Who Would Want To Be Me?
Last week I received a call from my bank informing me that an unidentified person was trying to access my accounts and as a precaution, all of my assets were frozen. My debit card was invalid and I wouldn't be sent another one for several days. "In the meantime," the voice called, "just try to use the cash you have on hand."
What cash?
For the next several days I monitored every mile I drove and every soft drink I enjoyed. Whatever I had at home or in the gas tank was all I would have access to until my new card arrived.
Had I been desperate, I could have gone to the bank and made a withdrawal, but my schedule just didn't allow for it. My only option was to tough it out.
I'm so busy with school that I rarely use money during the week. I try to do all of my grocery shopping and gas fill up on the weekend, but what if I hadn't? I had placed so much trust in my debit card that I had created this false sense of security that it would always be there when I needed it.
Not this week.
Someone, somewhere, was trying to "be me". My first thought when I got the call was, who would possibly want to be me? Shouldn't they try to find someone who has more money?
But it brought to mind a larger question.
SO many times I feel inadequate and have often wondered if God didn't make a mistake. My faith tells me He didn't, but people in my life surely do. In times of emotional turmoil, when my vision isn't as clear as it should be, I have to wonder who in the world would want to be me. If I think my life is a mess, others probably do too.
But in times of serenity, I can step back and look at myself and my life with a different perspective. I may not be as far as I would like to be sometimes, but I'm further down the road than I was and that is admirable. I may not have as much money as others have, but I get by. My family may not communicate or get along the way I'd like, but I have one. All in all, I have much to be thankful for. It may not be perfect, but I appreciate it.
This last week I have learned several lessons. One, I should have some cash on hand no matter what. To assume my debit card will always be available is huge mistake. Two, even though sometimes I cannot stand myself, others may envy what I have and try to take it from me. And finally, I shouldn't have to have someone else try to steal my identity before I can claim it for my own. Like it or not, I am who I am and accepting that would ease my life in countless ways.
My new debit card finally arrived. It sounds like a little thing, but it taught me a lot this week. I carry it with me and use it wisely as I remind myself who it belongs to and who she really is. No matter how small I may feel at times, I exist.
The name on my debit card tells me so.
What cash?
For the next several days I monitored every mile I drove and every soft drink I enjoyed. Whatever I had at home or in the gas tank was all I would have access to until my new card arrived.
Had I been desperate, I could have gone to the bank and made a withdrawal, but my schedule just didn't allow for it. My only option was to tough it out.
I'm so busy with school that I rarely use money during the week. I try to do all of my grocery shopping and gas fill up on the weekend, but what if I hadn't? I had placed so much trust in my debit card that I had created this false sense of security that it would always be there when I needed it.
Not this week.
Someone, somewhere, was trying to "be me". My first thought when I got the call was, who would possibly want to be me? Shouldn't they try to find someone who has more money?
But it brought to mind a larger question.
SO many times I feel inadequate and have often wondered if God didn't make a mistake. My faith tells me He didn't, but people in my life surely do. In times of emotional turmoil, when my vision isn't as clear as it should be, I have to wonder who in the world would want to be me. If I think my life is a mess, others probably do too.
But in times of serenity, I can step back and look at myself and my life with a different perspective. I may not be as far as I would like to be sometimes, but I'm further down the road than I was and that is admirable. I may not have as much money as others have, but I get by. My family may not communicate or get along the way I'd like, but I have one. All in all, I have much to be thankful for. It may not be perfect, but I appreciate it.
This last week I have learned several lessons. One, I should have some cash on hand no matter what. To assume my debit card will always be available is huge mistake. Two, even though sometimes I cannot stand myself, others may envy what I have and try to take it from me. And finally, I shouldn't have to have someone else try to steal my identity before I can claim it for my own. Like it or not, I am who I am and accepting that would ease my life in countless ways.
My new debit card finally arrived. It sounds like a little thing, but it taught me a lot this week. I carry it with me and use it wisely as I remind myself who it belongs to and who she really is. No matter how small I may feel at times, I exist.
The name on my debit card tells me so.