A Long Distance Wish
One of my readers has become a regular correspondant. She is involved in an abusive relationship, and over the last couple of years, I have learned to offer her encouragement "in code". I know her e-mail isn't secure and she is forced to go to the library to write, so I offer this posting today just for her.
In less than 48 hours, a new year will begin. It will be a time of reflection of what was and anticipation of what is yet to be.
Over the last two years I have witnessed the demise of a woman who longs to offer herself to the world and has instead, offered herself to a man that does not appreciate her for who she is or what she has to give.
It is so easy to say "just leave" unless you are the person in that situation. Relationships, as everyone who has been in one knows, are complicated.
It isn't easy to understand how someone can love a person who hurts them.
But it happens every day.
It is painful to watch someone wilt under the shadows of a person that is verbally abusive and overbearing.
But not so painful I've wanted to walk away.
Because you see, it is in these times of utter darkness that you find out who your friends really are.
And even though we've never met, I feel like your friend.
I know that somewhere, you harbor a love of life you've been unable to share for a long time.
I know that the lies you've been told about the way you look, who are you and what you can do are untrue and baseless.
The problem is, you've chosen to believe them.
I sit here across the miles as a voice of reason.
It is NEVER too late to choose happiness.
I look to 2009 with great anticipation. This last year challenged me in ways I didn't expect and although I'd like to think I'd learned something along the way, most of me will be glad to see it go.
Growing is painful and if I can assess growth by the amount of tears I feel like I've shed this year, then I must have grown at least an inch or two!
The worst thing a person can feel is alone. And although we've been written a lot about isolated we feel, in reality, that's more of a perception than a fact.
You are a smart and beautiful person. You have talent, dreams that you are qualified to fulfill, and you have friends.
Here you find a link to all of the resources, national and state-based that you may want to consider contacting in the days to come. http://feminist.org/911/crisis.html
Love is never supposed to hurt this badly.
I offer you my encouragement and my willingness to read your words whenever you get a chance to write them.
Change is scary, but I believe you can do this.
Take a step out. Risk. Fight for your right to be loved, the RIGHT way.
A new year is less than two days a way.
It could mark the first day of the rest of your life!
In less than 48 hours, a new year will begin. It will be a time of reflection of what was and anticipation of what is yet to be.
Over the last two years I have witnessed the demise of a woman who longs to offer herself to the world and has instead, offered herself to a man that does not appreciate her for who she is or what she has to give.
It is so easy to say "just leave" unless you are the person in that situation. Relationships, as everyone who has been in one knows, are complicated.
It isn't easy to understand how someone can love a person who hurts them.
But it happens every day.
It is painful to watch someone wilt under the shadows of a person that is verbally abusive and overbearing.
But not so painful I've wanted to walk away.
Because you see, it is in these times of utter darkness that you find out who your friends really are.
And even though we've never met, I feel like your friend.
I know that somewhere, you harbor a love of life you've been unable to share for a long time.
I know that the lies you've been told about the way you look, who are you and what you can do are untrue and baseless.
The problem is, you've chosen to believe them.
I sit here across the miles as a voice of reason.
It is NEVER too late to choose happiness.
I look to 2009 with great anticipation. This last year challenged me in ways I didn't expect and although I'd like to think I'd learned something along the way, most of me will be glad to see it go.
Growing is painful and if I can assess growth by the amount of tears I feel like I've shed this year, then I must have grown at least an inch or two!
The worst thing a person can feel is alone. And although we've been written a lot about isolated we feel, in reality, that's more of a perception than a fact.
You are a smart and beautiful person. You have talent, dreams that you are qualified to fulfill, and you have friends.
Here you find a link to all of the resources, national and state-based that you may want to consider contacting in the days to come. http://feminist.org/911/crisis.html
Love is never supposed to hurt this badly.
I offer you my encouragement and my willingness to read your words whenever you get a chance to write them.
Change is scary, but I believe you can do this.
Take a step out. Risk. Fight for your right to be loved, the RIGHT way.
A new year is less than two days a way.
It could mark the first day of the rest of your life!