's mother, her mind seems to working in reverse.
It's the present that causes her the most problems but her recollection of past events seems to be coming back with a vengeance and with full-clarity.
Example?
She forgot to put bananas in her banana nut bread (trust me, bananas make ALL the difference!) but she can sing songs in Latin that she learned when she was in 7th grade.
It's been painful at times for my friend to watch this process unfold, but what it's shown me is that something that I've wished for most of my life, which is to forget the painful parts of my past, seems to be a natural part of aging.
The problem?
I'm not just forgetting the painful parts. In my mind there is no difference. As I age and the past grows more distant, my recollection of certain things becomes less and less.
Perhaps it from lack of trying.
There are many things I've buried, not wanting to recall, and perhaps that's why when I have tried, these things are the fuzziest of all.
Or perhaps there is a natural part of my mind that can only "hold" so much. As I age, my experiences, my interactions, successes and failures are so plentiful that I imagine there is a sorting process that is taking place.
Or maybe my dream really has come true.
Maybe the things I prayed for years to forget, have finally been buried so deep, I have.
But my friend's mother brings up the question for how long as these things "gone"?
Will I too wake up one day in the future, towards the sunset of my life, and realize with tremendous clarity things I'd forgotten?
In a recent study, doctors have discovered that certain drugs will prevent short-term memories from being long-term memories. This means that people who have been raped, suffer from shell-shock and other devastating disorders triggered by painful memories, could, in the future, take a pill and "forget" them.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Story?id=2964509&page=1
This idea intrigues me. So much of who I feel I grew up to be stems from painful things in my past.
Who would I be now if I had the chance back then to "erase" them?
Would I be a happier person?
Would I be someone less proned to an eating disorder and self-injury?
Or, would I be living a lie?
One day I may have to face this choice. It seems that taking this magic pill doesn't have a time requirement. That is to say a person can take the pill years after the event.
If I had the chance to take it now, would I?
I really don't know.
Maybe the parts of myself I find the most ugly and shameful are the same parts that truly make me who I am.
I would hate to take a pill and think I was helping myself when in actuality I was destroying part of my essence.
It's something to thing about and weigh carefully because this choice may be one I get to make in my lifetime.
A life or death decision?
Most assuredly.