Back At Square One
It's been almost two years since I finished my last book. I've got a file of "starts" and random scenes that I imagine incorporating in the months ahead, but so far, it remains a file of ideas, character sketches and wishes.
For someone who has never had a child, I cannot say for sure, but I imagine that writing a book is similar in many ways to bearing one.
Like a child, a book begins as an idea. One small thought that has the potential to become so much more.
Over time, this idea "gestates" and with a great deal of mental nourishment, evolves into something tangible, developed, mature.
When I finished my last book, I went through a grieving process. I really did. Things I had dared to risk putting down on paper were finally there, and others had read them, critiqued them, put their stamp of approval on them.
I put so much time and energy into writing the book, "growing it", that once it was sold and ready for distribution, I felt empty, spent. My early mornings were no longer spent typing feverishly. Instead, I was once again able to sleep through the night; a luxury I hadn't had in months.
Like any new mother, I waited for people's comments about my "baby". No one wants to hear they have an ugly baby. I didn't. I wanted the world to see my creation and all of the effort I'd expelled on its behalf and appreciate it for what it was.
But that was many months ago, and I find myself longing for another "baby".
Thus the file I mentioned earlier.
In many ways, I have come full circle. What started as an idea, small and without shape a couple of years ago grew into something larger than I ever imagined; touching lives all over the world.
But I have more to say, more ideas to express, more dreams to make come true.
I feel now like I'm back at square one. I have an idea that won't let me go; festering in my mind it has started, like the other one did, as a "what if" in the corner of my mind.
I am looking to the summer months with great anticipation. I think this will be a summer of great productivity. At the end of it all, I hope to have a new "bun in the oven", something equally profound and relevant.
As with all endeavors, there is the possibility of failure and that scares me.
What if this new book isn't as good as the last? What if people don't like it? What if my "great idea" isn't so great after all?
Here is where faith comes in. No one is pressuring me to write another book, although many people have asked me for one. The world will not stop if I just leave things as they are.
But I will stop.
Writing is something I have done since I was in the 5th grade. It defines me. It is part of who I am. If there is an idea calling to be written down, I am a slave to that inclination; creativity, my master.
I cannot say yet what this new book will look like any more than I could have told you two years ago what the last one did. It was written one word at a time, just as this new one will be. I hope that I have learned enough and grown enough over the last two years to raise the bar a little, push myself more.
Right now, it's a bunch of post-it notes and typed miscellaneous pages in a file folder. Months from now, it may be my greatest creation.
For someone who has never had a child, I cannot say for sure, but I imagine that writing a book is similar in many ways to bearing one.
Like a child, a book begins as an idea. One small thought that has the potential to become so much more.
Over time, this idea "gestates" and with a great deal of mental nourishment, evolves into something tangible, developed, mature.
When I finished my last book, I went through a grieving process. I really did. Things I had dared to risk putting down on paper were finally there, and others had read them, critiqued them, put their stamp of approval on them.
I put so much time and energy into writing the book, "growing it", that once it was sold and ready for distribution, I felt empty, spent. My early mornings were no longer spent typing feverishly. Instead, I was once again able to sleep through the night; a luxury I hadn't had in months.
Like any new mother, I waited for people's comments about my "baby". No one wants to hear they have an ugly baby. I didn't. I wanted the world to see my creation and all of the effort I'd expelled on its behalf and appreciate it for what it was.
But that was many months ago, and I find myself longing for another "baby".
Thus the file I mentioned earlier.
In many ways, I have come full circle. What started as an idea, small and without shape a couple of years ago grew into something larger than I ever imagined; touching lives all over the world.
But I have more to say, more ideas to express, more dreams to make come true.
I feel now like I'm back at square one. I have an idea that won't let me go; festering in my mind it has started, like the other one did, as a "what if" in the corner of my mind.
I am looking to the summer months with great anticipation. I think this will be a summer of great productivity. At the end of it all, I hope to have a new "bun in the oven", something equally profound and relevant.
As with all endeavors, there is the possibility of failure and that scares me.
What if this new book isn't as good as the last? What if people don't like it? What if my "great idea" isn't so great after all?
Here is where faith comes in. No one is pressuring me to write another book, although many people have asked me for one. The world will not stop if I just leave things as they are.
But I will stop.
Writing is something I have done since I was in the 5th grade. It defines me. It is part of who I am. If there is an idea calling to be written down, I am a slave to that inclination; creativity, my master.
I cannot say yet what this new book will look like any more than I could have told you two years ago what the last one did. It was written one word at a time, just as this new one will be. I hope that I have learned enough and grown enough over the last two years to raise the bar a little, push myself more.
Right now, it's a bunch of post-it notes and typed miscellaneous pages in a file folder. Months from now, it may be my greatest creation.