A Bipolar Connection?
At some point during my speaking engagements, someone will ask if I am bipolar. I tell them no. I don't know that I've ever been tested for it and can't say I know a whole lot about it.
Until now.
I stumbled across an amazing book this week called Madness: A Biploar Life by Marya Hornbacher. Some of you may remember her award-winning memoir a few years ago called Wasted which detailed her near-death struggle with an eating disorder and alcoholism.
But I can honestly say that reading her new book has been eye opening experience for me. I've known people who were bipolar and had students who were bipolar, but never really knew what it was or what it meant to those who have it.
But through this book, I am coming to understand more about this illness and what it must be like to live life going from one extreme emotion to the other.
It's raised some questions within me for sure.
Marya spent years in and out of mental institutions and yet wasn't properly diagnosed until she was in her 20's. Amazing, isn't it? Here is someone who clearly has had a problem, yet no one seemed to be able to put their finger on what exactly the problem was. Once they did, it meant a world of difference for her.
I find myself with more questions now than answers. Is it possible to experience some of the things she describes and not be bipolar? How do you know the difference between being bipolar and having a hormone imbalance?
I have enjoyed this book because I feel like for the first time, I know more about the questions I need to ask. If I've never been tested for being bipolar, how do I know I'm not?
I don't think I am, but as every self-injurer will tell you, some of the things I have thought and done were enough to make me think I was crazy.
This book is written just as mine was, in first person stream of consciousness. You are in her head and can hear her thoughts, experience what it's like to be in her shoes. As I was reading, I couldn't help but feel honored that someone would allow their life to be an open book just so someone like me could peek inside.
She talks about cutting a lot in the beginning, and incredibly says some of the same things I expressed in my book. I continue to be amazed that someone else could feel the same way I did, especially when I have thought for most of my life that I was the ONLY person in the world who felt that way!
I'm not finished with the book yet, but I feel confident enough in what I've learned so far to write something positive about it.
I learned a long time ago never to say never. Some of the most important doors I've had to walk through were in places I could have sworn a door never existed. But as my heart was opened, my eyes was as well.
I don't know where I go from here. I have visited Marya's website and have sent her a message thanking her for her courage and expressing an interest to speak with her further. I guess now get to see if she writes me back.
But I think this book is worth reading. It has given me a lot to consider and created within me a whole new set of questions to ask.
I would love for someone else to read this book and let me know what their experience was with it. I feel like I've grown a little reading it.
Until now.
I stumbled across an amazing book this week called Madness: A Biploar Life by Marya Hornbacher. Some of you may remember her award-winning memoir a few years ago called Wasted which detailed her near-death struggle with an eating disorder and alcoholism.
But I can honestly say that reading her new book has been eye opening experience for me. I've known people who were bipolar and had students who were bipolar, but never really knew what it was or what it meant to those who have it.
But through this book, I am coming to understand more about this illness and what it must be like to live life going from one extreme emotion to the other.
It's raised some questions within me for sure.
Marya spent years in and out of mental institutions and yet wasn't properly diagnosed until she was in her 20's. Amazing, isn't it? Here is someone who clearly has had a problem, yet no one seemed to be able to put their finger on what exactly the problem was. Once they did, it meant a world of difference for her.
I find myself with more questions now than answers. Is it possible to experience some of the things she describes and not be bipolar? How do you know the difference between being bipolar and having a hormone imbalance?
I have enjoyed this book because I feel like for the first time, I know more about the questions I need to ask. If I've never been tested for being bipolar, how do I know I'm not?
I don't think I am, but as every self-injurer will tell you, some of the things I have thought and done were enough to make me think I was crazy.
This book is written just as mine was, in first person stream of consciousness. You are in her head and can hear her thoughts, experience what it's like to be in her shoes. As I was reading, I couldn't help but feel honored that someone would allow their life to be an open book just so someone like me could peek inside.
She talks about cutting a lot in the beginning, and incredibly says some of the same things I expressed in my book. I continue to be amazed that someone else could feel the same way I did, especially when I have thought for most of my life that I was the ONLY person in the world who felt that way!
I'm not finished with the book yet, but I feel confident enough in what I've learned so far to write something positive about it.
I learned a long time ago never to say never. Some of the most important doors I've had to walk through were in places I could have sworn a door never existed. But as my heart was opened, my eyes was as well.
I don't know where I go from here. I have visited Marya's website and have sent her a message thanking her for her courage and expressing an interest to speak with her further. I guess now get to see if she writes me back.
But I think this book is worth reading. It has given me a lot to consider and created within me a whole new set of questions to ask.
I would love for someone else to read this book and let me know what their experience was with it. I feel like I've grown a little reading it.